WMG / The Order Of The Stick Jossed

This is a page for theories about The Order of the Stick that have been Jossed by the strip or Word of the Giant. Please move any open theories to here if they are jossed.

Nale retreated to his hometown of Greysky City after leaving Azure City, and Haley will have to fight him and/or work with him to resurrect Roy/escape the city.

A corollary to the above, and I think an Enemy Mine situation is like the only thing the author hasn't done yet unless I'm mistaken.

• Well, there was Elan and Thog...

Eventually, Xykon will break down and admit his love for Tsukiko

Right before murdering her horribly. What better way to tell someone their services are no longer needed?

• Jossed. Redcloak is the one that kills Tsukiko.

The Linear Guild will face off with Team Evil first in Girard's Gate

There are three teams poised for a confrontation in the Gate: Team Evil, The Linear Guild and the Order of the Stick. Out of all these teams the good guys get delayed the most. The parties who will clash first would be the Linear Guild and Team Evil.

Minister Malack is a vegetarian/vegan.

He's deathly pale and apparently has a "special diet". No one else knows he is, possibly since not eating meat is a horrid taboo in traditional lizardfolk society. Not to mention, a character that seems to be a vampire (as some WMGs have claimed) turning out to just be a vegetarian fits perfectly with the comic's Rule of Funny rules.

• Pretty much Jossed by his vampirism.

Malack is Tarquin's Token Good Teammate

He became fast friends with Durkon, even helping him with his new spell. It's also possible Tarquin is paired up with him for the same reason Roy keeps Belkar around; to keep him from doing something against the party's alignment.

• Malack casts Harm and Inflict Critical Wounds in one comic, something only Evil Clerics get, if I'm not mistaken. That doesn't mean he can't be a nice dude though, he's very pleasant for an evil mastermind with a large role in the oppression of an entire continent.
  • Good clerics can cast Inflict spells but they'd have to prepare them in advance, unlike evil clerics who can spontaneously cast them. However, quickened spells can't be spontaneously cast without some serious feat preparation and Harm needs to be prepared either way. However, I'm part of the "Malack is neutral" camp myself.
  • Neutral clerics can choose whether they get the good or evil bonuses, so he could still be neutral as he implied.
• Pretty heavily Jossed. He plans to take over Tarquin's empire after he dies and use it to provide mass sacrifices to his god.

Tarquin's wife isn't dead

Her body, or something resembling it, was found after she started investigating an epic level illusionist with whom she was emotionally invested.

• Jossed. She got zapped by Familicide.

Malack will have a Heel–Face Turn

Firstly, what we've seen implies that Malack is Lawful Neutral. If he has an overarching goal, it's stability, explaining why he supports Tarquin - but Tarquin working with Nale likely endangers the Gates, and thus the world's stability. Secondly, while Malack likely has a My Master, Right or Wrong attitude (being Lawful), Tarquin isn't Malack's only boss; he also answers to his god. Nergal is a member of the Eastern Pantheon and also implied to be Lawful Neutral, meaning that he is going to be opposed to anything that risks unleashing the Snarl. Three: Given the Troperiffic nature of the Elan/Tarquin conflict, there needs to be a Noble Top Enforcer type who betrays the Evil Overlord, and Malack fits the bill, especially considering the whole Nale aspect. Also, an unceremonious Cavalry Betrayal by Malack would be a perfect way of Tarquin not going out like a badass. Naturally, Malacks last words to his boss will be : `Nothing Personal, old friend. but this is business, Tarquin. Business.`

• Partially jossed now that we know Malack is Lawful Evil, but an Enemy Civil War and/or temporary Enemy Mine isn't impossible.
  • Especially since now we know his future plans. Xykon ending the world would get in the way of them.
    • Jossed, as Nale kills him for endangering his life and because he hated him.

Tarquin fully intended to get Malack killed

Tarquin's whole plot to become a villain worthy of legend is mutually exclusive with Malack's goal of creating a necrocracy. Tarquin's plot relies on being the Big Bad, and getting overthrown by a hero; When he's overthrown, there won't be an empire for Malack to inherit. If the Empire outlives Tarquin, he doesn't get Big Bad status. As he is supremely egocentric, he already planned to dispose of Malack to keep his designs running smoothly; at most, he'll be upset because it happened sooner than expected.

• Jossed, seeing as how he just killed Nale over it.
  • This doesn't actually Joss the theory, as Nale was killed only because he'd failed to demonstrate his usefulness to the rest of the group and then demanded that Tarquin withdraw his protection. The headline may be incorrect: Tarquin clearly didn't expect Malack to get killed right then, but the broader theory still holds.

Eventually, Xykon will reassign Tsukiko to his currently-empty harem.

Right after murdering her horribly. What better way to distance himself from those disgusting biophiliacs?

The trapdoor V fell through in strip 843 leads to Girard's gate.

And no, I don't have any evidence for this.

Tsukiko will end up controlling the Snarl

All by herself. Hey, she does have both arcane and divine magic, and she's studying the ritual. It might be that she'll find some way to simplify it to the point where a single caster can handle the duties.

Yukyuk will replace Belkar

Think about it. V and Yukyuk are stranded together in some exotic Plane. They will befriend and when they come back, V will "open up a position in our Short Dual-Wielding Murder department." Since Yukyuk is in bad terms with the Linear Guild, he will presumably accept.

Sabine and Tsukiko will fight over who gets to kill Haley.

Sabine has the whole "no one kills her but me!" obsession, while Tsukiko seems to have developed a rivalry with her during the Time Skip (Rebel Leader versus leader of the Elite Mooks, and all that). At some point, you gotta figure the Order, the Guild, and Team Evil are all going to end up in the same place and fight, which will lead to Sabine and Tsukiko both trying to kill Haley, which in turn will lead to them arguing over who gets to kill her (sort of like that Xykon copy and Kubota's assassin fighting over getting to kill Hinjo during The Siege).

• And then Crystal will show up out of nowhere just to complicate it further.
  • Jossed, by the fact that Tsukiko was just killed by Redcloak.

Redcloak will be the cleric that raises Roy.

In this strip, Belkar points out that Redcloak is probably high enough level to cast True Resurrection. He also knows Roy's dead and definitely has enough loot from the conquest of Azure City to pay the 20,000 GP in diamonds. And I kinda doubt that Roy would object to any raising at this point, which only leaves the question of what Redcloak's motive would be.

• Tying this together with both Belkar and Vaarsuuvius's remaining prophecies, V will make some sort of horrible deal with Redcloak where he will trade Belkar's life for a raised Roy and in the process somehow achieve ultimate magical power. His four words will therefore be (as indicated above): "Bring Roy back, Redcloak."
  • Sorta Jossed as of comic 581. They've got a different cleric lined up.
    • Jossed again as of 650, when Durkon starts up the Resurrection spell.

Roy will be raised as an intelligent undead.

Celia, in the latest strip, is going to a cleric who offers money for corpses. That usually means undead in DnD. Add in the fun of Roy's Sword sometimes hurting him...

• Maybe Julia will hold the sword for him.
• Jossed as of the latest strip; Roy is now a bone golem, which is neither technically undead nor technically Roy.
  • Roy still CAN be brought back. He just needs a true resurrection spell now, As that one doesn't require a body. (can Durkon perform that one yet?)
  • I really doubt it, true rez is a ninth level spell. That said, I don't think being a construct would prevent Durkon from using a normal rez on him.
    • Haley seems to think that if they have Roy's body, they won't need a seventeenth level cleric to bring him back. So, it seems a normal rez is good enough. Besides, if a normal rez can't bring back someone who was turned into a construct, then true rez can't either—both say in their descriptions that they can't resurrect constructs (but given that they also both say that they can't resurrect undead, but true rez can be used to bring back someone who was turned into an undead creature, then destroyed, they might both still be usable on someone who was turned into a construct, then destroyed).
    • In strip 578, Belkar is seen shaking one of Roy's boots as they escape the golems. A rattle is heard from within. It has been suggested that a toe bone or similar remains in the boot. And the spell resurrection requires only a small part of the body to work.
    • And the major, major point no-one has remembered: you DON'T need a cleric who can cast level 9 spells. All you need is a scroll and a cleric with Wis 19. Hell, Haley probably has ranks in Use Magic Device; SHE could cast it if a scroll could be found. (Of course, this kind of requires a scroll, but everyone appears to be so obsessive about finding a cleric of high enough level that this idea has completely fallen by the wayside. And since the cleric they found stated he did have a scroll...)

Roy is Killed Off for Real.

Self-explanatory. He's not coming back.

Vaarsuvius is divorced.

Despite claiming to be married, Vaarsuvius goes adventuring for months at a time and never makes any attempt to contact his or her spouse, even when imprisoned for a capital crime. He or she is also reluctant to discuss the marriage. Therefore, the couple have gone through an ugly divorce and broken off all contact.

• One needs to consider an elven perception of time. They are obscenely long-lived creatures at an average "retirement age" of 650 years (AD&D Elves don't die of old age, they just "go away"). So, regardless of how long it's been to the other party members, for Vaarsuvius it's the equivalent of a weekend camping trip. Not to mention, humans are amazed at a marriage that lasts 50 years; think how tired you would get of someone if you were together continually for 500 years. Long periods apart are also listed in the 2nd Ed. Elves Handbook as a way of rekindling an Elven couples love for one another.
• Based on the above, Vaarsuvius is female, and her ex-husband is Thief from 8-Bit Theater. She left him because he shunned her abilities as a caster to a "pocket universe" wherein she can develop her skills and prove to her husband she's actually useful. That explains why she gets so angry when she fails in her attempt to scry for Roy, her secrets and her bending morals. This is also why Thief refuses to speak about his wife, and often mocks Red and Black Mage for being "casters".
  • This would also explain why Vaarsuvius seems to get along so well with Haley compared to the rest of the party — she reminds her of dear, sweet Thief!
  • Or, as a counterpoint to the same, Thief stated in 8-Bit Theater that he gained his wife via coercion. It is unlikely that, were this Vaarsuvius, it would endear one to the other...
• This may be proved, as in the latest strip, a dragon mentions V's kids.
  • That only proves he has kids. Does not prove V's marital status.
    • May not even prove that. I originally read it as a Double Entendre. Of course, that was before...

Jossed.

• However, a few strips later, V lets slip his kids are adopted... I have no idea what this contributes, but it does exist.
  • Probably to avoid the issue of V's children using a gender specific parental epithet.
    • Vaarsuvius adopted Thief's kids!
• Note: This WMG is 'Varsuvius is divorced, not 'will get divorced'.

Vaarsuvius will refuse Qarr's offer to make a Face–Heel Turn.

Because s/he is Genre Savvy enough to know that evil doesn't pay, s/he will realize at the last moment that his/her recent actions have been misguided and come to his/her senses. S/he will thusly say the wrong four words to the right being, for the right reason. Those words will be "No, I will not."

• Considering that it's been about eight days since the showdown, which started here, which subsequently led to V's departure - either the demons has been pestering V for eight days and V has not given in, or V has accepted the offer off-screen, and this will be used in a reveal.
• He has so far, but there is a chance yet as of this strip.
  • This one appears to have been Jossed. And as Genre Savvy as V may be, I don't think V's going to be able to willingly give up this power now that V has it.

When the Soul Splice ends, V will die.

