Web Video / Honest Trailers

Never Trust a Trailer? You can definitely trust these!


From the YouTube channel Screen Junkies, who struggle hard to make their other videos as popular as these, comes a series that imagines what movie trailers would say if they were truthful, yet still narrated with an epic Don LaFontaine-esque voice. JAZZERSIZE. Sorry, just had to say it.

Honest Trailers.

They describe movies with such Brutal Honesty that you wouldn't even want to watch it if you saw this trailer in theaters. Key targets will be excessive Plot Holes, strange characterization, obvious Product Placement, more plot holes, Special Effects Failure, and the actors' stupid faces. Ah, but who are they kidding, often times they still love these movies.

Starring Saucy Director, the writer of Ladies of Rap, Cyclops, and the only one you've ever heard of: Epic Voice Guy. And Epic Voice Guy Sr. We wish him the very best.

Check them out at the link.note 

See also Honest Game Trailers on Smosh Games.

This web series provides examples of the following tropes:

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  • Race Lift:
    • In Skyfall, there's disbelief at the fact that Ms. Moneypenny's black. Credited as "Miss Moneypenny's black?!"
    • The "race bending" of The Last Airbender is "advertised".
    Narrator: Watch as the ethnically diverse heroes you know and love are brought to life as generic white kids, and the ethnically diverse villains... stay ethnically diverse.
    • Lawrence Fishburne as Perry White in Man of Steel is credited as "Perry Black".
  • Rage Quit: The narrator finds After Earth far too dumb, gives up, and drives off in a huff just before the cast reading.
  • Raging Stiffie: In The Lord of the Rings, Elijah Wood as Frodo is credited as "Morning Wood".
  • Real Trailer, Fake Movie: For April Fools' Day, there was an Honest Game Trailer for Half-Life 3. The trailer pretty much consists of calling it the greatest human experience ever made.
  • Reality Ensues: What happens during the Honest Game Trailer for Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
    (Edward dives into a bale of hay) "Surely this small amount of hay will cushion the impact—*CRACK* OH GOD, MY BONES!"
    • Honest Action explains how some movie injuries would be a lot more severe in real life, by describing how many lives one needs to survive all of them.
  • Recurring Element: Each of the Mission: Impossible films involves a rogue IMF agent and an arms dealer.
  • invokedRecycled Script:
    • The Spider-Man trilogy. Composed of:
    1. Spider-Man, where Peter Parker struggles with his powers, breaks up with Mary Jane, and fights with a villain that ultimately kills himself;
    2. Spider-Man 2, where Peter Parker struggles with his powers, breaks up with Mary Jane, and fights with a villain that ultimately kills himself; and
    3. Spider-Man 3, where Peter Parker struggles with his powers, breaks up with Mary Jane, and fights with a villain that ultimately kills himself. "Wait, did they just make the same movie 3 times in a row?."
    1. Back to the Future: where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and set up the sequel,
    2. Back to the Future Part II: where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and set up the sequel, and
    3. Back to the Future Part III: where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and leave open the possibility for a sequel.
      Biff Tannen: There's something very familiar about all this...
    • Skyfall's trailer lampoons how the hard drive Bond is after contains the identity of all NATO agents, which is ripped off from Mission: Impossible and how the ending is a rip off of Home Alone.
    • Jon Bailey actually interrupts his reading of the Divergent honest trailer because he sees it as being identical to the Hunger Games.
      "So it's the Hunger Games without the actual games? That must be horrible."
    • Modern Warfare's storyline is called as such.
      Narrator: Pick up all three of the best-selling shooters that are all the same, full of rehashed moments like: slow-motion door breaches; the level where you control a giant gun; that part where you look around and wait to die; the unnecessary controversial moment; and, the climatic ending where you're seriously injured and the main bad guy is about to kill you... but then he gets distracted by something which gives you enough time to kill him first.
  • invokedRelationship Sue: Ryan Gosling in The Notebook is credited as "Perfection".
  • invokedReplacement Scrappy: Tokka & Rahzar (who are Suspiciously Similar Substitutes for Bebop & Rocksteady) are referred to as, "two lame-ass ripoffs that no-one ever asked for!"
  • Retraux: The Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Top Gun trailers are filtered to make it look like they were ripped from an old video tape.
