Video game lessons learned the hard way

Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart

• Your Jump stat governs how far you can jump up and down. If, say, your Jump stat is 1 and you try to jump down to a square 2 spaces below you, you'll suffer falling damage and lose your turn.

edited 4th Mar '15 4:55:17 PM by WillyFourEyes

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Mount and Blade: Warband (again)

Sorry toots, but if you want a fief you're going to need at least twice as much renown as my least valuable and absolutely untrustworthy vassal! GawddammitIamgoingtorazeSargothtothegroundyoubastardjustgivemeafief!

When playing a newly independent warrior queen with low Right to Rule your enemies will be loathe to sue for peace. Even when you have most of his generals imprisoned in your brand new prison tower. Seriously, at this point I'm carving the Sarranids up like cheese.

Athletics is supposed to help you keep up with your equally heavily armored army of knights as they're storming the castle. It's not meant to help you catch a new horse in the middle of battle.

The probability of you dying skyrockets if you lose your horse. Armor may reduce the damage you take, but you're still susceptible to Death of a Thousand Cuts.

A horse going down in battle can literally cripple it, and thus ruin your 10,000 d investment.

Honestly just treat your horse better than the person you most love in the world. It does more for you anyway.

edited 4th Mar '15 7:57:48 PM by AnSTH

But that's a story for another time.

That's surprisingly realistic, honestly. People are also generally better at taking care of themselves, so you don't need to treat them as carefully.

Check out my fanfiction!

Yup, been through both of those. If I roll an Amazon, I tend to spend a year or two in-game hunting criminals, build myself up, and then take land before ever joining a faction. Best way to do that is to wait til a Kingdom's already engaged and then start kicking them out of castles and cities on the other side of their country. You weaken them, which makes it easier for their enemies to tear into them, and you get some territory for yourself. Just get a truce early enough that they don't retaliate, build your army back up for a month, and next time they're under attack go for it again.

An "Amazon?"

It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.

Female warrior. Amazon. By now that's really all the word means.

...I just call them warriors. Because, you know, some of the myths have them kidnapping, enslaving, and raping men to continue their society, as well as killing or abandoning the male children at birth.

Also, because I'm a geography-freak, but mostly the former.

It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.

ETA: Actually, no. Not engaging in discussion of this. Call it what you want.

edited 5th Mar '15 6:07:51 PM by Journeyman

Sorry. I'm not trying to start a debate or something. I was just clarifying why I was confused.

It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.

Ah, well. Everything I've read says that historians have already nailed down the probable reality behind the myths to Scythia, where at least some women actually fought alongside their husbands and were honored by being buried with weapons. Plus the tropes on this site, while they accept the existence of the myths, aren't focused on them. They really do just generalize Amazons to tough warrior women.

And that's why I use the word.

edited 5th Mar '15 6:21:14 PM by Journeyman

Monster hunter: The Deviljho is a hungry, but friendly being, and will not devour your ass the moment it sees you and may give you an item if you kick it.

But yeah. Don't go near the Deviljho.

Ever.

And then there was silence

Is that bold part what you were thinking when you decided to kick something with the word Devil in its name?

It's a fitting name, though. That dinosaur's a nightmare in more ways than one.

135 - 169 - 273 - 191 - 188 - 230 - 300

the "friendly" part came from my first encounter where it interrupted a Congalala hunt, roared, and walked away doing fuckall

And then there was silence

From Gen 3 Pokémon onwards:

• Don't teach a pokemon all HMs, especially your water starter (if you picked it.)
• Make sure the others get training, too.
• Legends aren't always the answer to the Elite Four, unless they're RequiredPartyMembers.
• Don't replace moves just to see the new moves' animations.

edited 6th Mar '15 8:57:46 AM by TroperNo9001

"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"

Actually, some people will use the strategy of teaching 4 H Mms move to a single pokémon (calling it an HM slave) but it will be an otherwise irrelevant one to not cripple their best team members.

It's because I prefer not to use HM slaves as much as possible.

