The McCullough Chronicles

A eleven year old girl walks into her therapist's office and tells a story...

Cyril Brendon Gardner McChullough and Melissa Niamh Fredrickson McChullough are not the happiest kid's around. Their home life is screwy, their parents (the two are maternal cousins, just so you know) are trapped in unhappy marriages and they suffer the most. Cyril's mother had an affair with Melissa's father around the time Cyril was concived, meaning there's a huge chance he's the biological son of his uncle and Melissa's brother (full sibling to boot, their mothers are identical twins). Because of this Cyril's dad treats him like he barely exists, while to his mum he's just an unpleasent reminder of an awful mistake, and tears him apart for every imperfection, real or percived.

Melissa's dad is kind of a very dark take on a "really just a big kid at heart" character, usaully treating Mel like a little sister rather than a daughter, with a bit of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest happening as well, he's also fixiated on wether or not C's his child. Melissa's mother is well aware she has a very talented daughter and nephew, and does stuff that'd make the Tiger Mother say "They're just kids dude". Plus Mel's parents like Cyril more than their own daughter just as Cyril's prefer Melissa over their own son.

Their grandparents are cooler though. Granddad's a badarse, grumpy, but loving war veteran, and Grandma's like the classic personification of a kindly, old Irish granny... aside from wanting Cyril and Melissa to get married when they grow up.

This is all a bit complicated by the fact that their mothers are about three hundred and ninety.

Their maternal family belong to The Society (Or The Kingdom), a secret collection of families who's members are nearly immortal (in the sense that they look "as old as they feel") and all of whom develop superhuman abilites. There are two types of powers, ones unique to a person, usually Personality Powers, and ones inherited from parents; although those are may or may not be just because personality is partially genetic. A person can lose powers, develop new ones, have some powers change form and function. Also many of them are part paranormal creature, like the McChullough clan, who are part selkie. They are trying to make themselves seem less mystical, even though they have something like magic and live among supernatural beings, do not call them witches... to their face. Funny fact they pass down the mother's name, not the dad's.

Cyril and Melissa also have gifts, a lot in fact, very potent ones to; they also show great potential for growth and change. Some gifts have caused them a lot of pain, like their telepathy, and aura vision; which allows them to see people and things' true selves. And they have a mental link, from the moment of their birth they shared everything.

They only have like one friend, Farely Jones, and he struggles to not become an outcast for hanging out with them. They're bullied pretty awfully at school, which comes to a head when after the second last day of primary school a classmate takes pictures of them naked by a river (they can turn into seals, they'd just turned back) and sent them to all their fellow classmates. When the two found out they went on a rampage, destroying the school. So their family sends them to Saint Cyprian to get them out of their hair.

Saint Cyprian is a prestigous college for members of The Kingdom (or The Society) and other kinds of supernatural beings. It wasn't founded so much as found. It's a collection of all the lost places and things that have ever been lost and never found. It's a wellspring of mystical energy, and has all the books ever written. Externally the school takes the form of seven towers in a half circle, each one constructed in a different style and each with a simulation of a different biome on top. There is another tower in the center, each tower has a staircase wrapped around it, stacked with books. The school is evil, actively trying to kill the students. A lot of the staff is corrupt. Their equivelent of house elves are clockwork robots.

So C and M gather an odd little circle of not quite friends, and they witness Assistant Headmistress Justina Smith murder a student. If they tell somone about it she'll subject them to horrible deaths. Also Baldur is appearing in their dreams, urging them to break the veil of secrecy, because according to Baldur that'll make their home lives happier, erasing the tension of living in a family full of secrets. And Baldur was always a good guy, right? At least that's how the surviving myths paint him.

I have four book ideas, the second involving a clockwork bot trying to use student body parts to make himslef human, the third is the cast being sent to a American school as an exchange program. The fourth is about space travel.

The framing device for the first is Melissa talking to her therapist. The therapist often interupts to ask questions and give insight. Not sure about the rest quite yet.

I kinda want to go in a different direction than most YA fantasies, instead of it getting darker (it starts of pretty dark) it get's lighter. As in the characters live's improve and the tone becomes more hopeful. The ending will probably be a bit bittersweet for some characters.

Family is an important theme, as is the concept of ascending. You see all members of The Society (or The Kingdom) if they have enough inate power, wisdom, experince and skill can ascend to godhood, this is supposed to be the goal of all members of The Kingdom (or The Society) but most just pay lip service to it.

So anyone have any tips on refining the powers and their devolopmant and stuff? And what could be a term for individual members of The Society (Or The Kingdom)? And The Kingdom (or The Society) is trying to make themselves and their world seem less magical, as in make themselves think their basically scientific instead of mystical, any tips on showing that social trend?

And I want to make sure I don't run into common mistakes when writing about child abuse.