Notice that the IFCC never mentioned what happens when it ends.

Hold Portal is a Chekhov's Gun

If V goes through the door and uses Hold Portal he's safe... until he meets Tsukiko

• Hold Portal may still be a Chekhov's Gun, or (Chekhov's Skill depending on how you look at magic). V's recent paralysis from Strength poison has shown that V routinely prepares Feather Fall so that V has something to cast while unable to perform somatic components, so it's reasonable to assume that V prepares Suggestion and Hold Portal for the same reason. V has already had great success with Suggestion in such a state (against the young black dragon), so it seems likely that Hold Portal will have its day in the spotlight.

Vaarsuvius will take Qarr's offer and become a 4th edition Warlock.

He did say he'd be incorporating elements of 4th edition at his own disposal, and by doing it this way V doesn't become automatically evil.

• The right fourth words, eh?
• "Let's try fourth edition".

The necromancer will use Familicide on V's children.

She's a necromancer, and there must be some loophole she might grasp at to let her escape going back to hell, even if it means risking a few more minutes in the plane of the living. That huge hit of exp could affect only her, and not V, and since we don't really know how this works, it might be enough for her to make him do, in one instant, a single thing against his own nature.

• Can you even get XP when you're dead? And how would killing V's kids help her escape Hell?
  • Since Xykon and Redcloak were discussing the XP value of the good-aligned monsters...yeah, you get XP when you're dead. It's when you stop being dead you lose XP.
  • Sorry, V would have died from the familicide spell, which might have caused enough confusion combined with the EXP and any prepared spells for her to take over the body before being sent back. Moot point now.
    • Nope. Adopted children.
• I don't see why she'd want to Familicide on V, but the part of this about her escaping is confirmed.
• Alternately: She hitches a ride with someone else (Belkar?) until the original splice ends, then kills V and steals the body.
  • Or possibly possesses one of V's kids.

Vaarsuvius will kill hir family hirself after s/he's finished with the dragon.

One of the voices V hears says 'Destroy everyone who has ever slighted you.' While this does make Belkar a good future target of retribution, it does mean that if hir mate and/or children have a negative reaction to what Vaarsuvius has become (this is pretty much the ultimate "You're not the (wo)man I married!" situation), that makes them a prime, available, and immediate target— after all, wouldn't you be pissed if you sold your soul to rescue your family, only to have them throw it back in your face?

• What do you think Order of the Stick is, a DC Comic? ;)

Roy's spirit will have no choice but to take over Belkar's body

Eventually V. is going to Mind Rape Belkar into being a vegetable. At this point, Roy will have to possess Belkar's body in order to stop V. from wiping out the party. Following this, he will find a non-psycho arcanist (preferably a sorcerer) and arrange for a polymorph any object spell to give him back his Medium-sized frame. The only problem is how depressing this WMG is, unless Belkar is able to exploit some loophole and pull a Greenhilt as a spirit.

Something awesome involving fiends will happen exactly on Strip 666

Self-explanatory. Now start guessing over what it'll be, folks.

• I vote for the Splice ending and V blowing up somehow.
• I predict it happening 1-5 strips later, just so it isn't on 666. The drama will have built up to the point where the savvy amongst us expect something on 666.
  • It has, in fact, happened 13 strips before 666.
  • Jossed; no fiends, just a pleasant chat watching the sun set and a disembowelment threat.
    • But if not for the deaths of D&D co-creators Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, who each quite deservedly got memorial strips, 666 would've been entirely fiend-based.

Roy will die next strip

Because the next strip is 666 and something bad has got to happen then.

• If Roy dies again, I quit.
• Eh, no matter what happens, V is not likely to be pleased about Roy's use of his/her cape as cover-up.
• Jossed, fortunately.

Vaarsuvius will become a major bad guy, perhaps even the new Big Bad

Sure, the soul splice will end eventually, but it's not certain whether V can earn experience during the soul splice and whether it'll last after it's over. Now that V's killed the entire extended family of a dragon, s/he will probably rack up a lot of exp. I wouldn't be surprised if Vaarsuvius used the soul splice to go on a rampage, get a bunch of kills, and start leveling like crazy. Since V has ultimate cosmic power and all, s/he could quite easily wipe out entire armies just for exp. Furthermore, V already shows signs of thinking Evil Feels Good, so...

• A four-sided war between the Linear Guild, the reformed Order of the Stick, Xykon, and Evil V over Girard's Gate? Sign me up! Such a pity V's effective level is so high s/he doesn't technically get more than one or two points of XP for acts short of destroying planets.
• Well, we know there are more sides to the fight from here. (Roach's dialogue, 8th panel.) Even though at this point, it doesn't look like V will stage his/her own attempt to control the gates, there's definitely more going on than we know of.
• Jossed.

Vaarsuvius will successfully scry on Haley soon.

S/he's well above epic levels at this point. There's no question s/he could break through the Cloister spell.

The end of the strip will reveal that the whole thing was actually being played out in an actual game of D&D.

1. It's far from unheard of for a webcomic to pull a St. Elsewhere, especially one as self-aware as this one.
2. More specifically, Adventurers!, a spiritual cousin to OOTS, pulled a similar trick.
3. It would help explain some of the Genre Savviness of many of the characters and the presence of certain D&D-specific (or RPG-specific) tropes over the course of the strip.
4. Burlew is on record as saying he "already knows what the last panel of the last comic will be".

• Jossed, as Word of God is also on record that "there are no players" in OOTS.
  • Quite strange, if you consider that they're called explicitly "PCs", in contrast to NPCs. They'd be the first PCs without players.
    • I always assumed that the terminology they always use were just the physical laws of their universe. "PC" just refers a class designation of someone who can be roughly defined as an "adventurer"- and that most of the main characters themselves were not PC's until they started living the adventurers' life. The fact that their terminology corresponds exactly to Dungeons and Dragons rules is just a coincidence.
• Jossed quite recently in this strip.

The Monster in the Darkness will effect a Heel–Face Turn and break O-Chul out.

In the months since Azure City was conquered, O-Chul has become good friends with the MitD , and may yet convince the monster to turn against Xykon and Red Cloak at a critical moment. This will, if certain speculation about the MitD's identity is correct, lead to O-Chul riding a Tarasque as a mount as the two of them plow through the Hobgoblins to escape.

• This is very likely. Or at least The Monster helping the good guys somehow.
• Apparently, it had, though maybe not exactly a Heel–Face Turn. It's hard to define it as a "Heel", to start.
• Why is this even on the Jossed page? It's EXACTLY what happened.
• Probably because the monster didn't really do a Heel–Face Turn in the sense the OP meant. The Mit D didn't fight Xykon or Redcloak, nor "break O-Chul out". He just used, essentially, Teleport.

Belkar's guess about killing Xykon in five strips is spot on.

This is because Xykon is not the ultimate Big Bad; Vaarsuvius is. V fulfills the Oracle's off-the-record prophecy by killing Belkar, who is remembered as a hero because of his faked character growth. In the end, everybody dies but Haley and Elan, who gets his promised happy ending.

• Alternatively, V does kill him, but in the rush of power, V forgets to (or runs out of power before he can) dispose of the Phylactery.

Belkar will die on strip 654.

He predicted that they'll beat Xykon on that strip. Irony.

• Jossed. He wasn't even in that strip.

The souls within Vaarsuvius will betray him/her and Celia will replace him/her.

Now he's/she's gone off to face Xykon, in the confrontation the 'subcontractors' will destroy him/her from the inside, killing him/her, Celia will then replace V as an order member.

• I Read That As Celia finding herself in a Soul Splice. Which would be an interesting twist.
• Jossed, Celia's heading back home instead, thoroughly turned off to the Adventuring lifestyle.

Xykon's anti-teleport dome will (at least temporarily) strip V of any ability to use magic stronger than a cantrip, if that.

V's not thinking, so as to defeat Xykon as quickly as possible. Were V to teleport just outside Azure city and walk in, it would be possible to wipe out the dome from the inside and/or simply flatten the castle, Xykon, and destroy the phylactery with the right destruction spell. As V is relying on the ultimate arcane power instead of the intellect and wisdom stats that were so important a hundred strips ago, it would be the ultimate in irony, especially if the powers are transferred, even weakened, to Xykon for the duration of the effect. Really, Xykon does seem like exactly the sort of person who would weave a power blocker into his already personalized spell dome simply to have the pleasure of unsuspecting teleporters falling hundreds of feet to their deaths for his own entertainment and convenience.

Vaarsuvius will use his Deal with the Devil as an opportunity to bring Roy to Durkon

S/he'll use her greater wizarding abilities to find out where Roy's corpse is and get it back, and use Qarr's teleportation ability to bring Roy's corpse to Durkon. Besides, he needs to be raised already.

• V. doesn't need to. S/he knows Wish. S/he now has enough caster levels to perform epic spells. S/he can presumably use some kind of epic Wish variant to bring Roy back without needing to even think about Durkon.
  • What part of "you won't be able to duplicate any divine magic, not even with a Wish or Limited Wish" don't you understand? He can't use Clone without a piece of Roy's flesh, and Major Creation specifically forbids using created objects as spell components.
    • Oops. On the other hand, we already know the fiends were fibbing about the alignment feedback. How do we know they were on the up-and-up about anything else? It may be that you're entirely free to duplicate divine spells, but for some reason V. doing so would screw up the plan, so they tell hir it isn't going to work in order to prevent hir from trying it. After all, fiends being trustworthy doesn't seem to logically fit.

After V goes evil, Qarr will become his Morality Pet, ironically.

V is going to need someone to exposit and talk to if he's going his own way as Chaotic Evil. Qarr is right there, and he ironically seems pretty frightened of any real evil.

The fiends will fuse V's soul with someone else when they have control of it.

It's hard to see what good possessing V's soul for a few weeks is to the fiends, and the reasons they give for the deal aren't convincing. But we've already found out one thing they can do with access to souls - fuse them temporarily to living people to increase their magic power. This would work perfectly well with V's soul, and he or she certainly has the power to make it worthwhile.

Vaarsuvius And the Evil Souls Will Eventually Combine Into A Single Entity

We already know that s/he can hear their voices and has one of their common urges, so it isn't a stretch to say that what the IFCC neglected to mention is that once V's hold on them ends, s/he'll lose control and they'll take him/her over.

• Not entirely Jossed, but severely weakened by this strip: V losing control leads to a soul escaping.

Either Durkon or Redcloak will remove the Mark of Justice from Belkar.

Redcloak might for the reasons listed above. The only reason I'm putting Durkon here is that we know he could do it. (All you need to remove a Mark of Justice is Remove Curse at a caster level equal to or higher the Mark of Justice's caster level. Which Durkon probably is, even though I'm not absolutely sure because we don't know who cast the Mark of Justice.)

• Jossed. Removing a Mark of Justice curse requires a particular password that neither know and the cleric of Loki ended up removing it

Xykon's pounding of V is going to be shortlived.

Because the Order of the Stick is going to perform a Big Damn Heroes (somehow) and remind the audience just why the strip is about them and not Xykon. Xykon won't have to worry about V anymore because he will have the much more pressing matter of a resurrected Ray Whathisname leading the Order of the Stick to perform an ass-kicking upon his bony ass. It would also fit with the recent theme of "The Order gets more things done then V, even with his/her/its new power."

