Kill or kill, you know?
(Bump)
The ender dragon flies out of the game, killing me.
TNP is working.
I’m your best friend! LOVE: 26, HP: 120/120
Not Sherlock Holmes
A construction crane’s hook impales me. As if that wasn’t enough, the person driving it mistook me for a wrecking ball, and I am swung to my death.
TNP is looking at a lovely mural.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Scorpio LAT “Leiurus-V”
The mural is of an eldritch abomination. It promptly comes to life, Mind Rapes you, then reduces you to a state where you are eternally aware, but subjected to constant unrelenting pain and torture at the hands of Demons made of RAPE and LEMON JUICE who continuously soul-rape you. And you're unable to go insane, die, forget or deprive yourself of your senses. You Have No Mouth, And You Must Scream. Forever. (Note: Demon part was based off of a 40k demotivational poster describing Warp Travel.)
TNP didn't wash their hands.
"I swear, Colonel, I did not shoot at you because you called my sister slow. I would not miss if I did."
Not Sherlock Holmes
I somehow get a flesh eating disease carried on by the bacteria.
TNP is in the Sydney Opera House.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
The script calls for the opera singers to sing their loudest notes at their highest possible volumes in the seat where you're sitting. And they're all singing into megaphones. Your Head Asplode!
The next unfortunate poster is watching the Winter Olympics when...
edited 10th Feb '18 6:23:48 PM by WillyFourEyes
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Not Sherlock Holmes
A curling stone somehow hits me in the nuts, killing me instantly.
TNP is setting up a Rube Goldberg Machine.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Blitzy....
I accidentally touch the button too early. Then, I get scalded to death with hot tea, burnt by fire, and chopped up by the fans.
TNP is watching The Emoji Movie
Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
I pull out a revolver half-way through the movie and gave the theater a new paint-job.
TNP is playing with a frisbee
edited 12th Feb '18 9:28:14 PM by Jaxfirebus
Kill or kill, you know?
The frisbee has spikes on it and as I catch it, I get decapitated.
TNP is watching a movie, when...
I’m your best friend! LOVE: 26, HP: 120/120
...
The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You from Michael Bay.
TNP is eavesdropping a conversation about themselves.
...
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
The mafia boss' Dumb Muscle caves your skull in with his pinky finger for snooping.
The next vict—I mean, poster is hiding in a bunker to avoid playing this game. It's too bad that...
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
He'll take the case!
I forgot to pack any food and slowly starve to death.
TNP is staying at a hotel.
Word's second most famous attorney with a bird-related name.
Blitzy....
While I'm showering, I decide to use the hair dryer. Bad idea.
TNP is now playing the piano.
Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
Joyful angel
The piano comes alive and eats me.
TNP is eating popcorn and watching A scary movie.
"How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?"
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
The killer pops out of the TV and smashes you with it.
The next poster just had to take that shortcut into the Mountains of Malcontent.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Scorpio LAT “Leiurus-V”
Rocks Fall, and you die screaming under several tonnes of rock, turned into a red smear on the mountain paths.
TNP posts here, and forgets to add a 'TNP did x' section to their post.
"I swear, Colonel, I did not shoot at you because you called my sister slow. I would not miss if I did."
Kill or kill, you know?
A hand comes out and chokes me. (Also, do the thing in first person, not second, sorry for being a grammar nazi, lol)
The next poster presses escape to pause the game.
I’m your best friend! LOVE: 26, HP: 120/120
Not Sherlock Holmes
The game is paused forever, and I am helpless to stop the computer being hard resetted, killing me.
TNP is at a Mexican Resteraunt.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Scorpio LAT “Leiurus-V”
A bunch of lunatics build a wall over the restaurant, and I'm used as a supporting section of the wall.
TNP decided to face-palm.
"I swear, Colonel, I did not shoot at you because you called my sister slow. I would not miss if I did."
Lovely Legilimens
I facepalm so hard my hand goes right through my head.
TNP is knitting.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Oops! You bled out after jabbing yourself with your knitting needles.
The next poster tries to pull out a sword embedded in a stone, and...
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Not Sherlock Holmes
It slices me in half.
TNP is wearing moose antlers.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
After being mounted on the wall, after a 'hunting accident.'
TNP is shopping.
I slip on a wet floor and slide into a glass display, which shatters into tiny pieces that deal me a Death of a Thousand Cuts.
TNP is trying to start a war with Mexico.
I ram headfirst into a roadblock, fly over the handles into a truck carrying "EXTREMELY SHARP AND DANGEROUS OBJECTS FOR MEN!", i wasn't man enough.
TNP is playing Minecraft with mods.