And I want some real life examples of cruel schools and educational practices

Also the books are mainly set in Western Australia, 2011.

Okay Cast Of Characters

Cyril Brendon Gardner McChullough

Cyril and Melissa have kind of a Pink Boy Blue Girl thing. He's a very severe case of "Well Done Son" Guy in regards to his mother. Ever seen Red Dwarf, he's kinda Rimmer like, but a strong undertone of the Tenth Doctor? Has OCD due to his mum inflicting nightmares on him involving disease and decay. He's very nervous about physical contact partly because of that, and he has a touch of death that's nearly completely under his control, he wears gloves because of it, even to bed. Also his favoroute colour is pink. Obsessed with the concept of justice, and wants desperately to be remembered, fond of archtecture. Is a Determinator and will never compromise his morals as odd as they be.

Melissa Niamh Fredrickson McChullough

Yes it is. Mel is venomous, very knowledgeable and knows it. Imagine a fire in the middle of a glacier. Calm caulculating... But on the inside she's in tears. Finds it hard sometimes to emphasize with people who aren't Cyril. Reacts very weirdly to affection, especially from adults, huge bookworm, kind of sporty. Has a thing for animals, would make a great solider. Imagine Hermonie if she was of her meds.

They both have a very simaler look, greyish hair and aquamarine eyes, they both look kinda creepy. C is brooding and sinister, while Mel seems emotionaless, with a sporty build. They're part Greek from their Granddad, and they do look it. Cyril's named after him by the way. Also they have six fingers and lack toenails.

They have dependence issues regarding each over, they can't comprehend lonliness, have no real idea of personal space between them. They learn faster because they share knowledge. They also have a hard time thinking of people who aren't them as people. They're rather intellectialy and musically talented. Since they look like Half-Identical Twins and have a mindlink they often pretend to be incestrous twins to creep people out. Although they're creepy by default really.

Farely Jones: Farely is like the third most important character. He has and always been (well since they were five) C and M's best and only friend. He has always struggled to be their friend and not be an outcast. He eventually sneaks into the school after following C and M going school supply shopping. Farely has been raised by his aunt and uncle since he was six months old and they treat him like... a son. They're great parents, his parents died of a drug overdose. It turns out his dad was a member of The Society (or The Kingdom) and he was a late bloomer when it came to powers. Farely is quite the Cheerful Child, kind of nerdy in a big boyscout way, you know digs up his whole backyard to find a cool bug. Also he's taaaaaaaaaaalllllllllll, seriously Granddad took one look at him and thought his mum was a giant. He's tan, dark blond and frekled, very pronounced cheek bones.

I list more characters very soon.

edited 22nd Jun '11 1:01:31 AM by Zolnier

Great minds think alike...

A chronicle about a part-selkie family known as the Mc Culloughs.... well, that caught my attention , mainly because the Mc Conri clan, part-selkie and with a lot of other supernatural powers up their sleeve, are among the main characters in my Mc Conri Chronicles....

The Masquerade and the Norse gods are there as well...

It is however set in Bonnie Auld Scotland and not The Land Downunder...

Enough about me...

Nice story, most likely a lot more promising than what I produce I would love to read about your Frankenstein -Pinnochio who takes things in his own hands . And a evil, student-killing school, you have to love that...

edited 20th Jun '11 9:33:53 AM by TheBorderPrince

Thank YouSo any thoughts on ways the Society/Kingdom could try to make their powers and world less paranormal?

My magic system: "The Mind makes it happen"-approach combined with some quantum-theory and the good old technobabble, where the electric signals in the brain transform into the suitable form of energy which then affect the enviroment in a chainreaction to get us into the multiverse with the desired result. (This theory is as one might expect never explained that much, for obvious reasons...)

Magic never makes sense, but this at least is some kind of semi-plausible explanation...

I have much to do today, so that's all for today, I think.

edited 20th Jun '11 10:48:06 AM by TheBorderPrince

I kinda don't won't to go into techno babble.

I know, technobabble is more or less the lazy man's way to explanain...

You could base The Society/Kingdom on the Enlightment, for that Old-fashioned and cultured with style and maybe with ties to those classic secret societies iof that peried that pop up in conspiracy stories all the time... Supernaturals could be called called Citoyen/Citoyenne. I see them as some kind of slightly corrupt, slightly oldfashioned nobility, atleast this is how I think they wiew each other, think the Blacks and the Malfoys of the Harry Potter-series

Do they actually have a king? It would as I see It be some kind of more or less PyhsicalGod...

They don't have a king.

have you abandoned this thread?

at any rate, what are you're other characters? and you're plot? settings? feel? etc.

