Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

That might end in massive amount of lulz or tears (or both).

I am no longer allowed to bring out Krezznorg, Half-Orc Half-Minotaur Half-Fey, or his pirate ship backpack/bludgeon. (Large size, improvised weapon damage, and 67 strength before magic items HOOOOOO)

Told my one of my friends about Creig. He told me he'd skin me alive if he ever saw him or an Expy of him in a game he ever runs.

@Exelixi, I am very tempted to throw you at my modded D&D 'verse. Well just to see how long it takes you to destroy reality.

edited 15th Nov '12 8:12:34 PM by gbrngfol

Explosives do not solve everything. Especially what to do with a potentially malovolent orphan.

edited 16th Nov '12 4:24:57 PM by TuefelHundenIV

That's just mean.

Edit: What are Eploxives?

edited 15th Nov '12 9:07:53 PM by gbrngfol

I need to become an eploxives expert in the next D&D game I play.

It's something that eplodes, obviously.

edited 16th Nov '12 3:59:59 AM by IraTheSquire

From yesterday evening:
There will never be a situation in which I will be justified in stealing the medic's morphine supply, especially if it's to deal with a small child that is irritating me.
And just because I can convince her it's justified doesn't mean I should.

If the situation calls for 'The Sun Rises', it is to be assumed that I may never do it again.

You have a GM who prohibits awesomeness worthy of that song? What the hell?!

Nah, I was just making things up to take advantage of how I started playing Okami recently.

I haven't gotten to properly tabletop-game in years. ...

No longer allowed to have permanent Fast Healing equal to or greater than my maximum HP.

edited 16th Nov '12 12:33:14 PM by Muramasan13

If you saw what this orphan did you would seriously condier the explosive option.

Well nothing is bad enough to justify buying explosives just for that job. You should've stabbed the orphan.

edited 16th Nov '12 5:02:17 PM by gbrngfol

There is a reason for the explosives. They weren't bought so much as acquired.

• My players are no longer allowed to carry more than one explosive device per person, not after they blew up a C'tan shard by simultaneously blowing up 40 kg of demolition charges and 30 meltabombs (that does something like 700 D10 damage. I stopped rolling after the total had reached several hundreds, even after removing about half the damage through successful energy field saves).
• Combining all their democharges into a single explosive device doesn't count.

While we're on the subject:

• Despite claims to the contary, Gnomes are not explosive.
• Similarly, Dwarves do not require labels reading "Keep away from sparks and open flame".
• Elves are not oxidizing materials even if ours IS an airhead.

edited 19th Nov '12 8:28:53 AM by Azreal341

...How did they carry/afford/acquire that many melta bombs?

Our Heretek got the skills necessary to make explosives, and had a lot of downtime, so he acquired a ton of materials and crafted them over the course of several months (in-game, out of game it msotly happened when we were travelling in the Warp). He also had a large box floating on a maglev platform where he carried them, as well as other supplies (mostly rope. Having 1km spool of steel-reinforced rope and a grapling hook comes suprisingly handy). The box was rigged to explode if somebody imput the wrong entry code or tried to force it open, so they threw a grenade at it and ran like hell. This was actually the plan B, after the plan A (hit it till it dies) seemed to be a failure (the C'tan shard killed the Heretek who was using a Necron device to weaken it, and would've killed the rest of em pretty quickly when at full power).

Hypnotism can only target enemies in combat - not allies who I find exceptionally annoying at the moment.

When playing the Silent Hill module for d20 Call of Cthulhu, I am not allowed to create a character who's played the games and thus knows what he or she is in for.

Likewise, in no Call of Cthulhu game am I allowed to play as H.P. Lovecraft himself.

Female D&D dwarves do not have beards, and thus it is not necessary for me to ask every dwarf I interact with for their gender.

This is not the Disc. The Theory of Narrative Causality is not something that my character would have studied.

Just because Bright Slapping worked to bring an ally out of a magical funk outside of battle once doesn't mean I can use it to cure people under the daze effect.

I am to stop naming my primal-class or feywild-originated PCs after characters in the Táin Bó Cúailnge. While a Celtic name may be appropriate for the character, it's a pain in the ass for the DM to keep track of a name that sounds absolutely nothing like how it's spelled.

The dwarf thing depends on who you ask. And the last one... You, sir, are a man of impeccable taste, and also your GM is a cunt for denying you the right to call any given character Conchobar, Medb, or Cu Chulainn.

I'm no longer allowed to summon Niv-Mizzet. He's a little TOO good at taking down an Attack Helicopter...

I am no longer allowed to suggest plans that involve luring Reavers to a skyplex so we can break in in the ensuing chaos to rescue our friend.
I am even less allowed to try and manipulate circumstances so that this is our only viable option.

Double post but still:
I am no longer allowed to turn our session into the opening of a cheap porno.