  • Revenue Enhancing Devices:
    • Titanic 3D. "3D so real, you can actually feel James Cameron stealing money from your pocket."
    • As the introduction of Modern Warfare points out
      Narrator: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. Special Edition [Total Cost: $180]. Plus DLC [Total Cost: $280].
  • Rule of Cool: In The Avengers, they point out their disbelief at how the Incredible Hulk could suddenly and inexplicably control his rage, "which doesn't matter, because that shot was awesome."
  • Running Gag: "STARES." Also made into an Overly Long Gag set to very EPIC music. Done for X-Men and Godzilla, too!
    • "And leave a comment with a word you'd like to hear me say in my awesome voice."
    • "...Bewbs!" / "...Abs!" / "...Tush!" / "...And pixellated Bahls!"
    • Shots of characters looking strained from a test of strength will be dubbed: "(Character) pooping."
    • Any trailer involving an animated movie will have silly dubs of the songs, with the obligatory love song changed to a song about porking.
    • The constant Bonnie jumpscares in the Five Nights at Freddy's video. As well as at the end, the narrator is relieved that at least there are no sequels, only for the sequel title to appear. At the end of the Honest Game Trailer for Five Nights At Freddy's 2, the exact same joke is done only to reveal Five Nights At Freddys 3.
    • The Pokémon trailers will at least have one Pokemon being called "This (Creature) is on Fire!"
  • Sand In My Eyes: At the end of Home Alone, when the old man is reunited with his estranged son, and finally meets his granddaughter.
    Narrator: This scene always gets to me. [sniffles] I'm not crying! You're crying!
  • Scenery Porn:
    • Skyfall is criticized for its absurdly long landscape shots.
    • Also, The Lord of the Rings is described as an eleven hour New Zealand tourism commercial.
  • The Scrappy: invoked Skyler White in Breaking Bad is Walt's annoying wife "who at first you wish would just go away, then later will wish she could just get away, since she's married to a complete sociopath." [shows clips of Walt being hostile to Skyler to demonstrate his point, including his "I am the danger!" scene]
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Combined with a Rage Quit in the Honest Trailer of After Earth; the narrator leaves towards the end after realizing how many terrible Plot Holes the movie has.
    Narrator: Look, I gotta get outta here. It's just not worth it. You guys don't have to pay me for this one, just call me next week for Walking Dead. [drives off]
  • Seinfeld Is Unfunny:invoked In the Pokemon Gold And Silver Honest Trailer, the narrator makes a big deal of the fact that it was the first Pokemon game to have:
    Narrator: Full. Blown. COLOR!
    [sounds of Chirping Crickets]
    Narrator: Look, it was a big deal at the time, all right? Jeez!
  • Self-Deprecation: The trailer for the Screen Junkies channel.
  • Serial Numbers Filed Off: invoked When the movie they're making an Honest Trailers shows similar plot to another movie.
    • Inception is "A supposedly original film that's actually just The Matrix, except with creepier extras, and unclear rules [of physics]."
    • Skyfall is shown to be another big offender.
      • The plot — that Raoul Silva has stolen a harddrive with a list of secret agents, "which the writer stole from the plot of Mission: Impossible."
      • The finale at the Skyfall estate, "an ending so goofy, they just ripped it off from Home Alone." Cue a montage of the Skyfall booby trap sequence. In the montage, clips from the second Home Alone movie of Harry setting his head on fire are spliced in.
    • Subverted with Guardians of the Galaxy
      Narrator: What I'm trying to say is: they're the Space Avengers. But I guess it's technically not stealing if they're ripping off themselves.
  • invokedSequelitis:
  • Sexposition: "A show with so many monologues, HBO will desperately try to keep your attention by any...boobs...necessary."
  • Shaped Like Itself: In Home Alone, John Heard is credited as "The Dad From Home Alone".
    • Before this, Sam Neill was noted as being "That Guy from Jurassic Park".
  • Shout-Out:
  • Shown Their Work: The Pearl Harbor trailer lists several actual heroes of the attack under "Not Starring," including Kenneth Taylor and George Welch, who really took off and shot down Japanese planes.
  • Single Tear / Inelegant Blubbering: The Spider-Man Trilogy trailer contains a montage of Peter Parker doing both of these.
  • Skewed Priorities: From Les Misérables (2012):
    • In the beginning part:
      Meet the spirit of human redemption, Jean Valjean
      A paroled thief now on the run under an assumed identity
      For reasons never made clear in the entire movie