Yep. I'll post other character soon as my thoughts are togethor. The plot is basically Baldur strining along C and M to start a war between magical beings and everything else. Along with trying not to be killed by Justina. Also I like the Citoyen/Citoyenne thing. And so anyone have an idea about refining the powers thing? Also I forgot to mention there's a third type of superhuman ability, ones which result from interbreeding with non-humans, these are always inherited regardless of personality.

edited 21st Jun '11 12:44:57 AM by Zolnier

Regarding cruel schools and educational practices, the strap and the cage seem relevant.

Oh those are nasty. And could be catagories The Society/Kingdom could use to sort super powers? And anyone have any thoughts on the characters? Farely especially.

edited 21st Jun '11 7:33:38 AM by Zolnier

How do Baldur look? I see him as a version of Valhalla-Loki, with blonde hair and blue-eyes, but with mythological Loki's personality: a charming, nice guy you can't avoid trusting. (Bad idea.)

What will happen to the therapist?

"I just wanted someone to talk to, but now when I have done that, you have to die..."

What kind of supernatural creatures are there?

The Therapist actaully participates in the fourth book. She probably wrote a book detailing how a little girl got her issues across in the context of a fantasy story. And there are two many to list but...

Shifters

Selkies

Deamons

Faeries

Satyrs

Trolls

Dwarves

Talking Animals

Vampires

And that's just a drop in the ocean...

Also thought of a villain for the space book. A race that cherry picks genetic traits from other races to engineer into their next generation, they have many biologically specialized castes, from builders to bullets, and now they want to add magic to themselves.

And what could the Society/Kingdom call magic?

edited 18th Jul '11 4:13:30 AM by Zolnier

So any ways they could try to make themselves seem "psychic" rather than magic? Also would it be interesting if Baldur bred Cyril and Mel's family to produce strong talents. Cyril and Melissa are the end result, rather than be stuck with a set of gifts they're powers are ever constantly changeing and morphing to fit circumstances, Essentialy New Powers as the Plot Demands justified and played with. And what could be psuedo scientific terms for magic and creatures the Kingdom/Society themselves?

The Anti Cyprian League.

A collection of talented but socially maladjusted students, headed by Melissa and Cyril.

Morgan Baker: Identical twin of Colin (see below), has for years felt depersonalized by his parents habit of unwittingly not treating their kid's like individuals, and their jokes about having an heir and a spair, and is very annoyed about the Twincest rumours that are being bandied about. Is sort of C's right hand man, well he would be if it wasn't for Melissa. One of those kid's who thinks he's political, self rightous, and has some very odd ideas about the ideal world, he kind of thinks Logan's Run had some jolly ideas for example. Actually has the makings of a good politician, and on some levels knows his ideas are crap, but he thinks if he tweeks them in just the right way they'll be great. He has a deep desire to help people, and he does reconise that there needs to be change in the Society/Kingdom, and has a loathing for apathy in all it's forms, and usaully makes a decent effort to make things better when he thinks they need to be.

Continued later.

EDIT: Another idea I had was to have C and M have some control over magic itself. But I'm not sure how that'd be work and be usfuel to them and Baldur.

edited 22nd Jun '11 3:39:20 AM by Zolnier

Morgan sounds interesting.

For control over magic, what about giving M and C the ability to enchance or drain the abilities of all magic users in a given area (possibly themselves included)?

That makes sense. And any powers you think would suit them?

Maybe Cyril could have powers relating to organisation or to justice, and Melissa powers relating to animals or to sports?

Okay what about Morgan. And maybe C and M's access to the source could make their powers very broad unlike most Society/Kingdom members. Like a Green Lantern Ring.

So what seems like a good "cap" on how many powers a person can have? C and M would lack the restriction. And any powers that could be discriminated against? So yeah basically being a source of magic means that as they gain talents, they don't lose their old ones, while other supernatural beings lose powers in exchange for others, C and M just build and build and build.

Also does this sound like a good term for inherited powers? Resemblances.

And here's what I got for C and M.

C

Fire and wood manipulation.

Ability to summon minions. Nobody's sure where he gets them.

Telekinisis. Pretty common really

Time manipulation.

Oath binding

M

Animal control.

Lightning generation

Plant control.

Super strength.

edited 22nd Jun '11 12:29:27 PM by Zolnier

Resemblances with a capital R?

C and M are looking kind of overpowered. Careful they don't become Mary Sues or nullify all plot tension.

Maybe standard magic users should just have one or two powers each?

Members are fond of capital letters. And I'll trim it a bit.

A society that promises eventual Godhood immediately makes me think "cult." I would read such a story expecting them to turn out to be lying and probably up to something heinous.

I suppose the underlying logic is that, if any appreciable number of people (ie, more than 0) had been elevated to Godhood, we would know.

Well it's hinted that godhood is basically limited to a few specially bred experiments. Jesus was one.

Controversial.

I'm aware it is but how come everyone else in history and mythology can be magic in fiction. The Lamb needs to pay his dues.