• Alternatively, this is where O-Chul finally gets through to the Monster in the Darkness, and they bail V out. Later Edit: Looks like...
  • I am actually leaning towards the idea that O-Chul is going to head on by himself, and make a Heroic Sacrifice, buying V time to escape. Because "Doing your duty" can never end well...

V's prophecy hasn't been fulfilled yet.

Vaarsuvius must say the right four words ("I must succeed" is three, dammit) to the right being (singular) for the wrong reasons. (I'd say that saving his/her family is a pretty damn good reason)

• S/He says "I" twice, the "being" s/he's talking to is hirself, and the wrong reason isn't because of hir family, it's because s/he'd rather sell hir soul for power than admit that s/he was wrong.
• We know the prophecy has been fulfilled because there's a twist. Roy, Haley and Belkar's prophecies were all wrong... at first.
  • Or it could be that there isn't a twist, and the title "The Wrong Reasons" was there as a fake-out because it's yet to genuinely come true. After all, "prophecy fulfilled with a twist" needs a good solid subverting.
    • So, let's examine the evidence FOR: we have the four words(I.. I must succeed), we have the wrong reasons(arrogance), we have the right being(himself). We have him getting the power of three epic spellcasters, which "when combined would dwarf the power of any spellcaster that ever lived"(not exact quote). That's very much ultimate, just because the power was misused does not mean it's not ultimate. We have the strip titled "The Wrong Reasons". Let's examine the evidence AGAINST:... Uhm... A twist needs a good solid subverting? Rich likes to subvert tropes? Seems shaky at best.
    • How about the fact that Xykon pointed out that the Soul Splice wasn't really all that ultimate, especially since it wasn't so much V gaining power as it was his/her/its temporarily gaining the ability to draw on the power of three epic-level spellcasters. The wording of the question implies that the power would truly be V's—"how will I obtain", not "how will I gain access to". Also, that wasn't four words; it was three words, one of which was stammered.
    • Look, if you have a basket with two red apples, one green apple and one yellow apple then how many apples do you have in the basket? FOUR. If you have two "I"'s in a sentence, one "must" and one "succeed" then you have FOUR words in a sentence. The power of the souls individually wasn't ultimate, but when combined "would dwarf that of any spellcaster that ever lived". And there was nothing in V's question about obtaining the power permanently, nor does 'obtain' imply by itself that what you gain is permanent, check a dictionary. In short, there's no compelling evidence whatsoever that V's prophecy might not be fulfilled yet.
    • It is 4 words, but it's 3 unique words. Since the English language is somewhat ambiguous when referring to unique or non-unique parts (4 words can mean either just 4 words, or 4 unique words, both are valid interpretations) it's still questionable.
    • Note, also, the wording "every spellcaster who has ever lived." Xykon is most emphatically not alive, and neither is any other undead spellcaster. It is entirely in character for beings as manipulative as the Three Archfiends have shown themselves to be to use misleading-but-true phrasing to get what they want out of V. It's possible that even before the loss of the first soul, the Soul Splice would have made V more powerful than Xykon as he was when he was still human, but not as he is now, when he's been an undead epic spellcaster for years. The term also does not imply "ultimate power"; it merely means that V has, however temporarily, surpassed all previous living spellcasters. There's nothing preventing someone else from surpassing V in turn. "Ultimate" implies going beyond the point where anyone can surpass you. Check a dictionary. Also, if you're going to persist in refuting this theory, take it to the Discussion page.
    • I've always assumed that V had Ultimate Arcane Power until Haerta left. And I'd like to point out that while Xykon is dead now, he didn't used to be. He "has ever lived", and therefore likely was not as powerful as triple-soul spliced V.
• Gonna add a corollary to this: It hasn't been fulfilled in order to have the twist. Now that V thinks he has fulfilled the prophecy he is going to walk right into the real one. With all the foreshadowing of a future fall for V it begs that the splicing incident was a red herring. Any other comic, any other story, the splicing would have qualified. OotS dines on tropes and washes down stale cliches with glasses of uberness. This is too "normal" for OotS.
• Jossed by Word of God in Don't Split the Party's author commentary.

Building on the WMG that Tyrinar the Bloody is Nale's and Elan's father, and Tyrinaria no longer exists...

Nale approaches the Order with a sob story about how Daddy's empire has crumbled, and he'll be good if Elan and the rest help him avenge it. Haley's/Ian Starshine's "trust no one but family" reference (what family is closer than a twin?) will get them exactly as far as finding out who Nale's father really is.

• Jossed by Tarquin's decidedly non-Tyrinarish backstory.

Tyrinar is Tarquin's last name.

Tarquin Tyrinar. It even sounds cool.

Elan and Nale are half-brothers.

A Wizard Did It (or, to go for the possibly-inaccurate pun, A Wizard Did Your Mom).

• Jossed, here (first panel) in conjunction with here (last panel).

Elan will use the tiny bolt of lightning which Banjo uses to smite heretics to break Roy's amulet

I only just realized that Elan can shoot small lightning bolts, and Roy has an amulet that, when broken, summons his girlfriend, which can only be broken with an electrical shock. That is going to be a really big Brick Joke, when it finally reappears.

• Except that amulet was already broken, and we don't have any indication that she gave him a new one. And if she did, it would probably be one she'd know he can break.

Nale is a "Well Done, Son" Guy.

We know that his father is Lawful Evil and so is he. He seems to be trying way too hard to be a Troperiffic villain for ill-defined reasons. This makes more sense if he's trying to live up to the impossible standards of a true Magnificent Bastard. It also makes sense with his grudge against Elan - if he can't even beat the halfwit good twin, his dad will be wishing he'd left them both with their mother.

Because no one denies me, Elan. Not father, not you, no one.

• Jossed.

The separated members of the Order Of The Stick will assemble a Five-Man Band each (plus maybe a Sixth Ranger) in the style of the original Order.

This theory made more sense to me before The death of Therkla, but it could still be worth considering.

• V, Durkon and Elan already have Hinjo or another Paladin as a replacement for Roy, the tank. Therkla could replace Haley but that's been Jossed, not sure who'd take the place of Belkar yet.
• If Celia manages to get the hang of actually using her magical powers, she could take the place of V, and we might possible even end up with Hilgya replacing Durkon. Not sure who the others will be played by, and whether or not Belkar recovers.
• The cleric of Loki has certainly gotten onto Belkar's good side, it looks like, so I'd count him in as a future member.
• And with Belkar's recovery, he pretty much fills Roy's tanking role. We've got a workable team already! (well okay, one Technical Pacifist caster, but they can work around that)
• Dear god, no! Frankly, I hope to see Celia Stuffed In A Fridge at some point. I mean, her relationship with Roy just came out of freakin' nowhere, and she's annoying, to boot.
• The Linear Guild are bound to be amused either way.

One (or both!) of V's children is a sorcerer.

So they'll kill the dragon. And not be hurt. Because they're cute. And I don't want them to die! And... (Goes off on tangent about crappy week, ending with "...And that's why no one should die, ever!")

• Even if one of them was a sorcerer, a level one sorcerer can't kill an ancient black dragon. Might be able to escape though.
• "My sibling and one of my parents died at the claws of a black dragon seeking vengeance against my powerful but distant adventurer other parent and I narrowly survived due to the timely manifestation of my sorcerous abilities" is a back-story if ever there was one.
  • ...and all I got was this lousy T-shirt?
  • No, all I got was this lightning-bolt scar.
  • Putting this in Jossed, since the kids didn't use any sorcery against the dragon.

Vaarsuvius will kill Belkar

After the Soul Splice, V now has an Epic Level Necromancer whispering that (s)he should kill everyone who's slighted him/her◊. Depending on how well V can resist that compulsion, the next time (s)he meets up with Belkar and Belkar gets annoying, V may not be able to resist dropping some epic level necromancy spell that kills Belkar stone dead, no resurrection allowed.

• I very much hope so.
• Putting this in Jossed, since he didn't kill Belkar while under the Soul Splice.

Therkla the Ninja is Right-Eye's hidden daughter.

Right-Eye's daughter (name unknown) was smuggled away to unknown foster-parents between 6 months and 3 years before the Current Events began. Therkla is some kind of either monster or half-monster who is backed by (possibly) demons. Bam!
Okay, the main impetus for this theory is backed by how awesome it would be for Right-Eye's daughter, niece to xenophobic Redcloak (who has issues regarding his brother's get, to say the least), to have the hots for humans — possibly because of her cultural isolation amongst the humans.
...but I have support!

• Class: Right-Eye was a deadly rogue, and it would only be natural for that same blood to flow through his daughter's veins.
• Tropes: Rich has been working in his extra books this arc, and some more Start Of Darkness references would be apropos.
• Racial: Therkla is a greenskin, and while she has the skin-tone of a half-orc...
• Age: Right-Eye's daughter would be of age — in three years, she could have hit puberty.
• Awesomeness: Such an outcome would clearly be covered by the Rule of Cool.
  • Unfortunately, this theory, along with many others, has been Jossed as of #509. An even more thorough Jossing appears on #555.
    • Even so, I'd expect Right-Eye's daughter to put in an appearance at some stage. Perhaps her having been raised lovingly by adoptive human parents will lead Redcloak to rethink his belief that Humans Are Bastards and do a Heel–Face Turn on Xykon.

The girl Belkar is sleeping with is Sabine

Sabine has stated that she's an incarnation of illicit sex. And they look alike. And that seems like something the Linear Guild would do.

• The girl Belkar's sleeping with is the bard that accompanied the rest of the Guild to kill Haley and the cleric of Loki. Who, we might point out, was both completely outclassed in battle by, and very taken with, Belkar during their battle, which doesn't really sound like Sabine at all.
• She also appeared in the prequel book On the Origin of PCs, and is shown to be a friend of Haley's a good 8 months before the OotS and the Linear Guild ever even met.
  • Her name is Jenny, by the way! Just in case... you know...
• Seems to be Jossed, so . . .

Xykon is perfectly aware of the Monster in the Darkness's growing friendship with O-chul, and has charmed the Monster in the Darkness so that he'll eat O-chul before they leave the city

• Because it just seems like the sort of dickish thing Xykon would do for kicks, and it would nip the Monster in the Darkness's Heel–Face Turn in the bud if the charm also caused him to forget O-chul ever existed.
  • Or even better plotwise (and slightly less depressingly) the spell would not make the Monster forget about O-Chul and cause the Heel–Face Turn.
  • Judging by the "escape" spell, this seems to be Jossed.

The Cartographer in this comic was about to say "Starshinia".

Ian Starshine deposed Lord Tyrinar and is now ruling the country. And um...couldn't get a sending spell out to his daughter about this. Never mind! Point is, DRAMA.

• There's an easy way around that. The only caster of a high enough level to cast a 5th (4th for cleric) level spell bared evocation (Hey, don't ask me why the spell is in the school that focuses on "the elements" instead of the one based around "infromation") and there are no clerics at 7th level (the resitance can't manage a 5th level cleric).
• Jossed.

The Monster in the Darkness is a hole in space.

The guys in Start of Darkness just didn't expect a sentient rift to be in the middle of the jungle.

• No, it's a member of a species (it's recognized as being "one of these), and Word of God has said that it's an actual creature, not something he made up.

The Creature In The Darkness Is The Bonus Boss Of A JRPG.