      Who must face off against Inspector Javert
      An officer with such terrible priorities
      He'll put the entire city of Paris on lockdown
      To stop a man who already served his time
    • And:
      Leaving Valjean to now care for Cosette
      [Fantine's] precocious child who is scared of the dark
      But is totally cool letting some stranger
      drag her around the city
    • Then finally, a two-in-one hit:
      Now at the dawn of revolution
      One young man will give up everything
      invokedFor a woman he's met through a fence
      Prompting a heartbreaking romance we know nothing about
      Because the entire subplot is glossed over
      To make room for countless scenes of Borat
    • From Game of Thrones
      Narrator: Watch as everyone fights to sit on the world's most uncomfortable chair, while completely ignoring an invasion of ice zombies that threatens to kill them all.
  • Slasher Smile: Willam Defoe as the Green Goblin freaks out the Narrator when he makes this:
    Narrator: ...eugh, he looks better with the mask on!
  • So Cool Its Awesome:invoked
    • Despite making fun of Jurassic Park in their trailer, the narrator excitedly gushes over the climax with the T. rex.
      Narrator: Aw man, what an awesome shot... oohhh, look at how the banner falls! I gotta watch this movie again!
    • He also excitedly features his favorite moments of Stuff Blowing Up in Breaking Bad.
    • And gushes about Hulk punching a Chitauri leviathan in The Avengers.
    • Pacific Rim gets called "either The Most Awesome Dumb Movie Ever Made or The Dumbest Awesome Movie Ever Made."
  • Something Something Leonard Bernstein: Calls Frozen's Fixer-Upper as "The One You Don't Know the Words To"
    So he's a bit of a Fixer-Upper
    Something something
    Something something
    Little bit of love!
    I———— don't know what the words really are
    (It's okay) (We'll make them up!)
    No one knows what-a we are a-singing
    But it's fun to sing it anyway-a!
  • invokedSo Okay, It's Average: The Narrator's opinion of Thor.
    Narrator: You've seen great superhero films, you've seen terrible superhero films. Now, prepare for a superhero film that's just kinda... "ehh". I'm mean, I guess they did the best they could adapting a comic book about a bratty space god.
  • Speaking Simlish: The Narrator points this out in The Sims:
    Narrator: Create your own story as your Sims babble away in incomprehensible Simlish...
    Male Sim: (question in Simlish)
    Female Sim: (agreement in Simlish)
    Narrator: ...a ridiculous fake language like Klingon or Swedish.
    PewDiePie: (angry Swedish cursing)
  • Spinoff: Honest Action, which has a certified physician analyze action movies and list the injuries the character would receive in the real world.
    • There's also Honest Game Trailers, which focused on video games instead of films or shows.
  • Spiritual Adaptationinvoked: Brought up in the Fantastic Four trailer:
    Narrator: And don't tell me it's impossible to make a good Fantastic Four movie. It's called The Incredibles, and it's perfect.
  • Spoilers: The series openly discusses them, since the videos are released after the film in question is available on DVD.
    Narrator: The following is rated "S" for spoilers.
    • Game of Thrones has a spoiler-free version where potentially spoilery content (even those from the first episode!) was either blurred or bleeped. This includes every mention of dragons.
  • Spoof Aesop: Describes Frozen as a movie that "teaches girls everywhere they don't need a prince to rescue them, because all men are disgusting loners [shows Kristoff], greedy murderers [shows The Duke of Weselton], or lying, manipulative, power-hungry sociopaths [shows Prince Hans]".
    Narrator: Happy now, Jezebel?
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: The X-Men: Days of Future Past trailer lampshades how Wolverine is always this, in detriment to most other characters.
    Narrator: In a world full of other cool X-Men meet...Wolverine, for the seventh f(bleep!)cking time.
  • Stalker with a Crush: The Attack of the Clones trailer calls Anakin a "a rat-tailed ***hole who's been creepily stalking Padme for the last decade". Cue montage of Anakin's love declarations throughout the movie with dissonant horror movie music added in.
    Padme: Please don't look at me like that.
    Anakin: Why not?
    Padme: It makes me feel uncomfortable.
    Anakin: [Smirking] Sorry milady. [Stares at her leaving for an uncomfortably long time.]
