Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

I've got a general rule for players. If you play an evil character acts like to much of a dick right at the start, you will die/ get arrested and the party will meet your identical good twin in the inn.

These are for my players

1) The Alliance to Restore the Republic generally frowns upon outright torture. Yes that COMPNOR operative was a war criminal by any sane definition but that doesn't make tearing out one of his eyes out acceptable.

2) Suicidal/nonsensically brave actions are also frowned upon; especially when it's done by the guy flying the ship with over 100 people objecting to the fact that he's flying through a canyon in a blockade runner at max speed.

Gave me an excuse to have an Alliance Intelligence handler, doubling as a psychologist (since 2 of the 4 P Cs are considered mentally unstable even by Alliance infiltrator standards), assigned to them. Cause they needed someone with ranks in Charm/Negotiation and refused to buy a Protocol droid. I had them fail a few checks and they still didn't get the hint and/or just resorted to violence.

edited 4th Oct '14 4:15:36 PM by Rationalinsanity

I am not permitted to eat my operational budget

I am not permitted to eat anyone's operational budget

Look, we all know that Yu-Shan money is basically candy coins covered in gold foil, I'm still not permitted to eat it.

Well, okay, I am allow to eat someone else's operational budget if I have written permission from my department head.

I am not allow to make my resplendent destiny head of my department.

I am no longer allowed to make a town out of nothing but resplendent destinies. Yes, the town of Phars was incredibly useful but now the pattern spiders twitch every time we mention resplendent destinies and some of the terrestrials are catching on.

edited 6th Oct '14 5:23:18 AM by Belisaurius

Pattern Spider, Clock Spider, same thing.

@1975 Sounds similar to the old "Too many Monty Python and the Holy Grail quotes and you get eaten by a tarrasque or smacked with an Orb of Annihilation, no save" rule.

It might be better to generalize it.

"If you quote a movie set in the current game's genre too much, the GM reserves the right to horribly kill and mutilate you with the largest destructive force he can find."

I dream of the group where I could pull that off with Paranoia and quotes from Brazil, if only for the fact that it'd demonstrate that my players had great taste in films.

If I am GMing, NPCs and sapient monsters must speak like someone other than Gabby Hayes.

Addendum: They are also forbidden from speaking like Yosemite Sam, no matter how much a particular dragon claims to "hates them adventurers."

edited 10th Oct '14 7:09:34 AM by Jhimmibhob

Ok, I'm actually banned from declaring myself the Heir of Slytherin now.

No bringing up Logistics when attempting to Talk The Monster To Death. No pointing out that Chaotic Evil is unprofitable.

Pragmatic Villainy is a trope. Not a fact of life.

And certainly don't point out that the Engine that runs on souls is actually a pretty terrible value compared to a slave empire with those same bodies.

edited 11th Oct '14 4:04:09 PM by stevebat

Well, that last part depends entirely on how effective the engine is. Sure, if you have to keep showelling souls into it it'll probably be more effective to just use the victims as slaves and have them do your work for you, but if it can get a lot of mileage from a single soul, then it will likely be more effective.

And that's not even getting to the fact that the engine might be able to things you can't do with just slaves, like fly or power your Ultimate Weapon (tm). Bonus points if it can recharge itself with the souls of your slain enemies; at that point it practically pays for itself.

Trust me, I didn't get a phd on Evil Economis for nothing.

Isn't evil economics redundant?

Why not just work you slaves to death and use their souls when they die?

Sometimes you need the souls earlier than you need the labor.

Have a daily lottery? You draw a green ball, you get to slave the whole day. Draw a red ball..well..

Devious. I like it.

• If i'm summon a roc, it's assumed to be the mythological being, not a famous wrestler.
  • I will need a spell other than summon monster to summon a giant roc.

I am never allowed to enter a room by myself.

Yeesh, I only took 500 gold for myself and bluffed the entire party into believing I found nothing. Ooc everyone has figured out that I'm the most evil person in the game. IC I'm a good guy.

I am no longer allowed to kill 20 or so minions in their sleep at the same time without a weapon.

edited 20th Oct '14 3:43:32 PM by Tojin

dO nOt aRGuE lOgIc wITh eMBodiMeNtS oF Ch Ao S.

Even if all the non-droid characters were specifically warned to leave the ship beforehand, there is more to pathogen decontamination than industrial quantities of Clorox and bleach.

Well, no wonder. You ought to have been arguing illogic. That would have persuaded them immediately.

edited 27th Oct '14 10:55:45 PM by Noaqiyeum

In Magic, no longer allowed to have more than three 1/1 Insect tokens with flying and deathtouch on the field at a time, nor am I allowed to cause anyone else to have said amount of said tokens.

I was in an EDH game with a deck with that and a deck with Norin the Wary.

With what, Hornet Queen or Hornet Nest? (As an aside, the player I made win with the BEEEEEES got Hornet Nest and Hornet Queen in the same booster. He's got Hornet Queen set aside for when he makes Mono-Green, and uses Hornet Nest in his current deck, Green/White.)

Not sure, and actually I think they were squirrel tokens or something that got deathtouch through another card's soulbond ability. :/ Thing is, Pandemonium was on the field. Nothing survived.

Dear God.

Of course, though, neither did the Norin player. :/ I actually ended up taking him out, then got taken out myself shortly afterward. They were trying out experimental power things, kinda like emblems that you start with, and mine said, "5UU: Steal target creature."

Turns out stealing shit is a great way to draw aggro in EDH.