• Think about it: Insanely overpowered, able to perform attacks that should be impossible in a D and D universe, and unlike every other creature in the Order Of The Stick universe, HE HAS NO IDEA HOW THINGS ACTUALLY WORK!!! Every other creature, even admittedly idiotic ones, possess full awareness of the abilities of both themselves and others. The Creature In The Darkness does not, because he's not from this universe, but instead he is a creature that came from a universe that operates on a completely different set of rules. And which Optional Boss? Choko actually seems kinda likely.

V's Master is also his/her mother/father

Just because that looks like an aged V to me.

• Jossed in the Prequel book. V's parents were rangers, and V's master was a family friend.
  • Alternately, V's master is also his/her real mother/father. (Possibly both, as this is WMG.)

V's prophecy hasn't come true yet.

The exact wording is that Vaarsuvius will achieve complete and total ultimate arcane power, quote, "By saying the right four words to the right being at the right time for all the wrong reasons." The problem is that none of these conditions were met. V said "I... I must succeed," which isn't four words (it's three, with a stammer). V says it to three beings, not one being. It wasn't the right "time"—time was frozen during the bargaining session, so there was no "time" at all. And V doesn't do it for all the wrong reasons: V's children and spouse were under threat of being murdered in an inordinately gruesome fashion—pride was a reason to do it, but not all of them. In fact, Vaarsuvius didn't even achieve "complete and total ultimate arcane power." As Xykon noted, V only acquired the power of three magicians who were too weak to stay in the game, and thus, not ultimate; the Soul Splice was fairly easily broken, and thus, not complete.

• Except that "I(1)...I(2) must(3) succeed(4)" is 4 words. Count them again. And V didn't say them to the Three Fiends, he said them to himself in an attempt to justify his Deal with the Devil when given a hypothetical alternative solution (that it would not have actually worked out for him is irrelevant; he didn't know that at the time). This makes it "for the wrong reason"—V wanted to prove that pure arcane power could solve any problem, and the one fiend specifically calls him on this by pointing out that it would mean he was wrong. V did it out of pride—the wrong reason. The right time was just as the Time Stop was fading, and he had little choice to think of an alternate plan (or, to think through the proffered plan). V received "ultimate arcane power" and lost it. Xykon even calls him on this, pointing out that all his power is for naught as it is still "shackled to your lame mid-level ass." There is no question that the terms of the prophecy have been met.
• Stammers are indicated by a hyphen, not dots. The four words are written "I... I must succeed", not "I-I must succeed".
• Wrong. Rich confirmed that the prophecy has been fulfilled.

V's prophecy hasn't been fulfilled yet. In the future, it will be fulfilled by...

• V becoming a Green Sun Prince. Yes, I realize that this would involve a massive crossover (probably with Keychain of Creation), but think about it: A Green Sun Prince exalts after an interview with a demon, who makes contact with them after they fail to fulfill a heroic destiny on their own terms. And, well...look at the White Treatise's Solar Circle spell list, or even the Infernal Charm list—if that's not "complete and total arcane power" by D&D standards, I don't know what is. V has already demonstrated some serious character flaws, as well as a willingness to go through with Faustian bargains under the right circumstances, so as long as his/her/its acceptance is exactly four words long (and none of this "three words and a stammer" nonsense), all the conditions of the prophecy have been fulfilled. Clearly, V is going to become a Defiler. Or if he isn't, someone should write fanfic about it.
  • Wrong. Rich has said that the prophecy was fulfilled with the Soul Splice.

We will eventually see Elan's half-sister Lena and half-brother Alen.

Well, we know his dad's been married at least nine times, so it wouldn't be surprising if he has more kids (and used the same letters of alphabet for all of them).

• And Neal, Lean, Anel and Nela too.
  • And Lane.
  • Say, maybe the letters differ slightly depending on who the mother was. Lien doesn't have any physical traits that are clearly similar to Elan's, but this being a stick figure comic we can't rule it out yet.
    • Possibly jossed. Although he might be lying about it and (more likely) his motivations for doing so, Tarquin claims that he was so disappointed in how Nale turned out, he's avoided having children then. So, any other siblings would have to have been born prior to Elan and Nale.

Haley is going to be the one to fight Roy

Tarquin could declare her the champion simply for the drama it would inspire, even without knowing they're both friends of Roy. If Haley dies, Elan can make an oath to avenge her death after Tarquin lets Roy go free to run away and Elan chase after him. If Haley wins, it gives Elan more motivation to hate Tarquin and also adds drama to the Haley/Elan relationship because she just killed a man and Tarquin knows Elan hates senseless death. If they reveal Roy is in their team, he'll just insist on it even harder because of the thrill of forcing two friends to fight, knowing that if they don't the other is going to die in a hail of arrows anyway.

The Champion is...

A Monster in the Dark. Because it would be awesome.

• Jossed. It's Thog.

The Monster In Darkness is an aspect of The Snarl.

For reasons known to almost everyone here: it cannot perceive the gates, as the Snarl could be expected not to perceive its prison, it is insanely powerful, as the Snarl surely is, and it seems to have no particular motivation or intellect, as the Snarl is more a primal force than an actual entity.

• This actually helps explain why Burlew let slip that one of the gates opened before the story began — why wouldn't he just have had four gates in the first place, unless the already-destroyed one was a Chekhov's Gun? Clearly, Xykon and Redcloak obtained the partial services of the Snarl when they knocked down their first gate. This also helps explain why Xykon hasn't unleashed the Monster yet — he'd prefer to have the whole thing.
• This may have been Jossed in Start Of Darkness: the Monster in the dark was about a while before the incident with the gate. That an aspect of Snarl existed before some other way is possible. As well, the Monster serves as The Watson to the explanation of Xykon's plot in #195-6, sitting through the gate's destruction before learning what's going on.
• Alternatively, the Monster in the Dark is an aspect of the Snarl left out in the original sealing. It's in darkness because the tanglyness would give it away, and it can't see the gates because they're constructs of order — the Snarl couldn't see the prison around it when it was being made.
  • This may be disproved by Start of Darkness: In that book, there are people who see the Monster, and they recognize what he is (although they never say what exactly he is). If the Monster was a part of the Snarl, most people wouldn't have any idea what he was.
• Jossed: he was recognized by his captors, and by Word of God he isn't something Rich has made up for the comic.

Lord Tyrinar is the Man Behind The Lich.

Xykon became involved with the Snarl stuff thanks to an opening move by Tyrinar. Haley's story would be kind of anticlimactic if she just got the gold and had him released, and most of the possible plotlines would really detract from the main plot from here on (or he could have just taken control of one of the gates, but that doesn't support the theory). If Elan and Nale's father is Tyrinar, it would be a thread connecting more characters than Xykon and Redcloak (bonus points to the "string" theory if Belkar started out as a spy after Vaarsivius' mis-scribed spell was caused as part of Tyrinar's Gambit Roulette).

• Xykon really doesn't seem like the type to let some warlord have any kind of authority over him. Now Tyrinar as a secondary villain or the new primary one... that seems much more likely. And awesome.
• Jossed. Tyrinar was just a figurehead ruler who got "his" kingdom by Elan and Nale's father: Tarquin. And most likely he won't appear anymore, he was eaten by the Empress of Blood.

The Elven Ambassador is Varsuvius's Mate's new Lover.

Mysterious Elf who can be seen glaring at V on at least two occasions? Great opportunity to continue the Humiliation Conga V's personal life has been turning into lately.

• Jossed. It was Zz'dtri.

The Empress of Blood isn't.

Not only is she a puppet for Malachar, as Haley thought, but also a metaphorical and almost literal lapdog for the real Empress of Blood. She just likes acting Empress-y when the Epic Spellcaster is out.

• Alternately: The character shown is a literal lapdog. The Empress is slightly more unfortunate than the throne.
• Jossed. He is just Tarquin's puppet, there is no real Empress of Blood.

Tyrinar is a stage name.

No reason...

Kraagor is the Order of the Scribble's Ambiguous Gender Member.

Kraagor has a braided beard and no Dwarven Phonetic Accent, at least based off of his/her one line in This strip. The last Dwarf we saw without an accent was Hilgya Firehelm. Start Of Darkness also establishes during the freakshow scene that female dwarves have beards. And yes, Lord Shojo used a male pronoun to describe him, but he's just guessing at Kraagor's Gender, like people do unsuccessfully with V's.

• Jossed by Start of Darkness - in a flashback scene, Kraagor utters the line "Raging makes Kraagor a thirsty boy."

Tarquin worked for Tyrinar.

The political situation is so extremely unstable that he might have once worked for Tyrinar before ditching him for the Blood Empress. Haley's dad may be rotting in one of Tarquin's dungeons, and no one bothered to update Haley that Tyrinar has been deposed.

• Jossed. Tyrinar was just a figurehead and the Empress is the new one.

Haley's father will be rescued as such:

Hayley amasses, with the help of the rest of the Order once they find out, the necessary 200 000 gp. Tyrinar's chancellor said in the letter that he "might" be willing to "consider" releasing him, not that he will. Thus, even with the gold he'll keep her father captive. Exploiting the "period not to exceed the span of his natural life", the order will kill him remotely, nick the body (either from the garbage or the guards on the way to the crematorium), resurrect him (possibly in a similar way to Roy- Vaarsuvius?), and get the gold back (through either spite or Elan recognizing Lord Tyrinar as his father and executing him).

• Jossed as A: Haley has no intention to pay anymore, B: Roy is supposed to break up from prison with him, C: Tyrinar is dead and he isn't Elan's dad.

The Monster's father was 682.

The Monster in the Darkness does mention that his father was "BIG, and he ate a lot". Evidently the hatred for all things living doesn't run in the family. Alternately, or possibly on top of that, it might be 231's [Data Expunged]; it's either one of the early less-harmful test runs, or it just takes a few decades or centuries to get to the point of being evil and powerful enough to end the world.

• Jossed. Word of God says the MitD is something from D&D.

Tarquin's fiancee/girlfriend is Sabine

Think about it. Nale already managed to plant Thog AND Zz'dtri into the Western Continent. What better way to further one-up his dad that planting Sabine as a suitor? Alternatively, Sabine broke up with Nale and was ordered by the fiends to go to the western continent, where she ended up hooking up with Tarquin.

• They have now been seen in the same frame.

The Monster in the Darkness is a Deus ex Machina.

Given the trope's inherent nature, it fits in every single way. Super strength, powers of teleportation, access to hello kitty umbrellas, all are powers of a Deus ex Machina. The Monster in the Darkness is the trope physically personified.

• Well, I was going to guess the MitD was a newborn god, but both could work. Indeed, the MitD could be a god in-universe doing double duty as a Deus ex Machina.
  • To fuse these two interpretations and add a horrible pun: the MitD's race is originally from Mechanus.
    • This makes a lot of sense going all the way back to its' discovery in Start of Darkness. The explorers and later the people at the circus were shocked to see it "here" meaning shocked to see a Deus ex Machina halfway through a prequel book.
    • It's a Monster in the Darkness, not a Trope in the Darkness. It's a creature that will be revealed (Word of God says so), and a Deus ex Machina has no physical appearance, so this is Jossed.

The Order knows about Blackwing

Blackwing simply spoke with the others ahead of time to mess with V's head and teach hir a lesson.

