A single unified LGBTQ+ conversation

I guess I also don't really know how I'm going to make it through the next couple of years if I'm just going to keep exploding like that. Not when I still don't have a clue how to access professional support beyond what I've already done.

And tonight, the absolutely lovely combination of having to deal with both gender dysphoria and a young adult's sex drive is driving me to insanity again. Because of course they both have to be a thing, and of course they can't be mutually exclusive. And I'm now also reminded of how much I hate that bunch of arseholes masquerading as a gender clinic who refused to prescribe me antiandrogens (which would help with this very issue).

-hugs back, even though I'm doing it a bit late-

Guess we at least have each other to help deal with all this. And therapists, but that's beside the point.

edited 7th Aug '17 5:50:48 AM by ArilouLaLeeLay

*hugs tight*

Also really I need to be less embarassed about older photos of me. =/

https://www.out.com/popnography/2017/8/05/dave-chapelle-continues-his-transphobic-tirade-radio-city

Dave Chapelle is a transphobic twat.

A comedian telling jokes about a group of people? Oh, the horror!

That article is very biased and filled with a smug sense of superiority. And in addition, if you can't brush off someone making fun of things you like or identify with, then you must live a miserable life.

Please don't tell me what I can and cannot be offended by. Because only one person gets to make that decision for me: me.

His "jokes" were literally arguing that transgender people are made up and using them as a punchline.

Deebs here, who is a trans woman, is offended by it. Don't tell her what she can or cannot be offended by.

edited 10th Aug '17 4:36:54 AM by AdricDePsycho

I don't know Chapelle, so the question that hits me is "Is he the kind of comic that actively seeking outage? The kind who make their careers off offending people?"

Mainly because, if so, while not saying you can't/shouldn't be offended, active outrage means giving a person you don't like exactly what he wants.

edited 10th Aug '17 5:34:04 AM by sgamer82

x4 Did you even bother to read the article itself? Because to me it looks like you just copypasted something from the comment section and added the Sarcasm Mode and Brutal Honesty links to seem cool and to fit in.

And it's pretty hard to not sound superior when the person reading the stuff you write doesn't really understand the basics of what you're writing about. Seriously, if you read this with thought and/or asked a few follow-up questions from somebody here who is trans, your perspective on the article would be pretty damn different. The point here is: do your research before you start arguing about something. And don't make assumptions about what is and what is not allowed to be offensive, especially if you're not the one being offended.

BTW, plenty of people across the years have used a similar justification in the defence of things like, and I'm just spitballing here, blackface parties, persistent portrayal of various Asian peoples as degenerate goblin-things in media, and gay people being considered perpetually lustful walking hives of AIDS who rape children. "It's for the sake of humour! It's not really that big of a deal! No need to get that serious about it!" Well, humour can be tasteless and unfunny, and more importantly it can perpetuate wildly inaccurate negative stereotypes to the point where people start killing each other because of them. So spare me your bullshit.

edited 10th Aug '17 5:44:23 AM by ArilouLaLeeLay

Also seen the "if you want to be seen as equal to everyone else then you just have to put up with being the butt of people's jokes" spiel.

Funnily enough the person who said that to me had a strangely non-committal answer when asked if that applied to racial slurs as well. Something about how "well that's different..."

edited 10th Aug '17 5:56:21 AM by Deadbeatloser22

He's not really an outrage comic. More that he riffs on society and stuff. It just so happens his riff here was crossing several lines due to his ignorance of the topic.

Not in response to , but thanks for answering:

A good parody, to me, is one where even the person or people being mocked can feel that's Actually Pretty Funny.

I remember showing a gay friend One Piece and noting a character, Emporio Ivankov, would probably be either funny or horribly offensive. For those unfamiliar, Ivankov is basically Dr Frank-N-Furter turned up to eleven, given gender bending powers, and leading a small army of like minded and like dressed individuals. He found it funny, but I could appreciate that'd go either way.

I love OP and Oda, but he is not the most enlightened of souls in this topic. Though unlike Chappelle, I, at least, never got the idea it was meant maliciously.

edited 10th Aug '17 6:08:04 AM by sgamer82

There's a difference between putting a stereotypical drag queen in a work and taking direct shots at a demographic really.

True. It was just the parallel that immediately come to my own mind.

This is what the problem is.

It seems I have a lot of news to get caught up on...

In other news, I went to the doctor's office today. Turns out I'm clean and 18, so.

Ohei, haven’t been in here for awhile.

As far as gender goes I’ve basically gone back to being cisgender female. Still polyromantic bisexual (pansexual?) though.

I’ve also been working on a Slash Fic that will hopefully provide a more realistic viewpoint on gay relationships, specifically in Japan and the stigma that comes with it.

I had heard that Chapelle incorporated bad trans jokes in his roaring comeback (/sarcasm). I am disappointed to hear that he hasn't stopped after getting some criticism for them.

Maybe his hypocritical bigotry is the reason why I never felt strongly one way or the other about Chapelle's work. Back to ignoring him, then.

edited 10th Aug '17 7:39:34 PM by BearyScary

So, uh...fuck, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to say this. I'd been having thoughts for a while that I've only now started thinking far more in detail of, and...I think I'm non-binary. I don't really know how to go into detail about this but right now I feel topsy-turvy about this and my mind is going in a thousand different directions over this. Just refer to me with they/them pronouns, please.

edited 10th Aug '17 8:33:19 PM by AdricDePsycho

Sorry to double post, but I feel like I can explain this a bit better now:

For the past couple of weeks I'd been debating over my own gender. I'd been thinking stuff over, talking with people on Discord, and realized a lot of shit that I was internalizing. I realized I hate my body hair and my facial hair because it feels too masculine. I realized I like wearing long sleeve shirts because it feels a bit more feminine on me and hides my arm hair from people. I realized I really wanna wear black nail polish, grow my hair out long and put on lipstick, maybe eyeliner. Dress more androgynous.

But most importantly I learned that I'm not cis. I am non-binary, and I'm scared of coming out about it publicly. Last night I had a bout of dysphoria as I began to realize this and I felt scared. Sick. Like I wanted to vomit and cry because I'll never look like how I want to look. I'm too fat, too hairy, and my voice is too deep. My parents would freak out if I showed up with nail polish and lipstick on me, and I just wanna fucking avoid them as much as possible when I leave for college. But I can't. They're family, I can't leave them like that, but they're so fucking behind on LGBT matters that it frustrates me.

I just...I don't know what to do right now. I need help. This has all come to me so suddenly in one swoop and I don't know how to process it.

Alright, um that's vague, I mean my response not you.

edited 11th Aug '17 9:09:33 PM by phantom1

It's fine.

Don't know why I've been feeling so hopeless the past couple of days.

nvm

edited 15th Aug '17 5:46:48 PM by BearyScary