    Narrator: Eyuugh.
  • invokedStar-Derailing Role: Credits Maria Pitillo in the Godzilla (1998) Honest Trailer as "Career Killer."
  • Stealth Insult:
    Narrator: From the director of two good Batman movies...
    Narrator: From the network that brought you Breaking Bad, a show you couldn't stop watching, comes a show so inconsistent you have to keep talking yourself into watching...
  • Stillborn Franchiseinvoked:
    Daisy: Luigi, Mario! You have to come with me, I need your help!
    Narrator: [flatly] Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
  • Strangled by the Red String: invoked The romantic subplot of Les Miserabablebles, as pointed out in the third example for Skewed Priorities above. The HT for The Hunger Games also claims Katniss and Peeta lack chemistry.
  • Stock Footage: Superman IV reuses "the same flying shots used over, and over, and over, and over again.
    Narrator: "Seriously, these are all the same shot? You couldn't do one more take? That's... that's lazy, you guys."
  • Strictly Formula:
  • Strong as They Need to Be: In The Dark Knight, the Bat-Armor "can withstand falls from any height, but sucks against bullets."
    • Also, in Batman & Robin, "watch Academy Award winning ladies' man George Clooney phone it in as Batman, a hero capable of performing impossible feats... except for moving his neck. Or body."
  • Stupid Crooks: In Fast Five, "gear up to steal $100 million with the dumbest criminals ever as they: take off their masks during robberies, go for leisurely strolls while all of Rio's drug gangs are after them, and drag race cop cars they just stole down the middle of the streets."
  • Surprise Creepy: About Peter Pan:
    Narrator: Revisit the animated classic that will make you say: "This is way creepier than I remember it..."
  • Surprisingly Improved Sequel:invoked Their opinion of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
    Narrator: You weren't that impressed with his first movie. He wasn't your favorite Avenger. Now, get ready for the sequel that made everyone say... "Holy s***! Who knew Captain America kicked so much ass?"
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial:
  • Take That: Pretty much the whole point of the majority of the trailers.
  • Tank Goodness: The Honest Game Trailer for Batman: Arkham Knight focuses mostly on how the Batmobile is esentially a tank. So much so that they call it Arkham: World of Tanks.
  • Technology Marches On invoked:
    • In Jurassic Park: "Re-experience the ground-breaking CGI that still holds up after twenty years, [shows shots of the park's 1990s computers] and all of this technology that doesn't."
    • In Harry Potter, Hogwarts is a place "where technology seems to have been frozen in the nineteenth century, replacing cell phones and the Internet with quill pens and owls."
    • In Home Alone, "bundle up and relive the early 1990s joy of Micro Machines, starting lineup figures, Johnny Carson, 35 mm cameras, landline phones, answering machines, pre-9/11 air travel, and Macaulay Culkin."
  • Tempting Fate: At the end of the Five Nights at Freddy's trailer:
    Narrator: At least this is just one of those one-off internet fads that I won't have to play anymor-(cue trailer for Five Nights at Freddy's 2) Oh f***. We're gonna have a million of these, aren't we?
  • That's What She Said: As stated about Man of Steel in response to Lois Lane's attempts to plug something into a hole and saying it's supposed to go all the way in.
    "Luke is the best bush pilot in the Outer Rim Territories."
    "Look at the size of that thing!"
    "They came from behind."
    "...should be able to penetrate the outer defense."
    "Almost there... Almost there...!"
    "Didn't go in."
    "You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!"
    "Luke, at that speed, will y'be able to pull out in time?"
    Michael Scott: "That's what she said! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
  • Theme Tune Cameo: The requests at the beginning of Terminator 2: Judgment Day are put in a way the Previews Pulse that accompanies them plays the Terminator theme.
  • The Unintelligible:
    • In The Dark Knight Rises, chaos will arrive in the form of Bane, a villain who no one can fully understand.
    • In the Honest Trailer for The Expendables, the narrator lampshades this trope by asking "Was that even in English?" after one of Sylvester Stallone's one liners.
