Airdate - November 5, 2003
After several people are killed by cars driven by senior citizens, their licenses are revoked. The seniors decide to fight back and take over the town.
- All Up To You: The boys are the only ones who can help.
Stan: Dad, why is everyone letting old people do this? Why doesn't somebody stop them?
Randy: They've tried to stop them, son, but... the seniors get up so early in the morning they... get everything done before everyone else is even awake!
Kyle: They're saying something about taking over the entire country.
Randy: Yes. And now seeing how early they get up, I don't see how anyone can stop them. Wait a minute. You boys! You get up almost as early as they do! You can fight them!
Stan: No. Come on, Dad. Can't you guys do it?
Randy: No, son. We... like to sleep in.
- Car Meets House: Seniors driving cars chase the boys like in a Slasher Movie.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: The seniors put the other adults into a prison camp.
- Everybody Laughs Ending: Before leaving, Stan adds that he hates his family.
- God Is Evil: "...God's sense of humor is very different from our own. He does not laugh at the simple "man walks into a bar" joke. No, God needs complex irony and subtle farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me. All that we can hope for is that God got his good laugh and a tragedy such as this will never happen again."
- Hypocritical Humor: Randy tells his father that he isn't going to treat him like a child after getting arrested. Randy then says that he thinks someone owes Mr. Police Officer an apology.
- Shout-Out: Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets. Mostly.
- Stating the Simple Solution: The boys realize that shutting down Country Kitchen Buffet will leave the senior citizens powerless. Cartman details an elaborate plan including disguising themselves as black people and strapping explosives to Kyle while he goes inside. Stan then points out that they could just lock the store from the inside so they can't get in. Cartman admits they could do just that.
- When Elders Attack