Whamise this line. A Game.

PRETZEL is a project to turn humans into raeioactove monsters. The speaker was turned on, everyone in the world heard.

The rose... is poisoned!

edited 19th Feb '15 3:09:35 AM by Alexandri098

The Reveal of how, exactly, The Ladykiller Serial Killer murdered his victims - poisoned roses.

He's playin' it Dark Souls - parry, parry, parry...

A side character skilled in swordplay who has just told his allies the Big Bad's strategy; wear the hero out and strike when he is vulnerable.

"Oh no... Cary was in that car!"

Cary was the speaker's 3 month old child, who was still in the car when it was stolen.

We're gonna need another timmy!!!!

edited 19th Feb '15 9:57:44 PM by HandsomeRob

This one is dead. Also, we have backup Timmys like they were Rei Ayanami.

You broke the TV.

They came into this odd world via the TV. With it broken, there's no way out.

I knew giving you that dog was a bad idea.

The dog was a demon who preyed on human flesh to survive. After they ran out of corpses from the local cemetery, the dog ran off and went on a rampage. The man who says the line is none other than the main character's father who knew about the dog's specific diet and made a deal with a very poweful demon to do things.

Y'know, a second might not seem like much time, but when it's a matter of winning or losing, it can matter a lot.

The Hero missed one crucial moment at the beginning of the story, and now the villain is going to win. How does he reply? "You just missed your second, then." *cue button press*

Now, Alice. You will kill Bob. Pick up the gun.

That's easy. The villain has mind controlling power that activates when he gives people commands.

What are you talking about? He is a fucking CAT!

Alice has been hired to kill Bob. She's been pursuing another Bob for the entire story, only to find out at the end that her actual target is a cat.

Look out, dumbass!

Said the villain while shooting the protagonist

One of my favourite from Naruto:

Now, how will you deal with the second one, Onoki?

edited 19th Mar '15 8:10:21 AM by Alexandri098

...the villain said after the hero, Onoki, managed to defeat the horrible zombie-cyborg-pirate-t-rex by using the very last drop of his power.

This isn't the sandwich I ordered

edited 19th Mar '15 11:03:04 AM by Cozzer

Local vigilante Martin "the Crusher" Miller is trying to relaxe at his favorite restaurant, but a violent gang fight starts outside and a man is thrown onto his table through the window.

"Don't do it! We still have two pineapples left!"

After a tragic shipwrecking on a desert island, it has become more and more clear that the few survivors will have to eat their former companions to survive. But as Harry is about to bite the leg of his uncle's body, Sally stops him.

Seems like this search parameter isn't working.

edited 23rd Mar '15 2:14:20 AM by Cozzer

The protagonist is using a computerized database to prove who really killed his wife (he was framed), but the search parameter he used before doesn't work now — probably because whoever did it is covering their tracks.

Adolf! Stop playing with your paints and come talk to the nice man.

Oh, God. Bob is really going to do it. This is overheard by the time traveler trying to keep history together.

You must choose again. The blond or the brunette. Tick tock...

Our protagonist's partially Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory recalls two different timelines where she has two different siblings; a blond brother and a brunette sister. She must remember which one is the "real" timeline and restore it (thus erasing the other sibling from existence). Her attempt to Take a Third Option has just failed.

Actually, I think you'd make a great little brother.

The Big Bad, known for overwriting his victim's memories, says this to our Kid Hero protagonist. The Reveal about the villain's deceased younger brother follows- as well as his intentions for the hero.

This music is all f*ckin' wrong!

edited 23rd Mar '15 11:04:44 PM by LordoftheJunpeiZone

Journey to the Center of the Mind of a demented spouse. The other half is present for the journey, and this was their wedding, or how they remember it. The scene is incredibly warped and surreal, illustrating the spouse's dementia but the sane spouse fixates on the music being wrong, Comically Missing the Point. Another character who was there, asks what the song was; this spouse still gets it wrong though. At the end the other spouse is revealed to be a split personality of the demented one; the person who's mind was being journeyed into, in a Tomato Suprise way (no one else knows who this other person is and basically ignores them)

EDIT: Damnit, looking at this now that I haven't been awake for 23 hours, I realize that this is actually more foreshadowing than a wham line. Sorry guys/gals.

"The Shard Exists"

edited 2nd Apr '15 4:49:18 AM by MakotoYuuki

In a World… where magic has long since vanished, magic has become something of a myth. Its power came from an artifact know as the Shard. Archeologists are trying to make sense of a civilization that could perform incredible feats, well beyond what a normal human can do. Their answer comes suddenly when they find proof of the Shard's existence.

"He got on the bus and sat down."

A number of people are thrown in a horrible and violent Battle Royale. The fight happens in an enclosed valley and the only way to get away is to use a bus, which you can operate only when you've taken the keys from your opponents' corpses. That is the last line of the book.

It seemed she had misread Steve's name.

To save the world, a woman has to deliver a package to some guy named Steve. Unfortunately, she misreads the name and gave it to the villain, Stephen, instead.

"Somewhere, a sheep opened its eyes."

The Big Bad is some kind of weird spirit who can possess the body of sleeping animals (and humans) and transform them into some kind of deranged murder beasts, and is using this ability to commit various rampages since when the host is killed, he merely come out of the body. The heroes know how to defeat him for good and, after a tense stand-off, manage to corner the spirit and use the ritual.

However, in the last pages, the heroes discover that the ritual was botched at some point and the spirit wasn't killed for good. Instead, he was merely sent far away.

The last words reveal that the spirit is now in possession of a sheep somewhere in Europe, and can begin his rampage anew.

"Ready for a ride, partner ?"

edited 4th Apr '15 3:27:48 PM by Bolded1

In The Wild West, two cowboys have had a personal feud for many years. When a wanted criminal came through the area, the was a fierce competition between the two cowboys to track down and capture the criminal. However, as the criminal continues his violent rampage, one of the cowboys offers to team up with the other to put an end to the menace.

"I turned the key and opened the door, and found a plum in the closet"

A murderer has been poisoning people with plums. The protagonist finds a plum in his closet, belonging to his/her spouse, roommate, child or other person with whom they share living space. It could even be the protagonist him/herself.

I don't remember any of this.