Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

The explosive reactive tiles were a great success. The explosive reactive tires? Less so.

The Jury is still out on the explosive reactive files.

What about the exploding reactive fires???

Dont be silly, all fires are explosive reactive

By the way, the coda to the Team Evil Surgery Escapade? We're taking a break from that party... and three different people are making characters that can heal others (I'm a life oracle, so I'm on primary heal duty, while the battle oracle and the druid are on backup healing).

Also, what's great is that, despite the misadventures of Team Evil (including letting one member get killed off for excessive racism within the party, the messed up stealth checks that killed two others, and the fact that we can't agree on when's the best time to backstab NPCs, resulting in two battles that we really didn't need), the GM officially declared it "the best cooperation (he's) ever seen in an evil campaign." The entire group is laughing about that.

EDIT: Don't Explain the Joke.

edited 22nd Dec '14 10:04:35 AM by 32_Footsteps

To be fair, that's a bit of an Overly Narrow Superlative.

It doesn't matter how big my ego is, praying to myself doesn't make me more powerful (yes it does).

Declare yourself god of Narcissism and tie down a few peasants and forcefully convert them to the honorable path.

In fact me and my dwarven friend tried to invent a new orcish god with me as the head of the new church. Our DM kept a little fame chart and everything. In the end it was like the spread of Christianity: it spread quickly and completely throughout an unhappy people. Unfortunately we didnt get to live to be the Orcish Battle Pope we wanted to be. I wanted to make a rule out of that tale but the DM swam with it pretty well.

edited 22nd Dec '14 6:29:51 AM by MonocleMinotaur

• I may no longer attempt to ride the inexplicable hovering ancient Dwarven heavy laser cannon by using its kickback as propulsion (well, the hovering is easy enough to explain- a wizard did it. The existence of the laser cannon, though, is a bit harder to get past. As is the fact that the laser has recoil )
  • I may no longer attempt to use the inexplicable hovering ancient Dwarven heavy laser cannon as a lockpick.
    • If I am informed that the door is made of adamantite, so I can't break it, the proper response is not to try to steal the door.

• I may no longer realize that a single, largely-grabbed-at-random-for-no-reason magic item has crippled the DM's planned boss fight so badly that it ends up completely trapped and being plinked to death with magic missile over the course of ten minutes or so. Especially not when my character is unconscious at the time.

• I may no longer derail the dungeon's climactic giant boss fight by force-feeding it a hundred pounds of magic plastique mid-fight.
  • If I insist on kasploding the climactic giant boss fight, I should take note of the fact that this is an elder gold dragon of Bahamut, tainted by the Far Realms and completely insane, who has been performing a demented version of Bahamut-worship in a region of both planar and temporal rifts, on top of an ancient altar of Orcus. Large explosions here are not a good idea.
    • I may no longer blind-roll a natural twenty on my arcana check to prevent the rest of the world going boom when the dragon does. The DM was a bit put out that he didn't get to do anything weird to us.
      • When the previous is pointed out, I may no longer say that I had actually been considering throwing the Eye of Vecna (well, an aspect of it, at least) into the Far Realms portal in the middle of all the other weirdness, just to see what would happen.

edited 23rd Dec '14 8:16:53 PM by TeChameleon

Actually no it's not. Photon's have momentum. Heck, using the momentum from photon's as a form of propulsion is a real idea.

Er... might have phrased that poorly; I'm aware of solar sails and whatnot- it's a multi-tonne heavy laser having enough kick to apparently be uncontrollable if fired when it's not mounted. Photons have mass, yes, but... uh...

....*takes notes**because he plays a laser using wizard in a Dresden Files game*

Momentum, not mass. They can't have mass because they travel at the speed of light and anything with mass going that fast quite quickly has it's relativistic mass increase to infinity.

But conservation of momentum does mean that there will be recoil and because it's hovering even the smallest amount it going to be noticeable. How much is slightly separate question.

Our starship does not need a "it has been X days since the last nuclear/chemical/biological/radiological incident" signboard.

yes it does. all work place/homes need such signs, if only to scare visitors.

Wait, that means something without mass can have momentum?

And exert a force on you, when sum of forces is mass times acceleration?

Yes, zero mass, but it does have momentum. Though I do believe those changes are calculated using conservation of momentum rather than the traditional F=ma equation.

Piloting while intoxicated is strictly against Imperial Navy regulations; even if you accomplish your objectives because you are too good of a pilot for a handful of setback dice to stop you.

As a side note, it's worth noting that this is actually codified in later versions of Tomb of Horrors. Enough people literally took the time to take the doors off the hinges of said dungeon that they later specified that the doors only acted like adamantine while on the hinges due to a spell active in the dungeon.

Remember, if you steal everything that isn't nailed down, it's because you forgot the claw hammer to remove the nails.

