The TV Tropes Benevolent Fun Summer Camp of Happiness

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I thank you for participating and welcome you to the camp, where we will do fun things and have fun. Now please unpack your trunks at your assigned shacks, guaranteed to be free from wild animals, eldritch beings, ski mask-wearing serial killers, and peepers. Please return to the campfire area by eight o'clock for dinner, along with a variety of surprises and fun activities. Until then, have fun!

Uh, hi, quick question. Where are the shacks? I mean, I looked around the whole place, but all I found were the weird coffins that looked like they housed giants...

Uh... those are creative designs by the architects! The shapes have been scientifically proven to be the most pervert-proof building shape known to man! Now go to your shack, unpack, and don't ask anything else! Go on! Shoo!

...okay.

Hey. I'm David's inner monologue. Since he's a quoit kid, I'm here ta tell ya' what's on his mind, since he never works up da' noive ta' say it. Ya' know, I don't think he has a real reason to give me a Brooklyn accent oder than becose he thinks it's funny. Anyway, right now, he's seriously considerin' callin' da' cops.

Is there a phone here?

Aw man, like dat'll ever work! He knows he's trapped, he's not even sure if he knows his parents' phone numbahs!

edited 15th Mar '11 7:20:01 PM by AwesomeZombie22

-Signs up for staff-

This is where I go to oppress everybody, right?

Yes. Now prepare for tonight's summoning.

Ah, yes, telephones. Here you go. (hands a cellphone). Whoops, no reception here. Well, you can still go around the camp and have fun.

Fine.

Wait, are you an agent of Eddie?

This agent of Eddie thinks that such an assumption is ridicu- Um, nope. What's an Eddie?

Yup. His gut instinct was right. He shoulda' told his parents he didn't want anytin' to do with summer camps.

Please tell me Jason won't be here....

This isn't gonna end up like Sleepaway Camp, is it?

What, with a girl named angelica turning out to be a man all along and dislocating her jaw? Are you F*cking crazy!?

Relax, I'll protect everyone.

Why have Rage Against The Machine suddenly appeared and started playing on the band stage?

That wasn't on the schedule...

Oh well... Might as well enjoy the show.

Puts on shades. Rule of Cool, of course. We need background music.

-Eldritch goes onto the stage and turns into Slenderman-

   ... GO AWAY!   

I'm going into my cabin for some z's.

So, uh... do we have a badge system here?

I think you deserve one for asking that!

And you should get a badge for giving me a badge!

Which means I get a badge-giving badge, too! Yay!

We all get badges! Now, what is the purpose of badges?

*KA-CHICK* Disassemble. I repeat, disassembl—skrieeeeek *tap tap* it's on — "Dear children! This is your gentle and just Camp Disposition Management Leader speaking! Let me remind you that this sunny day is all too lovely to waste on making up far-fetched theories regarding the purpose of our wonderful Encouragement Badge System! As for our daily fun surprise, everyone gets a lollipop at the waterslides! Please form three orderly queues to redeem your free lollipop!"

edited 14th Jan '13 2:47:08 PM by peccantis

-rushes to the waterslides-

• goes to the watersides as well*

I hope they have Root Beer lollipops!

Man, I don't know what you guys are worried about. This place is pretty cool.