The Reason You Suck Speech / Other

Other examples:

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    Newspaper Comics 

    Reality TV 
  • In the first season of Survivor, fourth-place finisher Susan Hawk opts to use her time allotted to ask the final two (Richard Hatch and Kelly Wigglesworth) a question to instead deliver one to both but especially Kelly, who Sue had intended to take to the final two of the competition and instead both defected from their overall alliance but cast the deciding vote to get rid of Sue instead of Richard.
    "Kelly, the Rafting Persona Queen... you did get stomped on on national TV by a city boy who never swam, let alone been in the woods or jungle or rowed a boat in his life. You sucked on that game. Anyways, I was your friend at the beginning of this, really thinking that you were a true friend. I was willing to be sitting there and putting you next to me... at that time you were sweeter than me, I'm not a very... openly nice person. I'm just frank, forward, and tell you the way it is. To have you sit there next to me, and have me lose 900,000 dollars just to stomp on somebody like [Richard]. But as the game went along and the two tribes merged you lied to me, which showed me the true person that you are; you're very two-faced and manipulative to get where you're at anywhere in life, that's why you fail all the time. ... but Kelly, go back to a couple of times Jeff [Probst, the host] said 'what goes around comes around?' It's here. You will not get my vote, my vote will go to Richard, and I hope that is the one vote that makes you lose the money. If not, so be it, I'll shake your hand and go on from here. But if I were ever [to] pass you along in life again and you were laying there, dying of thirst, I would not give you a drink of water. I would let the vultures take you and do whatever they want with ya. With no ill-regrets. I plead to the jury tonight to think a little about the island that we have been on. This island is pretty much full of only two things; snakes and rats. And in the end of Mother Nature, we have Richard the snake, who knowingly went after prey, and Kelly who turned into the rat that ran around as the rats do on this island, trying to run from the snake. I feel it that we owe it to the island spirits that we have learned to come to know to let it be in the end as Mother Nature intended it to be, for the snake to eat the rat."
    "Mick: Day One, they put a leadership necklace around your neck. I go 39 days, struggling to find a reason that you deserve that title. You did nothing: you did nothing with your team, you did nothing to encourage them. Nobody on that team had any guts; you're responsible for that. Russell: this hurts me. We had nothing in common... You played an unethical game, admittedly played an unethical game. The crazy thing about it is you're sittin' there; I'm standing here. Did you get to the right place by behaving the wrong way? I've never been in a situation [in] my entire life where that was the case, but you sit there proud of it! Natalie: people will call you weak, people will say that you are undeserving... but you know what? Why are those characteristics any less 'admirable' [than] lying, cheating, and stealing? Why does [Russell] get a free pass but your 'wrong' way of playing is admonished? If there's one thing that I learned in this game, it's that (to the jury) perception is not reality! Reality is reality, and (to Natalie) you are sitting there, and that makes you just as dangerous as any one of those guys there. You would say that you are least deserving of the title of Sole Survivor, but maybe (just maybe) in an environment filled with arrogance [and] delusional entitlement, maybe the person who thinks she's least deserving is probably the most."
    • In All-Stars, ninth-placer Lex van den Berghe delivers one to finalists Rob and Amber that's littered with Moral Myopia, since he's berating them for making very similar moves that he made prior to being voted out:
    "It's just a game. That's something we've probably all said a thousand times while we were out here. And I'm sure that for both of you, it was an excuse that helped wash away the guilt as you played the game the way that you played it. You know what? That phrase, 'it's just a game'? It's a big lie. It's not just a game. For all of us out here, for all of you, it's life. And the line between game and life is not cut and dried. Life blurs into the game constantly. This game exposes who we are as people to the core. It's like truth serum. And I think the way you play this game is representative of the kind of person you are. The hardest lesson I learned out here was about friendship and betrayal. And I think the true measure of a man is what kind of friend he is. What kind of a friend are you, Rob? What kind of a friend were you to me? You asked me to do you a favor. Bro to bro. Friend to friend. And I did the only thing I could do, and that was to answer the call of a friend in need. You repaid that by putting a knife in my back. As far as this game's concerned, I lost, and you both beat me. No sour grapes, no bitterness. With all sincerity, I congratulate both of you for making it to the final two. But as I see it, as good as your game was, you sold out your values, you sold out your character, and you sold out your friends for a stack of greenbacks. I hope it was worth it, because that money will never be enough to buy it all back."
    • The entirety of the Final Tribal Council in Heroes vs. Villains was one delivered to Russell Hantz, with all the jurors telling him that he had lied to and bullied them way, way too much for them to ever want to "reward" him for his sociopathic gameplay.