• Judging by the reaction the comic in question engendered as is, I think there would be a revolt if this were to be revealed.
  • In strip 809 Roy says "That bird. I think it's the one that's been on V's shoulder these past two weeks". Jossed.
    • Not entirely Jossed. Haley admitted (to Blackwing) that she was just busting V's chops. The rest probably weren't, though, and we know from that same page that Elan wasn't.

No one can remember Blackwing anymore

Something happened to Blackwing when he got too close to the Snarl. It made him become somehow unstuck from the world of The Order of the Stick; no one but V remembers him now and anyone who sees him will forget about him quickly. In this respect everyone will treat Blackwing in the same fashion as the Monster in the Darkness treats the Gates.

• In strip 809 Roy says "That bird. I think it's the one that's been on V's shoulder these past two weeks". Jossed.

The Cartographer in this comic was about to say "Naleria", or some other derivative of Nale, before she was interrupted.

Last we saw of Nale, he was heading to off to find one of the other gates, and if the above WMGs about Lord Tyrinar being his father are correct, what better place to start than where he has familial connections?

The fact that his dad is holding Haley's father hostage would just be icing on the cake, and give him something else to use against Elan.

• Jossed.

The Monster in the Darkness is related to the Snarl.

He is either some kind of larval form which escaped through the rifts before the Gates were formed, a shard which was cut off by the Gates and became independent, or a deliberately created avatar. This would explain his immense power, his insatiable hunger, his references to having not been born in the rainforest but only ever remembering living there, his reference to his "dad", whom he claims was much bigger than him and ate a lot more than he did, the fact that he is apparently horrifying to look upon, and the fact that Redcloak and Xykon both seem to know what he is and how powerful it makes him, as well as their desire to conceal him (O-Chul may have guessed, which would explain his commitment to convincing the Monster that he can be good). It would also explain why he apparently cannot perceive or remember the Gates; they were specifically made to confine the Snarl, so the much smaller and weaker form of the Snarl cannot even tell that they are there.

• Word of God says that it isn't something Rich made up for the comic. The snarl is made up for the comic. Jossed.

The Monster In The Darkness is...

...some kind of dragon? D&D dragons are natural arcane spellcasters after all.

• oooh... Tiamat is going to be mad at Xykon for that.
  • A dragon is quite recognizable, so the scene in the circus would fail (they call him "it"). A dragon talking in common isn't that surprising. The powers required for all he did in the comic this far are only available when a dragon is bigger than the box and the umbrella. So pretty much Jossed.

The Monster In The Darkness is the remains/rebirth/resurection of what is left of the Greek/Eastern Pantheon

Whatever happend to their remains? Yes, they are divine, but something should have remained. We don't know anything about the Monster, so who says it has to be one thing? It could be a gesalt entity. And his memory/naievety can be written off by that fact too.

• Word of God says it's not something Rich made up for the comic, and that it can be guessed. This makes the WMG Jossed.

The Monster in the Darkness is a MacGuffin.

Xykon picked it up a while back because... that's what you do with a MacGuffin. It's exactly as powerful as it needs to be, exactly as trusting as it needs to be, and exactly as visible as it needs to be for the right people to acquire it and the audience to never find out what, in-universe, it is. The heroes just haven't picked up on that particular plot thread yet. See also the Deus ex Machina guess above.

• Since, by Word of God, it is a guessable creature, this is Jossed.

The Monster In The Darkness isn't hidden in the shadows. It is the shadows

• It's the Vashta Nerada! It fears the light, it's virtually unstoppable, and most of all it's only shown attack is to eat people.
  • You mean, Belkar attacked the darkness? And by the way, it doesn't fear the light. It keeps trying to get lit up.
    • That's because it's been pretending to be vulnerable and harmless. It's been planing everything from behind the scenes, by animating a skeleton and passing it off as a lich king.
    • Except Vashta Nerada are microorganisms, like bacterias, and the Monster is only one creature. So Jossed.

The Creature In The Darkness Is At least a Semi-Humanoid Female Monster.

• Let's see, there's the very girly umbrella it has during the siege on Azure City, the fact that it has no problem with hitting ladies (the "who can hit the softest" contest should be an indicator), the fact that it enjoys tea parties, and the fact that it is a lot more docile than a male creature would be (males tend to be a lot more aggressive, even while they are young, like The Creature In The Darkness seems to be). But why would everyone refer to it as male? Because no one would care about the gender of a monster, as it would matter about as much to most people about as much as it would the breeding patterns of slugs on a continent that you had never visited before in your life and never will. Others just refer to The Creature In The Shadows using male pronouns for convenience. And since The Creature In The Darkness has no idea what it really is, he just assumes he's male like everyone else (the only other one of it's kind that it's encountered is it's father, but it wouldn't be able to tell the difference between itself and it's father meant male or female unless it met a female of it's kind). Given this evidence, there is a strong possibility that "Monster-san" is in reality a "Monster-chan"
  • And why a humanoid? EASY: First off, there's the fact that it's holding the umbrella over itself, so unless someone's been duck taping that umbrella to it's back, that implies that it's at least got arms of some sort.
  • But it won't let girls join its secret club.
    • Knowing that monster's usual level of intelligence, it does not seem far-fetched that it might not understand what gender is, "under the hood", meaning it would be incapable of knowing it's own gender.

It is Xykon scrying on the supposed location of Girard's Gate in comic #698.

We know in recent comics that Xykon has left Azure City/Gobbotopia on a personal quest, one he didn't see fit to tell Redcloak about. Since Redcloak has (accidentally) destroyed one of the Gates in the past, it makes sense that Xykon wouldn't trust him not to make the same mistake twice. Secondly, Redcloak failed to glean any useful information about Girard's gate from O-Chul while he was their captive, which would give Xykon more motivation to take matters into his own bony hands.

• Jossed. It was Nale and the Linear Guild.

Mr. Scruffy will help defeat Thog

In the Latest Strip, Scruffy gets a belt of giant strength and is able to launch a 150 pound riding dog out of a window. He obviously now has a high strength score, and will want to finish off Sir Scraggly. To do this, he will have to jump down into the arena, where Thog will be beating Roy up. Thog may notice that there is a cat there, and in Thog's rage, he'll also blame it on the cat, which will give Roy time to mount a counterattack.

• Jossed. Roy singlehandedly defeated Thog with his cross class-skill ranks in Knowledge (Architecture and Engineering).

Thog is an alternate universe version of Deadpool.

Think about it. If Deadpool was a little bit more retarded, green, and used an axe, or if Thog were just a bit smarter, wore red, and used guns and a katana.....

• Or Thog could be a character Deadpool was roleplaying in a game of D&D.

Belkar's halfling skill with thrown rocks will turn out to be a Chekhov's Gun

Currently, Belkar is lying in the prison with armor but no weapons, his cat is coming running, being chased by a big dog and a kobold with crossbows akimbo. Belkar will throw a rock at Yukyuk, tear a hole in reality, and then the entire Linear Guild will be destroyed by the Snarl. (Or something like that)

Haley is directly related to Girard

She notes that Orrin Draketooth is paranoid just like her father, and it is not inconceivable that he WAS Orrin. The redhair thing seems too convenient.

• Okay, here's the comic in question: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0816.html

Let's go down the list. Haley and Ian have distinctly red hair...just like Orrin and his daughter. Orrin ran away with his daughter, and Haley's mother is missing, possibly dead. In the comic, Ian's paranoid nature is compared to Girard and Orrin's. Every time we've seen Ian, he has a bushy beard covering his face, the same spot that Orrin has an extremely distinct tattoo. The only wrinkle is that we see Haley's mother in one panel...but it could easily be Ian/Orrin's second wife.

• Actually, Rich went onto the discussion and said that the girl and Orrin were NOT Haley and Ian. However, that does not mean that Orrin isn't actually like... a cousin of Ian's. Just saying your details are jossed, not the big picture.
• And now it looks like Vaarsuvius accidentally killed off the entire Draketooth bloodline.

The Elven Commander will cross the Moral Event Horizon at some point in this arc.

Considering how he was introduced, things can only get worse from here...and as someone once pointed out, it's not a good thing if you're going to have to lie to the Paladin about your actions. I'm guessing it will involve those Goblinoid women and children that Redcloak mentioned a few strips ago.

• This will also make him the new Miko on the Order of the Stick forums, with the fandom divided over whether he went too far or not far enough.
• Jossed as of his death at the hands of Redcloak.

When Durkon dies, his last thoughts will be of Hilgya.

• Hilgya hasn't been mentioned since she disappeared, and the entire experience with her, while very brief, clearly disturbed him a great deal, to the point where all of the other characters have shared their hidden secrets and pasts with the rest of the party, Durkon has still not told them what happened between him and Hilgya that we know of. Most of the other characters have gone through plot developments that have changed them significantly, except Durkon who's whole character is that he's the steadfast reliable dwarven Cleric of Thor. This is because unlike all the other characters he got his initial development early on: he found someone he cared about more then his duty to his deity and his people, as evidenced by the tear he shed when leaving Hilgya behind.
  • Jossed, as his last thoughts were about returning home.

---

V will kill Girard

At the behest of the IFCC. He will teleport in, explain to them that he's got everything under control, Xykon will never find his gate ("Not while I'm alive!") and that they can just all go on their merry way, and right before he leaves, "Disintegrate." Cue V standing around with a blank look in his eyes for the next five minutes while the Order tries to knock some common sense into him, followed by him pretending that he has no idea what's happening.

• Except the IFCC will get his soul, not his body. Plus, the Order wouldn't just "go on their merry way" just because Girard made a boast.
  • Except the IFCC grafted three souls onto V and he got to completely control their actions. "Having control of someone's soul" seems to equal "complete domination" in this comic. Additionally, I didn't suggest that the Order would actually go away, just that Girard would tell them to shortly before getting ganked.
  • He got to use their powers, not control their actions. Also, the agreement stated they'd get V's soul after his death anyway.
  • He did get to control their action, just not their thoughts.

V: And my soul will remain in complete control of this gestalt entity for the entire duration?

1st Fiend: Oh, definitely.

2nd: You would be the final word on what got done, how, and when.

3rd: Complete control of the other three.

• Also, the agreement did not say a single thing about them taking control of V's soul after death. It was a very big thing on the forums that those words were never stated by the fiends; V came up with the 'after death' bit on his own, and they never confirmed or denied it.

• The statue of Girard in 841 suggests that he might already have died from old age. Also, we know from the battle of Azure City that Soon Kim is already dead, and he appears to have been about the same age as Girard.
• Aaaaaannnddd... we have a winner! V may have not known it, but s/he could have killed Girard with Familicide.
  • Actually jossed, as it's confirmed that Girard had been long dead before.

Girard's family was wiped out by one of the other factions

Judging by the last panel of strip 841, it's safe to say there's no one left alive in that dungeon from Girard's descendants. It doesn't really seem like the work of Team Evil, and it can't be the Linear Guild/Tarquin, since they're following behind the Order. So, it seems logical to say that one of those mystery factions the Demon Roaches were talking about is behind this. Besides, what better time to introduce new antagonists than them gloating while occupying one of the Gate locations and trying to control it?

• Apparently Jossed, as they were killed by Vaarsuvius' Familicide.