"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"

Ar Tonelico 1:

• Mid-game onwards, your Reyvatail will go down the moment an attack goes past your guard, regardless of how full her HP is. Pay attention to the enemy performing the charge (some of them have different animations, some don't).
• Taking the above point into account, Paralysis is the nastiest status effect around, since they can make you miss that one last Protect.
• Reyvatail dying will completely reset your hard-earned harmonics level. Also, she'll complain about it later.
• Ar Tonelico/Tower Connect takes forever to charge at harmonics level 1, drains your MP tank like the hole that sunk Titanic, and takes a ton of DP to upgrade. However, it's your only decent shot at beating the final boss without resorting to good ol' grinding.
• Song Spells doesn't need to be charged all the way to do significant damage, especially if Sheurelia is the one doing the charging. In her case, pay attention to her somewhat flimsy MP.
• With sufficiently upgraded characters, an Energy Ball/Boom/Primal Word at 1000% will instantly bump your harmonics level.

edited 7th Mar '15 10:45:05 PM by FlowingCotton

Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate :

• You're slow. Like, super slow. If you improperly time your attacks, you'll only open yourself to getting gnawed.
• Dodge. All the time. Even when it's not attacking right now.
• They still haven't put an auto-aim. Be sure your character is facing the monster before attacking, even if the camera is centered on it.
• Remember : the computer hates you. If you need to carve a specific part on the monster's body, it just won't give it to you.
• What ? Attacking some specific parts will increase your chances of getting that special part you need ? Haha, that's a good one ! As if it's possible to have the monsters stay put to give you ample time to aim !
• The fact the game gives you Felynes that help you in battle doesn't mean it will be a walk in the park. Asides from a few tricks they'll use once in a blue moon (instead of all the time like any sane person would), or for crowd control against hordes of small monsters, they're useless.
• It's always when you really need to take that potion that the monster will ignore your allies, constantly attack you and never leave you a moment to escape him for recovering.
• Yep. As annoying as it was before, your character still makes those ridiculously long animations any time he takes a potion or repairs his weapon. "A monster is charging me ? Who cares, I still need to flex those musc-" -gets stomped-
• The Gore Magala's breath weapon has an area of effect that is a LOT larger than anything you've encountered so far.

The fun thing about the Deviljho is that even the creators know it's a nightmare - it's a boss enemy in Project × Zone.

I haven't known true fear in a very, very long time.

The Binding Of Isaac: Rebirth:

One that applies to a lot of games actually. If the game stops being fun and starts being work, play something else or just stop. Getting good runs of items to make it to the Boss Rush or beat the Lamb can take a lot of tries, but you really shouldn't feel like you have to play.

Going to try Octodad for failure that is also funny.

But that's a story for another time.

Seconded. Life is too short to be playing something you get little or no value out of.

This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...

I read that as "Second Life is too short to be playing something you get little or no value out of," which is kinda funny, if weirdly phrased.

Check out my fanfiction!

Hyrule Warriors

• Ganon's Fiery Breath has pretty short range and a long execution animation. It's very easy for Manhandla to strike back in those few seconds for some serious damage.
• Focus Special attacks (and Ganon items) can't force a weak point on giant bosses that are recovering from a knockdown. Time it carefully.
• The knockdown from Fury Horn takes effect at the end of the attack, not the beginning.
• The Giant Cucco's only advantage over Ganon is that it naturally generates Magic Power when fighting other giant bosses.
• When playing as a giant boss, Recon Soldiers appear in groups. If one discovers you, then all are considered to have done so, and they stop moving towards you.

If everyone were normal, the world would be a dull place. Like reality television.

Tales Of Xillia 2

• This game is equal parts Video Game Cruelty Potential and Video Game Caring Potential. It's not always clear which choice is the good one.
• As a result, this game can make you feel really good or can make you appear to be the scum of the earth.
• Seriously, this game is an emotional rollercoaster; steel yourself accordingly.
• Solo Ludger on auto is incompetent and practically requires Recall.
• Some bosses can destroy your party on a whim.
• Make sure your party is at least the same level as the boss or you won't stand a chance. Level grinding goes a long way in this game.
• Don't go into the Tatalian Abyss when it first appears; you will be TPK'd by everything.
• You will go through items like no tomorrow.

Life is more fun with infinite MP.