Web Video: The Cine-Masochist
aka: The Cine-Masochist
'The Cine-Masochist'', real name Petar Gagic, is a web reviewer, who bucks the trend of angry negativity commonly associated with video reviews, and instead focuses on positive reviews 1980s action movies, exploitation movies, sleazy crime thrillers, and practically anything else featuring gore, nudity and ridiculousness. He calls this style of trash filmmaking, "Zinema."
A typical episode will explain a little about the film's specific genre, the director, and the general history behind the film, before the Cine-Masochist goes through the plot and then proceeds to gush at length about the film's excellence
The series can be viewed here
Movies CM has reviewed with their own pages, in no particular order:
The series contains the following tropes:
- Amazonian Beauty: Lifeforce review laments the loss of the days when Ms. Fanservice was an athletic Action Girl who could kick ass, rather than Hollywood Thin.
- Awesome McCoolname: "Yes, his middle name is actually 'Tiger'. Would I really fuck with you?"
- Bilingual Bonus: One video has Petar (who's ethnically Serbian) denounce A Serbian Film... in Serbian.
- Catchphrase: "Go fuck an iceberg!"
- Caustic Critic: Viciously defied - CM loves every movie he reviews, even if he has bad things to say about them.
- Coitus Ensues: In Steel Dawn, Patrick Swayze's character proceeds to have sex with the female supporting character, because "A heterosexual male and female in the same movie have to sleep with each other in the third act." This, of course, offsets the bubbling homoeroticism between Swayze and the leather-clad, sword wielding villain.
- '80s Hair: Oh, so much - both of the big fluffy female variety, and the resplendent mullet of the 80s male
- Even the Guys Want Him: Patrick Swayze in Steel Dawn.
"I'd fuck him."
- Gentle Giant: The guy who lifts weights in his room and collects Horror and exploitation movies? Biggest Nice Guy you'll ever meet.
- Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: Set up, and then ultimately subverted in the review for Womens Prison Massacre. CM begins to say something about how hot two women having sex is..and then stops, saying that that's the kind of thing he'd say if he were a complete macho douchebag.
- Heroic Build: One of the few male Video Review Show hosts who doesn't have a Geek Physique.
- Hidden Depths: "Black Sheep Cinema" is one big Massive Multiplayer Crossover analyzing A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge. Argues that a lot of the gay undertones actually add complexity and social commentary to the narrative.
- He speaks fluent Serbian.
- Limited Wardrobe: The man himself is almost always seen wearing an exploitation t shirt, usually a "Holocausto Cannibal" one.
- There used to be an army jacket as well, but it was switched for a handheld mike.
- Manly Tears: One of Peter Weller's scenes in RoboCop (1987) gives him these. Every Time.
- Mr. Fanservice: "some of you just cant seem to get enough of me, but, hey, that's cool, too."
- Odd Friendship: He's a bodybuilding Canadian who reviews exploitation/horror and makes his own Jason Voorhees masks, she's an Australian who reviews Queer cinema and Period Drama and title cards her videos with tasteful watercolors. Together, They Fight Crime... or just do Crossovers and sport fabulous feather boas. They also share a taste for the macabre and backgrounds in the visual arts, making it a case of Not So Different.
- Rated M for Manly
- Real Song Theme Tune: "Justice For One", borrowed from Savage Streets
- Recurring Riff: The Hands Of Steel theme.
- Retraux: The Epic title sequence. If The Cinema Snob can be described as "shot on shitteo," this is Design Student's Orgasm, 1970's style.
- Running Gag: References to Bad Dudes; use of Konami beat-em-up music.
- Self Depreciation: After noting how many name actors are in The Keep, he openly questions whether he should be reviewing it.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: The Naked Serbian Indian. He doesn't wear pants, either.