Penelope's daughter is responsible for killing her family

Assuming she didn't know what her father had done, she grew up thinking her mother had abandoned her at birth, until the day she learned the truth, possibly learning that she was killed while trying to find her (possibly by her father and/or the rest of the family). Tired of being lied to, and feeling betrayed by people who may think that "you only trust family", she played out her revenge. Even if she did know about how the family operate, she might have been trying to contact her mother, and took revenge when she was killed.

Girard and his family are not dead.

This is an illusion. The pyramid's defenders keep the illusion in place 24/7 as a way to deter thieves and gate-crashers from further exploration and to disguise the real (possibly non-combatant) occupants of the pyramid. This could be Girard's own handiwork, but just as likely the pyramid itself is a decoy run by illusionist relatives. It is also possible that the pyramid is a decoy and Girard, being an epic-level caster, can maintain the illusion from within another structure housing the real Gate.

• Jossed, they're quite dead.

Keeping Yukyuk in the party is going to screw the Order over.

From what we have seen of Girard, he is most likely chaotic good and has a problem with any kind of authority, including party leaders. He is also paranoid and theorized by Halley that he trust only family, which was why Penelope's daughter was kidnapped by her own father. Now assuming that he has taught his descendents his paranoia, the fact that the party brought a mind controlled kobold whom they abused like a slave will cause the Draketooth clan to see them as tyrants.

• Jossed, he's dead.

Elan will never be able to leave the Lotus Eater Machine.

The Oracle said that Elan would have a happy ending, and the latest comic with the lotus eater runes is showing as happy an ending as most of this group could possibly ever hope for. Xykon defeated, Durkon brought back to life, family ties mended, Azure city recaptured, etc, etc. Given how pretty much every one of the Oracle's prophesies have ended up biting the group in the ass, I wouldn't be surprised if the runes damaged Elan's brain in some way that he couldn't leave it safely and thus give Elan what he thinks is his happy ending.

• Jossed; it was Elan's genre-savviness that got them out. http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0889.html

Xykon is already at Girard's gate.

It's been repeatedly mentioned by Roy that they have to search the pyramid before Xykon shows up. Xykon and his minions set off for it way back in #833 (with a brief pitstop to the Astral Plane first). #894 reveals that the pyramid that both the Order and the Linear Guild have been exploring is just a decoy, and that the pyramid containing the gate is in fact elsewhere. If Xykon possesses the exact coordinates for the gate, then where's he been all this time? The logical conclusion: Xykon and his minions have been there all along.

• Jossed. The gate has been found, and Xykon is yet to arrive.
  • Actually he did show up. Just before the gate exploded.

Girard's Gate is inside the wall showing the Draketooth family tree.

One, the tree is in the shape of a pyramid.Two, the corpse referring to the Gate located between his buttcheeks refers to the Gate's seal literally behind the printed image of the haloed Girard on the tree.And three, when the Order of the Scribble found it in the desert, it was atop a pyramid. Everyone going downstairs in the pyramid is a shell game, crafted by Girard and his family, based on the assumption the path before you is worth pursuing. It's not, though, and never was.

• Jossed. It turns out that the gate is at the bottom of the pyramid, and the sign saying it isn't is simply a double bluff.

Strip 900 will be the whammiest episode yet.

This shall be some sort of combo breaker with the previous strips that hit the hundreds. Usually the strip is not really that big of a deal plot wise. This time though, it will be a doozy.

• Jossed. Xykon, Redcloak and the MitD appear, but nothing so whammy has occured.

The real Thog will show up during the battle for Girard's Gate.

It makes sense considering Tarquin's now impersonating him...

The Monster in the Dark is a young Tarrasque.

The fact it can talk has been called odd, and it seems to be childlike. We have evidence that it is not evil; O-Chul hasn't fallen for dealing with it, for example. Plus, many of the Tarrasque's abilities fit.

• This also fits for a variety of other reasons. To be that small, it must be a very young Tarrasque indeed, which explains a lot about its personality - it has the mentality and tastes of a six-year old, which would be about equivalent. Also, since only one Tarrasque can exist on a plane at a time, it has no parents, so it's with Xykon and Redcloak so it can have parental figures in its life.
• The Tarrasque is traditionally the strongest non-setting, non-divine monster in D&D, anything less would be a disappointment.
• Not just a tarrasque, but an Awakened tarrasque with sorcerer levels. That would explain (a) how it can speak, (b) how it knows enough about magic to recognize Xykon's hybrid spell, and (c) how it can cast Wish ("Escape!"). That just raises the question, then, of who in their right mind Awakens a tarrasque in the first place.
  • Tarrasque has by default Int of 3. It can speak.

The Monster in the Darkness is a Zodar.

Original post here: http://www.enworld.org/forum/general-rpg-discussion/257742-speculation-monster-darkness-oots.html (posted by Pojo)

Zodar are six-foot-tall, smooth-black suits of armor with 2 eye slits as their only distinguishing feature.

• Which begs the question: why would anyone set up a circus act with one? "Oh look, a guy in black arour" is not the reaction we see from the public in So D

They are seemingly designed as the ultimate brawlers: their entire interior is muscle, they have an incredibly high strength score, can only be harmed by bludgeoning damage, and they never have less than 16 Hit Dice.

Already, it's sounding like the ridiculously strong and somewhat featureless Monster in the Darkness, but it gets even better. 3 times in their life, Zodar can cause any spell to manifest as if they case. Once in their lives, they can cast a limited Wish effect even "Escape".

Zodar tend to have a higher intelligence or wisdom score than the Monster seems to possess, but that could be a result of its age. However, note the Monster's ability to understand and play complex games, and its ability to casually discern a complex magical ritual that even a theurge could not, which might indicate he's less of The Ditz and more of The Fool. In addition to that is the Zodar's ability to only speak 3 times in its life (though the Monster's ability to speak has been stressed as unique), and Zodar are traditionally very stoic and mysterious ( an effect of My Species Doth Protest Too Much, perhaps?).

• Zodar have no natural habitat and can be found anywhere. If one can be found anywhere, finding one in a jungle is not unusual.
  • The Monster in the Darkness causes an earthquake here. It's implied it's done this before. It could be the Zodar's spell ability, but it would likely not waste it on not being bought transformers.
    • That may just be due to the Monster's ridiculous strength. Or, it could be its ability to increase its strength a few times out of the day.
• Zodar can speak, if only three times in their lives. However, the first time it is seen in Start of Darkness, the fact that it can talk at all is treated as incredibly unusual.
• Zodar are immune to mind control, and Xyklon mind-controlled the MitD in Start of Darkness, so it's not a Zodar.

Haley's father has already died, or else will die before Haley is able to free him.

With a setup like "thief girl with a good heart raising money to free her incarcerated father", there's no way it'll be that easy. Drama demands SOME complication, but as it's a nigh-unmentioned character motivation and the plot is getting into pretty dire territory as it is, it's unlikely there'll be plot space for the kind of buildup necessary to make freeing Ian appropriately awesome. Furthermore, Haley already got an absolutely ridiculous amount of cash from the dragon hoard - which was then abruptly blown up, when she and Vaarsuvius thought they'd have time for three trips. That was a plot necessity, as it kicked off the aphasia storyline... HOWEVER, it could also be DM railroading to keep Haley from having an ungodly amount of treasure when she wasn't going to need it.

• Their reunion won't be as easy as just paying for his release, that's almost a given.
• Looks increasingly likely, given what we've learned about Tyrinaria recently...
• Partially Jossed: Haley's father is alive, they've reunited, but he's still in the slammer.

By losing the necromancer's soul, Vaarsuvius is off the clock for 1/3 of the soul lease.

However, if V regains her soul, all time spent between the loss and recapture of the necromancer's soul will count anyway.

• Confirmed by the IFCC tallying up their time. However, the soul splice's end is permanent (the IFCC specifically said it would work only as long as V could hold onto it), so recapture was Jossed before it even came up.

Lee: "Three minutes, six seconds for you, twenty minutes, thirty-five seconds for him and me." (since Haerta left early, and the other two souls were severed simultaneously)

V's necromancer soul will end up with Tsukiko before the underworld entities can track her down.

Possibly giving her spells or information on V and the group, and possibly (if the splice requires only for a soul to be set up for splicing rather than the splice to be prepared and the souls just added to the spell) but less likely, splicing herself with Tsukiko. (And we don't know that she's not one of those biophiliacs that creep Xykon out so much.)

Serini Toormuck or Girard Draketooth is going to get the Order to Girard's Gate.

In #695, the illusion of Girard says that the spell is set to inform himself, Serini, and (presumably) the rest of the Order that it's been triggered. Dorukan and Lirian are sealed, and Kraagor and Soon are dead, so the only people affected by the spell would be Serini and Girard himself; being that Serini is probably too good-natured to have been happy with the idea of Girard also setting it to blow Soon up, Girard probably didn't tell her about that part of the spell in the first place. Since Serini's a Rogue, she'd know to use this as an opportunity to see Soon Kim while she knows for a fact that he's away from his Gate and thus avoid breaking her promise not to interfere. Alternatively, Girard will teleport there himself, either to make sure Soon is actually dead, or to finish him off.

Either way, once they realize that the Order of the Stick has very good reasons for being there, whoever shows up will give them the proper coordinates.

Girard's Gate is exactly where Soon believed it would be.

Girard was an illusionist who had a personal grudge against Soon Kim; anyone who knew about the Gates would have to know about it. It's just a very cunning deception, designed to deter anyone from searching for the Gate any further; the spell to blow up Soon Kim is for authenticity and probably a bit of vindictiveness on Girard's part. After all, Roy survived it just fine, and Soon was likely higher-level then than Roy is now, and would have more HP to burn on what amounts to a very nasty prank— especially since Soon would be traveling with a bunch of paladins who could probably heal the inflicted damage with not much effort.

• So what about those quite-possibly low-level paladins or others you are talking about? Would they all be fine?
  • Who would bring low-level anybody into a part of the world with Purple Worms in it? It's been some time since I took a flip through the Monster Manual, but as I recall, Desert and Undersea were some of the worst terrain types in terms of typical monster habitats.
    • Because they don't HAVE all that many high-level people like the order of the stick in thier ranks, and you notice there's 'normal' people who go through the desert all the time, the spell was clrearly meant to be as lethal as possible.
    • Girard put it specifically in the middle of nowhere, possibly for several reasons, but the stated one is because it's the middle of featureless desert, with nothing in it of value to anyone. Since the Order had to split off from the route the common folk were taking, normal people probably don't go through that part of the desert. And the Sapphire Guard did have some fairly impressive paladins in their roster; evidently this is especially the case for the ones they send out on long missions away from home (ie, Miko.)

Minister Malack is a vegetarian/vegan.

He's deathly pale and apparently has a "special diet". No one else knows he is, possibly since not eating meat is a horrid taboo in traditional lizardfolk society. Not to mention, a character that seems to be a vampire (as some WMGs have claimed) turning out to just be a vegetarian fits perfectly with the comic's Rule of Funny rules.

• Pretty much Jossed by his vampirism.

Theories on new Linear Guild members

Evil Durkon: An ogre cleric of Tiamat who is a teetotaler.Evil Vaarsuvius: A warlock or a cobination conjurer, necromancer.

• Evil Vaarsuvius has been Jossed, it was Zz'dtri. Durkon has no counterpart yet (strip 811).

Malack is actually female.

