What on earth are you trying to sell me, adserver?

A political candidate for a town that's more than an hour away, in a different county.

A con in Melbourne. If only I could afford tickets and have some way to get all the way over there...

Danganronpa V3, particularily for Vita

...yeah, I would buy it... IF I COULD(as in, if it actually was in stock)

Clothes and shoes that I was looking at yesterday...and decided were too expensive. Maybe if I ever get a raise/promotion, but for now, I can't do $100 shoes.

Also, tequila. I don't like tequila unless there's something else in the drink that can mask the taste.

Adserver, why are you insinuating that I need plastic surgery and assisted living?

Also a new Nissan, the cellular phone service I already use, and.. cell lysis kits.

Adserver please go back to the cattery ad with Lil BUB, that one was cute.

Moonshine? No thanks.

Mill Levy for Thornton Fire Department. Am I in Thornton Fire Protection District? Or Federal Heights Fire? I don't even freaking know, you guys. My ZIP code is Denver, my county is Adams (which means my police dept. is Adams County, which is good because it's not Denver PD), my fire department is...???...but whoever it is, they do their own transports and are backed up by Northglenn, my school district is Westminster...

Is it Jurisdiction Friction or an Eldritch Location? The world will never know.

(Actually it's probably the former, since it follows the Denver metro street rotation, but that's boring)

I didn't know there was such a thing as fire protection districts. Is that unique to Colorado?

Nope! "Fire Protection District" means "Which fire department will show up when I call 911?" Sometimes, it coincides with your city. Other times, a fire department will cover a county, multiple cities, or some arbitrary area that doesn't really coincide with city or county limits.

A personality test. I already know my personality, though; I'm an introverted, persnickety, tightly-wound, sensitive person with a propensity to take care of others.

Milo Yiannopolis (is that how you spell his last name?)...

I don’t even know what to say about that.

I don't need Nature Made vitamins, thank you very much.

Before I registered, I once encountered ads for what I believed was an H-Game. How that got there is Less Disturbing in Context.

I do not want to become an essential oils coach, and I don't need baby products.

Orthopedic surgery? Hmm. Does neck surgery count as that? Because I am in pain and would like my entire neck replaced.

I know it doesn't actually work like that, but one can dream.

I'm getting ads for a show on Telemundo (a Spanish-language channel). I don't speak Spanish that well, and I also don't have cable.

Pisst. Piiiiisssst.

Hey, testosterone supplement advertisers. I get the whole 'target demographic' thing, but you do realize that those adverts doing that whole "buff older man pretends to be frail enfeebled elder to catch gorgeous women off guard" are creepy, sexist, and embarrass older men who aren't trying to get women young enough to be their daughters to sleep with them? I mean, those Cialis adverts might have been annoying but they had way more class than—

What do you mean 'that's our marketing strategy?'

Well, could you piss off and let me watch Two Best Friends Play in peace, then?

Yeah, that is creepy as hell.

Luckily, I'm getting ads for a Hawaiian vacation. It's like Brain Bleach. Except I can't afford Hawaii. At least it's a pleasant daydream...

Adbot, please. Why do you think I want a vaporizer?

Adserver, I already have glasses and do not need a new pair right now.

I also do not need Medicare or assisted living for the elderly. I may be about to turn 606 but I've got eternal youth.

Also that sweater is really cute! But it starts at size 1X and I wear a small, do you see the problem here?

Wine. But I can't drink anymore! (Because medication. And I technically can have one drink every few weeks, but only if I'm not driving, because that one will knock me on my ass and give me one hell of a hangover. New rule in my world: One drink is equivalent to one bender, so I save those drinks for the most special of occasions.)

Seriously, I am having a hard time with this. I don't keep alcohol at home anymore. I've had to hide all the alcohol ads on my facebook and instagram (which are many; I have "liked" and followed a bunch of different breweries in my area because I love beer, and even after I've unfollowed them, the ads keep coming).

edited 20th Nov '17 7:12:15 AM by RaspyMink

Adserver, I have no children, I do not plan on having children, why are you showing me ads for Disney baby clothes?

(I mean I suppose I could put them on my cat, but she probably wouldn't really like that too much.)

Yeah, that tends to work better with dogs.

Also, Samsung, I do not need a Galaxy Note 8. I have a perfectly adequate Galaxy J7, and I plan on using it for at least the next couple years.

Adserver, I do not have children at all let alone motion sick ones, so you do not need to warn me about motion sickness remedies containing red dye and not giving them to my children, (Or warn me about them for myself either because I just use ginger for that sort of thing.)

You can continue trying to sell me Ritz crackers though; they're delicious. But I would've bought them anyway without adserver influence.

Circles that make my life easier. (Pizza and tires)

Also, a direct Denver to London flight. Do not tempt me, adserver.