  • On the UK version of The Apprentice:
    "I could not have put more effort into yesterday. I fragged myself to the bone yesterday to try and make this thing work. Your reasons for bringing me in here just do not stack up. One, on a personal level, and two, on a business level. Sir Alan said he does not know about my personal stuff. He knows about it because you talked about it, because Kristina talked about it. Fine, been that, but if you want to go personal, I'll go personal. I very much strongly advise you not to take down the personal route. At a business level, you have one speed setting, and that speed setting is slow, slow, slow! Someone put the wrong speed dial in when they created you, sweetie, which is why when the phone rings, I always drop. Because I know that phone call will take forever to hear something either I know, or I can get done quicker myself. So you know what? You're just barking up the wrong tree!"
    • Karren Brady delivered one to the losing team in the sixth series. The team were arguing amongst themselves in the boardroom, it grew heated, and after Lord Sugar called them 'a bunch of bloody amateurs', Karren stepped in.
    "You are representing businesswomen today, one of which I am. And I have to say, it is outrageous the way you're behaving. 75% of my management team are women, and I've never come across anything like this. And I think you have to remember who you're representing in this process. Young women out there who want to have an opportunity to do this - you should be an example to them."
    • Claude Littner's interview technique pretty much IS this trope. His first comment when he was a member of the panel on "You're Fired" carried on the trend:
    "Well, first of all, everything was wrong. The volume was wrong, the margins were wrong, the techniques of selling were wrong. I struggle to find anything that you did right, really. But it wasn't just you — I think it was everybody in the team who just failed to perform."

    Stand Up Comedy 
  • According to Bill Bailey, membership renewal requests from the Automobile Association become this on the third letter:
    Dear Mr Bailey; it appears you have not renewed your AA membership. Picture the scene: a lonely stretch of the B3174, a car that refuses to start. That car is yours. That terrified driver is YOU. Why would you leave the AA, one of the most glitteringly magnificent organisations the world has ever seen? And now, when you are at your most vulnerable: Your cholesterol levels are worryingly high; your friends talk about you behind your back, they pity you! Your arrogance has placed your family in mortal danger! You have stepped from the light into the abyss! Without us, you're nothing but a pitiful roadside MAGGOT, crawling along the edge of a straight razor! Crawling! Crawling! Crawling... Please let me know if you reconsider.
  • Bobcat Goldthwait's bit about Star Wars fans.

    Tabletop Games 
  • "Magic of Faerun", a Forgotten Realms sourcebook, has one given by Khelben Blackstaff to an intruder he's about to kill as its intro.
  • Warhammer 40,000:
    • In the short-story The Last Church, part of the Horus Heresy range, the last Christian priest on Earth delivers an epic one to The Emperor Himself, calling him out on his hypocrisy and brutality, and pointing out just how his plan for a unified Empire of Mankind will fail, before choosing to burn with his beloved church rather than take part in His vision.
    • The Horus Heresy consisted almost exclusively of these, at least in the parts where they wouldn't have been drowned out by gunfire. Battle for the Abyss, for example, has an Ultramarine call out a Word Bearer for his Legion being too weak to stand alone, hence their need to seek out gods, while Betrayer has Angron rip into Guilliman with one of the best examples of one of these speeches ever given in the franchise:
    Angron: What would you know of struggle, Perfect Son? When have you fought against the mutilation of your mind? when have you had to do anything more than tally compliances and polish your armour?" [...] The people of your world named you Great One. The people of mine called me Slave. Which one of us landed on a paradise of civilisation to be raised by a foster father, Roboute? Which one of us was given armies to lead after training in the halls of the Macraggian high-riders? Which one of us inherited a strong, cultured kingdom? And which one of us had to rise up against a kingdom with nothing but a horde of starving slaves? Which one of us was a child enslaved on a world of monsters, with his brain cut up by carving knives? Listen to your blue-clad wretches yelling of courage and honour, courage and honour, courage and honour. Do you even know the meaning of those words? Courage is fighting the kingdom which enslaves you, no matter that their armies outnumber yours by ten-thousand to one. You know nothing of courage. Honour is resisting a tyrant when all others suckle and grow fat on the hypocrisy he feeds them. You know nothing of honour.
    • To which Guilliman retorts "You’re still a slave, Angron. Enslaved by your past, blind to the future. Too hateful to learn. Too spiteful to prosper." Angron despised the Butcher's Nails but was happy to implant them into his own legion, and he ignored how much the other Primarchs struggled: Sanguinius civilised a world of mutant cannibals, Mortarion was raised on a poisonous world where everyone feared him but he still helped people, and even Konrad Curze in all his horror and brutality brought a semblence of order to the most nightmarish Wretched Hive in the galaxy. All Angron ever did was blame others for the unfairness in his life.