In this strip, Malack's discussion of pursuing a mate/having more children suggests two interpretations. On one hand, the obvious explanation is that Malack is male and lost his wife at some point before Nale murdered his children. On the other hand, the having a mate and having children might not be directly connected. It's possible that Malack is something like a lesbian lizard- reproducing through parthenogenesis, but still engaging in mating behavior similar to that of a typical lizard. The comic has followed lizard biology before, so this wouldn't be too surprising. It would also work for narrative purposes, as it makes Malack a perfect Evil Counterpart to the ambiguously gendered V.

• He has been described as "he", but that doesn't preclude him being Transgender. Which would kind of be awesome, actually. IMO there are both too few FTM characters in popular fiction, and not enough trans characters for whom their gender identity isn't the main focus of their characterisation.

Haley is Orrin Draketooth's missing daughter

Seriously. The legendary rouge has a red-haired daughter (when Burlew didn't need to show hair at all), who mysteriously vanishes from her mother's care, when we already know that Haley was raised by her father, who shares a character class and a hair color with her Draketooth. Haley even compares Draketooth to her father in the strip where this is all introduced!

• Additionally, Elan will be ecstatic about the whole thing, being the trope-loving man that he is, and someone will compare their meeting to that of Elan and Tarquin's.
• Word of God has already jossed this in the discussion thread for that strip. Also, Orrin's daughter would only be 15, Haley is in her mid 20s.
• Firmly Jossed; she would have been killed by Familicide if that was the case.

It was the IFCC, not the Monster in the Darkness, that saved V and O-Chul from Xykon

If Xykon had killed V, then the IFCC wouldn't have been able to get much use out of V's soul. V would just be stuck in the Lower Planes for a short time, and they clearly have many spellcasters that are higher-leveled than V at their disposal. They need him alive so they can take control of him to ruin everything at a critical moment, so they were the ones who arranged for the Deus ex Machina that saved V at the last moment. "Framing" the Monster in the Darkness would also have the fringe benefit of keeping Xykon from suspecting their involvement. (As an epic level spellcaster, Xykon would be powerful enough to be a serious threat to the IFCC if he put his mind to it.)

• Except Word of God says in "Don't split the party" that it was the MitD who made V and O'Chul escape thanks to "powers he didn't know he had". So Jossed.

The corpse was telling the truth.

In panel 845, Durkon used the spell speak with dead, who then said that Girard's rift is in between his butt cheeks, a typical moment of ass humor perfect for a chaotic NPC to stick it to the lawful PCs. But what if he was serious. In a few panels before when the PCs walked into the pyramid, they walked by the statue of Girard Draketooth. Now if that is where the rift is, then the Draketooth corpse was not lying and in fact the rift is in between Girard's butt cheeks. Besides, is there a better way than to tell the world to "kiss my ass" after death?

• I bet 10gp that you are right. It makes WAY too much sense.
  • Until I read this WMG, I did not think about this possibility. But now, I am completely convinced.
  • Exactly what I was thinking upon reading the line. After all, the gate can be any size, as we learned in Azure City, and having a statue of its guardian built around it doesn't seem that far-fetched.
• Jossed: The Order just proved my theory wrong in the next strip. You have to admit though, it wasn't that bad of the theory.
  • Well, they haven't checked the corpse's ass-bone yet.
  • Roy thought of that in the next strip. Poor Haley was the one to do it...
• Or maybe "Girard's Butt Cheeks" is the name of a rock formation

Nale will destroy Girard's Gate

What's really struck me about this latest story arc is the way it's put pressure on Nale. Not only has he been forced into the race for the Gates to an unprecedented extent, but more importantly, we've introduced a pair of characters who put his ingenuity to the test more than ever before. Tarquin and especially Malack put Nale in the same position Belkar was in while suffering from the Mark of Justice: he must evolve or die. Before now, Nale's solution to any given problem has been to assemble a team to tackle it head-on, but that's never beaten the OOTS, and with Tarquin, Malack and Xykon in the game the inadequacy of these tactics will become progressively more apparent. Nale's only hope of survival against such enemies is to display a level of cunning he's never shown before. With his back to the wall, Nale will only have one option to eliminate all his enemies: blow the Gate, destroying all his enemies in one fell swoop before teleporting to safety. He'll have to sacrifice Z'driti in the process, but that only makes sense: he's one of the last original members of the Linear Guild, and Nale's sacrificed Thog already this arc, the latest casualty of the comics systematic purge of stupid evil characters (see also: Samantha, Tsukiko, Crystal, Yukyuk). Having the fight for Girard's Gate end this way would also fit the recurring theme whereby a Gate's defense is overcome by a subversion of the Guardian's values: Just like Lirian's faith in Nature is overpowered by an unnatural foe and Soon's faith in the unbreakable honor of a paladin is betrayed by a fallen paladin, so Girard's faith in the loyalty of family will be foiled by a dysfunctional family member who in so doing attempts to kill his father and brother in the same moment. Having had to face the fire head-on and surviving, Nale will have finally ascend to the level of the other main antagonists in the comic, becoming a major player in the rush for Kraagor's Gate.

• I believe Girard's faith in family was undermined when the fact that they were all related led to their downfall at the hands of V
  • Jossed, Girard's Gate was destroyed by Roy.

The Sand Monster summoned will kill someone.

But it's not gonna be Roy. It's gonna be the "human with the greatsword."

• Jossed. The literal instruction was used to distract the silicon elemental, but it was destroyed by the Order (thanks to the return of Durkon) before it did any permanent damage.

Tarquin will cause Girard's Gate to be destroyed.

Each of the gates has been destroyed in a way that subverted the ideals of the one who created it.

• Lirian's gate was protected by nature and destroyed when the unnatural overpowered it.
• Dorukan's Gate was protected by runes only the pure of heart could use and destroyed by Stupid Good Elan.
• Soon's Gate was protected by the honour of a paladin and destroyed by a fallen paladin.

Girard believes the only unbreakable bond is family and used his family as a method of protection. Going with the theme already set up, having the gate destroyed due to a family as dysfunctional and untrusting as Elan's is only logical.

• Nope, it was Roy.

Girard's gate will self-destruct.

He's paranoid and clearly doesn't trust the only person he told the location of the gate. I believe that his gate is set to self-destruct if ANYONE tries to get near it unless they're a family member. The weakening of the fabric of the reality from the destruction of the gate might have some cosmetic changes to the setting that'll be indicative of a finale. Perhaps odd color skies whirling energy, etc.

• Again, Roy's the one who destroyed it.

Nale will kill his father and/or take control of his army

Before escaping Azure City, Nale became interested in the Gates. Nale's a pretty smart guy, and must realize that a team of six villains wouldn't stand a chance against Xykon's army if it ever came down to it. We also know Nale resents his father. Knowing the way Nale holds onto grudges, what better way to totally humiliate his father than by taking control of the warlord's troops, either by trickery or force? He could even pick three more Linear Guild members from any Elite Mooks that happen to be in the army, and have the rest as cannon fodder ready to march at a moment's notice.

• Quite possible. Right now (strip 795) Nale is back at his father's empire. While he already has new members for his Linear Guild (Durkon's opposite hasn't appeared yet though, but there's no way Nale is back without a full Guild) I think Nale will take control of the empire thwarting his father's plan of living like a god or living as a legend, because Tarquin right now thinks Nale is dead and he expects Elan to be the one defeating him, if he is ever defeated. That would be a great Plot Twist for the comic, and this way there would be someone capable of fighting Xykon's troops. Then both armies would be mutually destroyed, leaving the Order with chances of defeating the Guild and Xykon.
  • Other way round. Tarquin killed Nale.

The Order of the Stick will escape Tarquin's attack on pteranodons

But not because V. has Charm Monster today. No, because Blackwing knows Dinosaur and points out that the people who removed their rider will also protect them on their flight to freedom if only they carry them with them.Or maybe not. But it would be fun.

• They escape on an Allosaurus

Tarquin is going to cut off Elan's hand in strip no. 928.

That, or he'll give Roy a knife in the back, of course. But the last panel of strip 927 gave me a major Star Wars feeling.

• Jossed

Elan's plan is for Durkon to cast Atonement on Tarquin

Atonement (or 'seduction') is a cleric 5th level spell that Durkon could reasonably know. While it's typically used on fallen paladins or clerics to restore their lost class levels after violating their alignment restrictions, it can also be used as a hassle-free 'change a character's established alignment to whatever you want' contrivance. Elan is hoping to use this spell on his father to change his alignment from Evil to Good. However, one of the caveats of this spell is that the target cannot be compelled (through magic, or otherwise) to accept the offer, so the real details of the plan will be in convincing his father Good is better than Evil. It's been established with Hinjo's talk with Miko after her fall that the Atonement spell exists in the OotS world, so there is precedence.

• Jossed. His plan was apparently to get Durkon to call Julio Scoundrél for help.

Durkon will vamp Z, getting a thirst for blood

Durkon, after rejoining the order, will vamp Z so they have a wizard until V's time with the IFCC runs out. Once V comes back, Durkon will send Z to the dwarflands to scout the area. Eventually, Durkon will ask the order to head to the dwarflands, perhaps making something up about wanting to get back in touch with being a dwarf. Once they get there, he and Z will meet up and bring death and destruction to the dwarflands as the oracle said he would, trying to form his own empire.

• Durkon already killed Z without biting him. There are probably more useful forms of undead he could turn him into if he opts for that.
  • Jossed. Durkon killed Z instead.

Everyone will turn out to be characters at a table after they defeat the snarl.

The snarl was intended to be a TPK and after it dies, the DM will be so frustrated that he will attack the Order's players in Real Life.

• Jossed in panel 6.

Haley's Uncle Geoff is working with Tarquin

I know, fairly obvious that he's the one responsible for Ian getting recaptured. But it runs on a deeper level. Compare Geoff to Miron (the guy with the bandanna on his face) in this strip. Notice the baggy eyes?

• That could also explain why Geoff and Ian know about who really controls the politic situation and why a ransom note was sent to Haley when the empire is so far from Greysky City, since Ian didn't want Haley to get involved. However there's still the thing of Miron supposedly being with the Weeping King...
• Jossed: He did keep betraying Ian and getting him recaptured, but he was ultimately working for Buzzok, not Tarquin. There could still be some familial relationship between him and Miron, though they are clearly not the same person.

In response to Elan and Haley's Relationship Upgrade, Nale and Sabine are going to break up.

They are evil opposites, so now that Elan and Haley are an item, we're going to start seeing the relationship start to fray. In fact, I'd say it's happening already. Nale seemed distressed at the revelation that Sabine routinely has sex without him.

• Jossed. Nale is dead, with no way of being resurrected, therefore they cannot break up. Sabine was not happy when this occurred either, so she did not want their relationship to end.

Elan's plan is for Durkon to cast Detect Good on Tarquin

Elan comes up with his plan after Roy says the phrase "But I think in your case, it's better to find that sense of family among people that are good than it is to find a sense of good inside your family". Elan, being Elan, ignores the actual sentiment of Roy's statement and latches on to the words "sense" and "good". His plan is to prove that his father has good in him by having Durkon use magic to show everyone his alignment. What else would he need Durkon for? Of course, this will backfire spectacularly when Durkon casts his spell and proves that Tarquin is evil through and through, causing Elan to suffer a Heroic BSoD and then finally get the resolve to defeat his father.