  • They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: Mentioned In-Universe in their trailer for World War Z.
    "Man, what a waste of good source-material."
  • This Is Gonna Suck:
  • This Loser Is You: "From J. K. Rowling, the author of the book series that kept Borders open for another few years, comes the movie adaptation for people too lazy to read [shows clip of Uncle Vernon grabbing a container of ice cream from the freezer]."
  • Throw It In: In-universe. In the Kingsman trailer, the narrator references how Samuel L. Jackson invoked this trope to give Valentine a lisp, and he wonders if the director was too scared to refuse.
  • Time Skip: In Skyfall, "when Bond is abruptly killed, it'll only take the length of one Adele song before he anticlimatically pops up in the most secluded corner of the globe. That conveniently has CNN in English."
    • Also mocks the fact that in The Dark Knight Rises, after Bane takes over Gotham, the movie skips over three months, during which there is only "one riot and zero gridlock. Seriously, where is everybody?"
    • Les Miserables has "Not since The Dark Knight Rises has a movie been so manipulative with its use of time jumps."
  • Toilet Humor: In the Grown Ups trailer, they deliberately criticize the overusage of toilet jokes.
  • Troubled Production: invoked World War Z, "a film with so many production problems, people were genuinely surprised when it wasn't a complete disaster."
  • Trying Not to Cry: The Fault in Our Stars trailer has the narrator making a game attempt at remaining snarky while summing up the climax of the film, only to break down by the end of it.
    Narrator: [while sobbing] Enough! It's too sad! Just go to starring! Go!
  • Type Casting: Invoked in the trailer for Die Hard regarding Reginald VelJohnson:
    Narrator: Meet Reginald VelJohnson. After he was the cop in Ghostbusters, but before he was the cop in Family Matters, he was the cop in Die Hard!
  • Unfortunate Implications:invoked
    • From Transformers: "But in the meantime, there's gratuitous porny shots of Megan Fox, weird racism, and robot fights that erupt around random hot girls Michael Bay was trying to pork."
    • From The Notebook: "A love that taught an entire generation of women that it's perfectly okay to string along a sweet, handsome, supportive guy, as long as you're able to satisfy your every impulsive desire."
    • They note that in Breaking Bad, Walter White and Jesse Pinkman battle some of television's greatest villains, all of which happen to be angry Latino men (ay-ay-ay).note 
    • Home Alone makes a point of telling you to "Witness years of neglect and abuse take their toll on Kevin McCallister as he shows all the signs of becoming a sociopath, like: manipulation [shows Kate sending Kevin up to the third floor after the pizza incident], talking to himself [shows Kevin talking to himself in the mirror while using deodorant], entrapping two nonviolent criminals [Harry and Marv] inside a sadistic world of torture from which there is no escape [shows scene of Harry's head being set on fire with a blowtorch], but gosh darn that he's just the cutest little thing."
    • From Transformers: Age of Extinction: "From a franchise known for objectifying hot, young women; prepare for a new low, as they make the movie's hot chick an underage girl, make her boyfriend a legal adult, and literally stop the movie to explain why it's okay for them to pork. [...] If only they put as much effort into justifying the plot as much as they did with having sex with a minor."
  • Values Dissonance: They invoked and poke fun at Disney about this in the Peter Pan trailer, first by doing a montage of the sexism in the movie before moving on to showing the unfortunate portrayal of Native Americans. It then goes on to show all the other racial stereotypes in the other Disney films.
  • Verbal Tic / This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: In Breaking Bad, "meet Walter White's partner Jesse Pinkman, a Juggalo without the makeup who prefers the formal term for female dog." [Cues a montage of every instance of Jesse saying "bitch"]
  • Very Loosely Based on a True Story: Naturally comes up in 300.
    Narrator: A film based on a comic book, based on an older film, based on Ancient Greek propaganda, based on a true story!
  • Viewers Are Goldfish: In the honest trailer for Kingdom Hearts, the narrator explains that you'll travel along with two of the most famous cartoon characters of all time (Donald Duck and Goofy), "but don't worry if you forget everyone's name, because they remind you every five seconds." ''[Montage of them introducing themselves as "Sora, Donald and Goofy") And then the narrator calls them "Dolan and Gooby" when he continues.