    • In between the inter-Legion shouting, you got some of these between members of the one Legion - for example, Solomon Demeter casually informing the future Lucius the Eternal that while he may once have had the makings of a great officer, now he's just a lickspittle and sycophant with a swollen ego.
    • Sometimes you even got them between Primarchs on the same side of the war, best exemplified a) when Perturabo smashes Fulgrim's face into a model Titan and explains that the Emperor's Children are officially a complete disgrace to the Legiones Astartes, and b) when Guilliman breaks Lion El'Jonson in half with two sentences.
    • Guilliman seems to be good at making these. He was not happy one bit with the state of the Imperium when he was revived at the end of "Gathering Storm":
    "Why do I still live? What more do you want from me? I gave everything I had to you, to them. Look what they've done to our dream. This bloated, rotting carcass of an empire is not driven by reason and hope, but by fear, hate and ignorance. Better that we all burned in the fires of Horus' ambition than lived to see this."
  • In Shadow Run, the Great Dragon Hestaby gives one of these to Atzlan, the May Inca Tec Mega Corp. that secretly runs itself on Blood Magic, in the intro story to SOTA 2073. For added fun, she did so publically. At the United Nations Assembly.

  • Hamlet: Hamlet is the master of these. He gives one to Ophelia ("Get thee to a nunnery"), two to his mother ("You are the queen, your husband's brother's wife and would it were not so, you are my mother", "Shame, where is thy blush"), one to Laertes ("You'll mouth, I'll rant as well") and one to Claudius at the end while giving him a Rasputinian Death.
    Hamlet: Here thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane, drink of this potion, is thy union here? Follow my mother. (''King dies''.)
  • Into the Woods The Witch's song Last Midnight is a scathing one, directed at the Baker, Cinderella, Jack and Little Red Riding Hood (and indirectly everyone else but herself).
  • One of the female leads in Neil La Bute's Reasons to Be Pretty. Earlier, though the comment is never stated outright, it's implied that her boyfriend has said she was just "regular" in comparison to a female coworker who was "hot," and things quickly soured between them. She breaks up with her boyfriend and delivers one of these speeches to him in front of a crowded mall, commenting on how he stinks after work, his nostrils are unattractive, his penis is small, and they have unimaginative sex.
  • In John Adams' opera The Death of Klinghoffer, the wheelchair-bound Leon Klinghoffer delivers one of these to the terrorists, about how he and his wife generally try to be good people while the terrorists are, well, terrorists.
  • The Boys in the Band. Harold gives the Mother of All Reads to Michael.
    Harold: Now it's my turn, and ready or not, Michael, here goes: you're a sad and pathetic man. You're a homosexual and you don't want to be, but there's nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to your God, not all the analysis you can buy, in all the years you've go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life - if you want it desperately enough, if you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you'll always be homosexual as well. Always Michael. Always. Until the day you die.
  • Done in Man of La Mancha by the Knight of the Mirrors (actually Carrasco in disguise), with attendants pushing mirrors into Don Quixote's face every way he turns:
    "Look! Don Quixote! Look in the mirror of reality and behold things as they truly are. Look! What seest thou, Don Quixote? A gallant knight? Naught but an aging fool! Look! Dost thou see him? A madman dressed for a masquerade! Look, Don Quixote! See him as he truly is! See the clown! Drown, Don Quixote. Drown—drown in the mirror. Go deep—the masquerade is ended! Confess! Thy lady is a trollop, and thy dream the nightmare of a disordered mind!"
  • The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare ends with titular "shrew," Katharina, giving a very biting - and long - "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Bianca and the Widow:
    Katharina: Such duty as the subject owes the prince
    Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
    And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
    And not obedient to his honest will,
    What is she but a foul contending rebel
    And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
    I am ashamed that women are so simple
    To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
    Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway...
  • Roma gave one to Williamson in Glengarry Glen Ross. "Who told you you can work with men!?"
    • Subverted with Shelly Levene who, having spent the entire movie as Williamson's Butt-Monkey, eagerly takes the opportunity to take up where Roma left off and get a little payback. Unfortunately for him, he gets carried away, makes a stupid slip, and gives Williamson an opportunity to destroy him utterly.
  • Mr. Cladwell to Bobby in the Urinetown song Act 1 Finale
  • Evita has Waltz for Evita and Che which is the two of them doing this to each other.
  • A good chunk of "Goodbye Love" from RENT is this between Roger and Mark.
  • The second half of "See I'm Smiling" from "The Last Five Years" is Cathy's rant to Jamie about his egotism.