'Ello y'all. I've only played for the past semester, but I've already got a few in this Shin Megami Tensei d20 home brew.

- Not allowed to be the only person smart enough to make a cop with extra layers of bullet proof vests.

-Even if it's due to my boss always forgetting his.

-No, you cannot make a cop and then proceed to put no points into firearms and the rest in blades. -You can put most into blunt tho

-(For someone else) Do NOT set everyone on fire if they seem to be reaching for a cell phone

-Rolling a natural 20 against the party diplomat and arresting them is alright. Proceeding to role four more 20s and extract every bit of info about the local gangs and mafias in new York City is not. Especially if I'm cackling madly.

-No, you cannot make yourself effectively immune to each and every party member, as well as more tanky then most demons. Abilities will be nerfed just for you.

-Taking scratch damage from claws, guns, fire, ice, blades and lightning will result in the DM using solely Almighty attacks on your character, as well as an assassin robot demon specializing in just this and targeting you.

-It isn't 'self-defense' if your character wants to knock another PC out, even if the horror stories about the player important warnings.

-Planning for their eventual but inevitable betrayal IS allowed.

-Killin the sister of the only character who can damage you is not the smartest decision. Even if it pushed the plot forward.

-The forces of the divine generally dislike fighting alongside the fallen.

-Intentionally tripping so the squishy mage gets hit by the incoming bullet is not okay.

And for the Dn D 3.5 game I'm in:

-While you specifically mentioned training in horseback riding in your background, and provided lots of reasonable reasons for why you should have it, you do not get combat Ridin as a free feat.

-As a paladin, you are supposed to follow the code of conduct, not wave them off as "guidelines."

-Having a supply of holy water at all times is smart in an undead related campaign; flooding the catacombs you're abut to search with 'create water' and then blessing it , while smart, is not allowed.

-no, you cannot create holy symbols so that other party members may turn undead.

-Just what ARE you planning to do by spending 1000 platinum on a temple to Heronious?

-Mocking the ranger for his wolf companion turning into slime due to an entropic blade is not allowed. Even if you just spend a hero point to let them keep their own leg.

-Mocking the rogue/shadow dancer for being unable to do anything other then aid due to failing their knowledge (religion) checks on the undead is not allowed.

-Neither is offering to educate them for free ranks.

-Mocking the monk for rolling five natural 1s in a row is allowed. Just don't be surprised when he ''accidently' throws a moltov cocktail at you.

-Why no, that Ring of Sustinance is not yours, and in fact does not even exist. Enjoy your crappy potions instead.

edited 30th Dec '14 10:23:17 PM by darrelodin

I wanna play a Shin Megami Tensei game. I would TOTALLY Roleplay a Law-freak well.

These all came from trying 5 with the starter kit.

Not allowed to roleplay with my Doctor Orpheus voice; seriously the neighbors complained.

Not allowed to come up with various derogatory terms for human thugs instead of researching goblin culture.

Not allowed to only use shocking grasp as an elaborate way of suicide.

• ESPECIALLY when taunting humans with the aforementioned derogatory terms

We as group have noticed the tendency to name characters after David Bowie Movies, so Jareth Gamaliel is a solid no.

Cannot just kill a random bystander to become Chaotic Neutral instead

edited 5th Jan '15 11:03:49 AM by MonocleMinotaur

Black Crusade:

• If I can't mentally subtract two two-digit numbers reliably fast, I am to stop trying and instead use the following simple rule for calculating degrees of success:
  1. Subtract the rolled tens digit from the adjusted characteristic value's tens digit.
  2. Add one if the rolled units digit is lower than its target counterpart.

edited 5th Jan '15 3:14:06 PM by Medinoc

Dark Heresy :

• My psyker is not allowed to handle or use grenades. Especially since she doesn't have the throwing arm to ensure she's out of range.
  • To kill a daemon on our first mission, the grenade taking off the assassin's leg was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
    • This trend has continued and every mission seems to involve questionable victory via grenades. (Grenade thrown up on a stage from the front row to kill a witch ultimately cost the cleric his life, grenades in spaceships are bad ideas, etc.)

edited 6th Jan '15 2:18:05 PM by Luthen

I may not even think about rolling a Fighter/Bard for our medieval setting...

Our GM has been very firm.

edited 6th Jan '15 7:35:14 AM by 3of4

This one's for a friend of mine.

• Just because we're in a setting with a ton of floating islands and you have psychic powers, it doesn't mean you're allowed to teleport bosses off of floating islands and/or cliffs. Not even if the one time you did it, the DM decided to have the boss take 4d20 damage.

edited 7th Jan '15 1:59:47 PM by Tojin

I am only allowed to do that trick with a feather token once. Relatedly, magic items are a privilege, not a right or a guarantee.