• Unlikely, given that Elan has now accepted his father isn't going to change easily (if at all).
• Jossed, Elan's plan didn't involve trying to redeem Tarquin.

Elan's plan is for Durkon to cast Atonement on Tarquin

Atonement (or 'seduction') is a cleric 5th level spell that Durkon could reasonably know. While it's typically used on fallen paladins or clerics to restore their lost class levels after violating their alignment restrictions, it can also be used as a hassle-free 'change a character's established alignment to whatever you want' contrivance. Elan is hoping to use this spell on his father to change his alignment from Evil to Good. However, one of the caveats of this spell is that the target cannot be compelled (through magic, or otherwise) to accept the offer, so the real details of the plan will be in convincing his father Good is better than Evil. It's been established with Hinjo's talk with Miko after her fall that the Atonement spell exists in the OotS world, so there is precedence.

• Jossed, Elan's plan didn't involve trying to redeem Tarquin.

The Order of the Stick will be heading to Durkon's homeland at some point...

...only to find it completely destroyed by Xykon.

Durkon: How will I finally be returnin' ta me beloved dwarven homelands?

Oracle: Posthumously.

The Oracle never states it would be after Durkon dies; he meant it would be after all the other dwarves die. This is also the meaning of the dwarven prophecy that states the Durkon will destroy his homeland should he return.

• The word "posthumously," unfortunately, does unambiguously mean that Durkon will be dead when he returns. If he had asked, "How will my homeland greet my return?" and the answer was "Posthumously," that would mean his homeland would be dead when he returned.
• And in On the Origin of PCs, it's prophesied that "when next [Durkon] returns home, he will bring death and destruction for us all".
• Jossed.

Durkon chose to be vamped as part of Elan's "Super-Secret Plan".

In Strip #836, Elan mentions a plan which he needs Durkon's help with - which came to him just as Roy was talking about "finding a sense of good in your own family". Since he's Genre Savvy enough to, say, predict that Tarquin was the 'new Thog', he was expecting Malack to be coming after them at some point - and knows Malack's issues with Nale. Since Durkon had become good friends with him, his plan was for Durkon to use that connection to get into Tarquin's circle and act as a Good influence on them, or at least to sow additional conflict between Nale and Malack to the detriment of the whole group. Whether he predicted well enough to know that Malack was a vampire and that Durkon would have to be vamped is another question, as is whether it will actually do any good, but the existence of an Elan-Durkon plan is indisputable so it would be a cool way to bring that into fruition.

• Jossed. Durkon becoming a vampire was Malack's doing, and that isn't part of Elan's Plan.

Elan's Plan is to call his mother in

Roy's statement about finding family in people who are good instead of good in family reminded Elan about his Chaotic Good mother, that unnamed barmaid. Elan had Durkon cast a sending telling her about Tarquin's evil. When Elan's mom arrives, there'll be some touching reunions... then she'll sue Tarquin for unpaid alimony. The utter absurdity of it all (Plus the amount being charged) will not only bankrupt the Empire of Blood, but also torpedo Tarquin's plan of having a totally badass finish.

• It's one of the perfect ways for his "go out in an epic fashion" plan to fail! Seconded!

• Jossed. He was calling Julio Scoundrel.

Durkon's parents were/are hippies.

So, every other Order member whose parents have been shown in the comic has a problematic relationship with them. In Durkon's case, it could mean that similarly with Ned Flanders on the The Simpsons, his parents were ultra-laid back, and as a result, he overcompensated and became ultra-lawful and straitlaced.

• Jossed. Durkon's mother was in the Dwarf armed services, and he got on with her, and his father was deceased when Durkon was little.

Haley's father has already died, or else will die before Haley is able to free him.

With a setup like "thief girl with a good heart raising money to free her incarcerated father", there's no way it'll be that easy. Drama demands SOME complication, but as it's a nigh-unmentioned character motivation and the plot is getting into pretty dire territory as it is, it's unlikely there'll be plot space for the kind of buildup necessary to make freeing Ian appropriately awesome. Furthermore, Haley already got an absolutely ridiculous amount of cash from the dragon hoard - which was then abruptly blown up, when she and Vaarsuvius thought they'd have time for three trips. That was a plot necessity, as it kicked off the aphasia storyline... HOWEVER, it could also be DM railroading to keep Haley from having an ungodly amount of treasure when she wasn't going to need it.

• Their reunion won't be as easy as just paying for his release, that's almost a given.
• Looks increasingly likely, given what we've learned about Tyrinaria recently...
• Partially Jossed: Haley's father is alive, they've reunited, but he's still in the slammer.
• Jossed again. He gets out alive.

Haley is Orrin Draketooth's missing daughter

Seriously. The legendary rouge has a red-haired daughter (when Burlew didn't need to show hair at all), who mysteriously vanishes from her mother's care, when we already know that Haley was raised by her father, who shares a character class and a hair color with her Draketooth. [[Foreshadowing Haley even compares Draketooth to her father in the strip where this is all introduced!]]

• Additionally, Elan will be ecstatic about the whole thing, being the trope-loving man that he is, and someone will compare their meeting to that of Elan and Tarquin's.
• Word of God has already jossed this in the discussion thread for that strip. Also, Orrin's daughter would only be 15, Haley is in her mid 20s.

Nale will destroy Girard's Gate

What's really struck me about this latest story arc is the way it's put pressure on Nale. Not only has he been forced into the race for the Gates to an unprecedented extent, but more importantly, we've introduced a pair of characters who put his ingenuity to the test more than ever before. Tarquin and especially Malack put Nale in the same position Belkar was in while suffering from the Mark of Justice: he must evolve or die. Before now, Nale's solution to any given problem has been to assemble a team to tackle it head-on, but that's never beaten the OOTS, and with Tarquin, Malack and Xykon in the game the inadequacy of these tactics will become progressively more apparent. Nale's only hope of survival against such enemies is to display a level of cunning he's never shown before. With his back to the wall, Nale will only have one option to eliminate all his enemies: blow the Gate, destroying all his enemies in one fell swoop before teleporting to safety. He'll have to sacrifice Z'driti in the process, but that only makes sense: he's one of the last original members of the Linear Guild, and Nale's sacrificed Thog already this arc, the latest casualty of the comics systematic purge of stupid evil characters (see also: Samantha, Tsukiko, Crystal, Yukyuk). Having the fight for Girard's Gate end this way would also fit the recurring theme whereby a Gate's defense is overcome by a subversion of the Guardian's values: Just like Lirian's faith in Nature is overpowered by an unnatural foe and Soon's faith in the unbreakable honor of a paladin is betrayed by a fallen paladin, so Girard's faith in the loyalty of family will be foiled by a dysfunctional family member who in so doing attempts to kill his father and brother in the same moment. Having had to face the fire head-on and surviving, Nale will have finally ascend to the level of the other main antagonists in the comic, becoming a major player in the rush for Kraagor's Gate.

• I believe Girard's faith in family was undermined when the fact that they were all related led to their downfall at the hands of V
  • Jossed, Girard's Gate was destroyed by Roy.

Roy just went Super Saiyan

Typically Super Saiyans are characterized by their spiky golden hairs, but the rather less memetic physical effect is how their eyes turn green. Roy, being bald, cannot show the former - but he sure has the green eyes and Battle Aura going on.

• Jossed, seemingly; Wrecan believes it is due to his family's sword being a Weapon of Legacy.

Durkula's staff is going to run out of charges very soon.

Staffs in 3.5 have 50 charges apiece, no one appears to have the Craft Staff feat, using them to raise zombies cost a few charges each and at least 6 were used that way, and they have been used to turn at least three people into vampires in recent history (probably giving the giant guard and Vamp!Gontor protection from Daylight to boot). I can foresee it running out of juice.

• Jossed; Roy breaks it in the process of "returning" it to the new High Priest of Hel after Durkon leaves the Godsmoot.

Durkula really is still one of the goodguys.

For all the scenery-chewing and subterfuge, his evil plan was... to represent his goddess at a godsmoot. Like he said just after being turned, he's no more evil than Belkar (or V, for that matter). Although he won't let his teammates cure him - if that's even possible - his interests align with theirs, so he'll just be one more dodgy ally.

• Now that we know just for what reason he's representing his goddess, this one seems fairly definitively Jossed.

Durkula will give himself away to Roy through his writing.

Probably not until too late, though. Durkon's writing transcribes his accent, which Durkon himself seemed unaware of when Roy pointed it out. Durkula has access to Durkon's memories, and has been faking Durkon's accent, but since Durkon himself overlooked his writing style, potentially Durkula would do the same. If he writes something and Roy reads it, it may tip him off that something is wrong with Durkon when nothing so far has.

• Jossed.

Durkon will break free of the High Priest of Hel, and this will have something to do with Hilgya.

Because you know we're going to see her again at some point.

• Jossed, though Hilgya did show up.

Durkon will take back control from the High Priest of Hel via Hoist by His Own Petard, or the High Priest will undergo Becoming the Mask and have a Face–Heel Turn.

Thanks to the access to Durkon's memories the High Priest has, Durkon will start influencing the High Priest.

Durkon will die

In the next fight with Xykon, probably in a Heroic Sacrifice. And be raised as an intelligent undead. And lead Xykon's army directly to Kraagar's gate. Hence, returning home posthumously.

• And Red Cloak will make a Heel–Face Turn after Xykon threatens to zombify his entire Goblin army. He will replace Durkon as the team cleric for the Order of the Stick.
• Jossed. Malak killed Durkon and raised him as a vampire.

Durkon Will Become an Undead version of a Death Seeker

He clearly won't like that Malack turned him into a vampire, even if he gets an evil alignment. Cue a lot of suicide attempts that everyone in the Empire of Blood thinks are played for comedy except Malack who's trying to keep him quote-unquote-alive (and Tarqin, who's laughing at Malack's stress). This will occur after a minor timeskip after the destruction of Girard's gate while everyone tries to find the last one.

• Also, the Order will recruit either the cleric of Loki or Hilgya as their new cleric and the cleric agrees to help save Durkon.
  • Jossed — it wasn't Durkon at all, just a spirit possessing him. And he's better now.

Durkon will return to his homelands as a vampire and bring about their destruction...but it turns out the word "destruction" is also subject to a Prophecy Twist!

For example, the family home will be demolished when he returns due to moving location. Or heck, the whole city moved because when he came back he noticed a fault line/volcano/evil army nearby. Or it's right on top of the last gate and they decide to wreck everything and run before someone blows that gate up too.

• Jossed - the Destruction is something he's following up with in the form of mini-Mjolnir.

Belkar will die while trying to bring back Durkon.

Belkar seems actually distraught by Durkon's death, so he will decide to save him at the cost of his own life.

• I wouldn't call it distraught over Durkon's death as confused as all hell about what just happened. Also, if Belkar is distragth over Durkon's death, it is because our sociopath of a halfling no longer has a healer to help him.
  • He's definitely blindsided by the fact that Durkon died instead of him, but the fact that his first reaction is "find the group and tell them what happened" definitely suggests he's not totally concerned about himself at the moment. Also, if V has Owl's Wisdom at the ready again, we can see Nice Guy Healer Belkar make a triumphant return!
  • Jossed - no one died bringing Durkon back.