    You can't spend a single day
    That's not about you and you and nothing but you -
    Mahvelous novelist, you!
    Isn't he wonderful, just twenty-eight!
    The savior of writing!
    You and you and nothing but you -
    Miles and piles of you
    Pushing through windows and bursting through walls
    En Route to the sky!
  • "Alas For You" in Godspell. The lyrics come from Matthew 23, from the speech known as the Seven Woes to the Scribes and Pharisees (see entry under Literature).
  • Hamilton has a few of these scattered throughout, but none of them manage to be as self-destructing as Alexander's published rant at the only other member of his own party from "The Adams Administration". The one line Hamilton has on Broadway was a much longer rant called "An Open Letter", which was dropped just after opening night.
    Go ahead, you aspire to my level
    You inspire to malevolence
    Say hi to the Jeffersons!
    And the spies all around me
    Maybe they can confirm
    I don't care if I kill my career with this letter
    I'm confining you to one term
    Sit down, John, you fat motherfucker!
  • Stanley to Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire. Also happens in the film adaption.
    Take a look at yourself here in a worn-out Mardi Gras outfit, rented for 50 cents from some rag-picker. And with a crazy crown on. Now what kind of a queen do you think you are? Do you know that I've been on to you from the start, and not once did you pull the wool over this boy's eyes? You come in here and you sprinkle the place with powder and you spray perfume and you stick a paper lantern over the light bulb - and, lo and behold, the place has turned to Egypt and you are the Queen of the Nile, sitting on your throne, swilling down my liquor. And do you know what I say? Ha ha! Do you hear me? Ha ha ha!
  • Henry IV: King Henry IV delivers an absolutely blistering, borderline I Have No Son one of these to his son Hal on his deathbed after Hal believes him to be dead already and immediately grabs his crown. In an interesting subversion of the trope, Hal comes back with a The Reason I Don't Suck, Actually speech and convinces his father otherwise, and he dies with the two at peace.
    Thou hidest a thousand daggers in thy thoughts,
    Which thou hast whetted on thy stony heart,
    To stab at half an hour of my life.
    What! canst thou not forbear me half an hour?
    Then get thee gone and dig my grave thyself,
    And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear
    That thou art crowned, not that I am dead.
  • Christine delivers multiple lines that essentially add up to one of these to the titular character during the climax of The Phantom of the Opera, calling him her "fallen idol and false friend", telling him "it's in your soul that the true distortion lies".
  • Henrik Ibsen did it at least twice.
  • In John Logan's Red, after two years of working for the caustic artist Mark Rothko, Ken finally snaps when Rothko says that Ken's "neediness" bores him:
    Bores you? Bores you?! Christ almighty, trying working for you for a living! — The talking-talking-talking-Jesus-Christ-won't-he-ever-shut-up titanic self absorption of the man! You stand there trying to look so deep when you're nothing but a solipsistic bully with your grandiose self-importance and your lectures and arias and let's-look-at-the-fucking-canvas-for-another-few-weeks-let's-not-fucking-paint-let's-just-look. And the pretension! Jesus Christ, the pretension! I can't imagine any other painter in the history of art ever tried so hard to be SIGNIFICANT! You know, not everything has to be so goddamn IMPORTANT all the time! Not every painting has to rip your guts out and expose your soul! Not everyone wants art that actually HURTS! Sometimes you just want a fucking still life or landscape or soup can or comic book! Which you might learn if you ever actually left your goddamn hermetically sealed submarine here with all the windows closed and no natural light — BECAUSE NATURAL LIGHT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! But then nothing is ever good enough for you! Not even the people who buy your pictures! Museums are nothing but mausoleums, galleries are run by pimps and swindlers, and art collectors are nothing but shallow social climbers. So who is good enough to own your art?! Anyone?! Or maybe the real question is: Who is good enough to even see your art?...Is it just possible no one is worthy enough to look at your paintings? ...That's it, isn't it? ... We have all been "weighed in the balance and been found wanting." You say you spend your life in search of real "human beings," people who can look at your pictures with compassion. But you no longer believe those people exist ... So you lose faith ... So you lose hope ... So black swallows red. My friend, I don't think you'd recognize a real human being if he were standing right in front of you.
  • Several of these appear in 1985's The Normal Heart (and subsequent 2014 film): Ned delivers one to his (straight) brother Ben for secretly believing him to be "sick" and for not supporting their cause and instead spending his money on a huge mansion, Dr. Emma Brookner rages at the government panel for rejecting her application for AIDS research funding, and Bruce delivers an absolutely devastating, though not unreasonable one to Ned for harming the activism group with his aggressive, bullying tactics, going so far as to say that he is exploiting AIDS victims' deaths.