- Ron: I'm Ron Swanson and you're Leslie (beep)ing Knope.
Leslie tells Ann about the group who asked her to run for office. Leslie wants to run, as being in elected office is one of her dream jobs, but she doesn't know what to do about Ben since he is Assistant to the City Manager and their relationship could cause a scandal. Ron approaches her in a panic, telling her that his first ex-wife, Tammy 1, is here and he is running away, leaving her in charge. Ron grabs an emergency survival bag and flees to live in the wilderness for 180 days. Meanwhile, Tom has quit his job to join Jean-Ralphio in his company, Entertainment 720.
Three weeks later, Leslie meets with her election team, who want her to run for a City Council seat. She will announce her candidacy in three months. When she runs into Ben, she tries to lie to him because she knows that, once she runs for office, she and Ben will have to break up. She plans to postpone telling him until Ann comes up with a solution to her problem.
An e-mail with a picture of a man's genitals is sent to all of the female employees of City Hall. While Chris and Ben investigate, Leslie is sent to do damage control by having an interview with reporter Perd Hapley. Ann tells Chris that the person who sent the picture might have a hernia or mumps or some other illness.
Tom comes to City Hall to give out E720 gifts to his friends, but not even he is sure what Entertainment 720 does. Tom approaches Andy, who's been feeling dissatisfied with shoe shining, asking him if he'd like to join the E720 staff. Andy says he'll think about it.
Leslie's team is impressed with her interview with Perd Hapley, and decide that she will announce her candidacy on Friday instead of waiting three months. Leslie tries to tell Ben about her candidacy, but she can't spit it out.
Ben's investigation reveals that the sewage department head, Joe, sent the texts. He is fired immediately. Chris informs him that he might have the mumps.
Andy talks about Tom's job offer with April. Although he doesn't know what his dream is, he decides not to take the E720 job, as he has no clue what he'll be doing there anyway.
Ann confronts Chris, asking him if he told Joe who diagnosed his mumps, as she has now been getting pictures from other male workers who want her to check them for mumps. Chris addresses the male employees of City Hall, telling them they must stop sending pictures to Ann. They don't seem to get it, so she suggests getting a doctor to examine them so they'll stop bothering her. Chris calls in Dr. Harris to do exams on the men.
Leslie and Ben go out to dinner, and Leslie tries to tell him what's going on. He tries to head her off by giving her a gift, but she panics and runs off to Ron's cabin, where he is hiding out. She tells him she is running away from her problems. She tries to tell Ron about her dilemma, but he doesn't want to hear it.
Andy tells Tom he's declining the job offer. Later, Andy tells April that his dream is to be a rock star. She tells him that there are plenty of things he could do and in a year he won't be shining shoes anymore.
Leslie tells Ron she might not run for office, and Ron encourages her to do it. She wants to stay in hiding at the cabin, but Ron decides that they should both face their problems. They return to City Hall and announce that Leslie is running for office. Ron tells them that Leslie will need an assistant, so they should ask around. April immediately suggests Andy for the job, and Leslie and Ron agree. Ron goes to his office to await Tammy 1's arrival.
Leslie meets with Ben to tell him about running for office. He interrupts her with the gift. She won't open it, but he shows her what's in it: a Leslie Knope campaign button. Ben deduced by how Leslie was acting that she was offered to run for elected office, and they both agree that they have to break up.
Leslie announces her candidacy for City Council. Tammy 1, an IRS agent, shows up to audit Ron.
Tropes
- Agony of the Feet: Ron lost a pinky toe after his brother shot him with a nail gun as a prank. He also might be missing more than one toe.
- Big Brother Bully: Ron's brother shot him in the toe intentionally as a prank when they were kids. Subverted in that Ron thought the prank was hilarious.
- Bigger Is Better in Bed: According to Dr. Harris, Jerry has the largest penis he has ever seen. Certainly could explain how Jerry got that beautiful wife of his...
- Cannot Spit It Out: Leslie has trouble telling Ben she's running for City Council.
- Career Versus Man: Leslie really doesn't want to give up her dream of running for City Council, but she also still wants to be with Ben. Ben makes it easier for her by breaking up with her.
- Comically Inept Healing: Dr. Harris was so distracted by the size of Jerry's manhood that he forgot to even check Jerry for mumps.
- Comically Missing the Point:
- Andy initially thinks that the picture Sewage Joe sent of his privates was an embarrassing accident and is surprised to hear it was all deliberate.Andy: Oh, my god. He's gotta be so embarrassed. I mean, that's a crazy accident.
- Tom warns Andy that the business card he gave him is magnetic and could erase his credit cards.Andy: Destroy my credit cards. Debt and everything?
- The male city hall workers all send Ann a picture of their genitals to get her to diagnose them.
- Andy initially thinks that the picture Sewage Joe sent of his privates was an embarrassing accident and is surprised to hear it was all deliberate.
- Conspicuous Consumption: Tom hands out gifts featuring the Entertainment 720 logo.
- Crazy-Prepared: Ron kept a backpack in a vent in City Hall to take with him in case Tammy 1 showed up. Turns out Tammy 2 also has one of her own.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: It's generally played for laughs, but Sewage Joe fails to realize that the mumps he has is really a serious problem.
- The Dreaded: Ron absolutely dreads seeing his first ex-wife, as she's even worse than Tammy 2.
- Gag Penis: Dr. Harris is shaken by his encounter with Jerry's member, which he describes as the biggest he's ever seen in all his years of practice.
- Healing Factor: Ron's hair. Three weeks passed since he burned his hair and eyebrows off and not only did it all grow back, but he also gained a full lumberjack beard.
- It's Not You, It's Me: Invoked by Ben, who uses this and other breakup-related stock phrases when he breaks up with Leslie for her.
- Pet the Dog: Tammy 1 is a cold and harsh woman but she performs one of these for April in a way that's Played for Laughs. Tammy 1 tells April to stop slouching and sit up straight, as she's not doing her posture or her breasts any favors. It's then proven right when Andy walks in and compliments April's bosom.
- Running Gag: Andy destroys another computer monitor.
- Sarcasm-Blind: Leslie's crack about the penis photo not being a huge deal goes right over Perd Hapley's head.
- Teeny Weenie: Implied. Leslie says that the picture of Sewage Joe's privates is "not that big of a deal".