  • Viewer Gender Confusion: invoked
    • They mistake Ellen Page for a boy in Inception. And Legolas for Gwyneth Paltrow.
    • Helena Bonham-Carter is mistaken for Tim Burton in Les Miserabablebles.
    • The narrator got smacked with this hard In-Universe in the Final Fantasy VII trailer.
      Narrator: You'll also join forces with hot chicks like... Tifa... Aeris/th... and Sephiroth, whose beautiful silver hair, slender hips, and deep green eyes will leave you breath— [Shirtless Sephiroth appears] wait, he's a dude!? Aw man! I have his picture up in my bedroom!
  • Victorious Childhood Friend: The Narrator jokes that Peeta's role in Catching Fire as "his never ending journey to escape the friendzone."
    "Holy shit that worked. Not bad Cake Boss, not bad."
  • Villain Has a Point: According to the Narrator, the human antagonists in the X-Men movies:
    Narrator: Watch as all mutant-kind must band together to defeat evil government officials out to prove that mutants are dangerous... which they totally are! [Cue montage of mutants being dangerous with comedic music playing over it, ending with Charles Xavier being brainwashed into snuffing out humans with his mind.]
  • Villainy-Free Villain: The Narrator considers Khan to be this in Star Trek Into Darkness.
    Narrator: [Khan]'s a ruthless villain so diabolical he'll... not kill Spock [Khan shoots Spock's gun out of his hand], let Kirk express his feelings [Khan does nothing while Kirk punches him repeatedly], and ultimately be completely justified in his actions. [Khan talks about wanting to save his family] ...you've gotta admit, he's got a point.
  • What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: invoked The Narrator points out that The LEGO Movie would be very different if told in another medium.
    "Laugh along at the mix of expert CGI and comically bad Live Action — that covers up the horrific reality of what you're actually watching! Like this cop killing his own parents! The destruction of an entire city... the brutal beheading of one of the films heroes! And the fact that this father and son have created a sentient universe in their basement that they can destroy at any time!"
  • What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?: invoked The Honest Trailer of Super Mario Bros. asks how much acid the filmmakers took. After seeing the infamously In Name Only Goombas dancing with each other, the narrator decides "Okay, all of it. All of the acid."
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: "Wait, whatever happened to that hard drive they were looking for? Wasn't that the whole point of the movie? No? Oh, OK."
  • What The Hell, Casting Agency?: invoked During the "Starring..." portion of the 300 trailer, the Narrator breaks from giving witty nicknames to voicing his shock at some of the actors who got cast.
  • Worst Whatever Ever: Batman & Robin is referred to as The Worst Batman Ever.
    • The "Just Sayin" reporter from Iron Man 3 gets called the Worst Movie Extra Ever. They even hijack the Iron Man 3 CinemaSins video to point it out again.
  • X Meets Y: They call Home Alone "one half Ferris Bueller, and one half Saw."
  • The X of Y: "Travel to Westeros, a place where everything is the Thing of Nouns." Hand of the King, Light of the Seven, Brienne of Tarth, Lord of Bones, Lord of Light, Master of Coin, Mother of Dragons, Son of Dolf, Son of Fire, Warrior of Light, Bank of Braavos, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North...
  • You Are Number Six:
    • In Skyfall, Severine is credited as "Random Bond Girl #732."
    • In Ant-Man, Darren Cross is credited as "Disposable Marvel Villain #9."
  • You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!: "Will Smith as Cipher Rage... Hehe, okay guys, very funny, what his real name?" (Followed shortly by this trope, name dropped)

"Thanks for watching. Be sure to subscribe. And leave a comment with something you'd like to hear me say next time in my awesome voice."
"Shrek is love, Shrek is life."
"I am a banana."
"Join me, and together we can rule the ga."
"Star Wars: The Force Awakens"
"I am a smelly butt-head who liked to wear dresses, and I poop."
"I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, bewbs."
"I used to be a narrator, until I took — nope, not saying that."