Rod Serling: Felicitations and greetings from this cavern of canvases. Dedicated and devoted to bringing you art lovers a few... in-depth probes through the crust of the not-quite-real, the almost-real, and the frankly-and-flagrantly-unreal. Pictures, paintings, portraits, rendered onto canvas with brush, and sometimes claw.
The Waiting Room
Written by: Rod Serling
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
Rod Serling: Item number one. In a $12.50 pine box reposes the body of a Frontier Frankie, armed-but-disarming. A victim of an Old West philosophy that any man with a good eye, a limber finger, and a well-honed trigger skirts the pastures of immortality. But this chap found out the hard way that immortality is a wish, a word, but infrequently, a reality. He awaits your pleasure in a painting we call: The Waiting Room.
In the Old West, Sam Dichter (Steve Forrest), a boastful, arrogant, and sadistic gunslinger, comes across a body hung from a tree, its face covered with a shroud, before entering a nearby saloon. The saloon's inhabitants include the bartender (Gilbert Roland) and four other cowpokes, Dr. Soames, Joe Bristol, Abe Bennett, and Charlie McKinley (Buddy Ebsen, Albert Salmi, Jim Davis, Lex Barker), gathered around a table playing poker, each of whom appear to know Sam even though he hasn't introduced himself. Throughout his time in the saloon, Sam hears a clock on the wall strike the hour, and at a certain hour, one of the other patrons steps outside and dies, usually through gunfire. Gradually recognizing the other men as former outlaws who lived by their guns, Sam realizes that the saloon is a sort of purgatory (or a waiting room, as they call it) where their souls must stay before they can die by said guns and descend to Hell, and that he may have a good reason to stay in the waiting room himself.
Tropes
- Bookends: The segment essentially functions as a Mobius strip, as Sam discovers his hung corpse and enters the refilled saloon almost exactly as he did in the beginning, and will do so again and again.
- Bystander Syndrome: Joe Bresto reminds Sam that he personally watched him die in his duel with "Kid" Max Auburn and did nothing to stop it.
- Chromosome Casting: The Western motif means that all the characters are male.
- Cowboy Episode: The setting is the Old West, as the spirits of dead gunmen wait for their turn to live their pre-destined deaths.
- Dead All Along: With the possible exception of the bartender, Sam and all the other outlaws were either shot or hung, and they're destined to remain in the saloon until their hour of death chimes.
- Dead Guy on Display: Sam comes across his own body hung from a tree as he makes his way to the saloon. When he repeats this act at the end, he removes the hood to unveil his own face.
- Driven to Suicide: Dr. Soames took his own life after every gunslinger he patched up just went out to rob and kill some more, leading to him thinking that he was spitting in God's eye.
- Dwindling Party: Aside from the bartender, one of the saloon's patrons steps outside and dies when the clock strikes the hour.
- Evil Wears Black: Sam wears a completely black outfit to establish what a blatant villain he is, while the other inhabitants of the saloon wear brown and tan to show how they've wised up and regretted their choices as outlaws.
- Extremely Short Timespan: The entire segment appears to take place over the course of only five hours, indicated by the clock on the wall chiming throughout. There is an air of otherworldly power in the saloon, though, as the hours chime faster and faster over the span of minutes, and Joe Bresto ends up meeting his predetermined death in his duel with Kid Max underneath the hot sun, which shines through the open door when it's meant to be night outside. The ending of the segment also has the clock chiming far more than 12, indicating that there is indeed otherworldly magic in the air.
- Face Death with Dignity: All the dead outlaws in the saloon accept the fact that their time has come, stepping outside and getting shot/hung without complaint.
- "Groundhog Day" Loop: As noted above, the segment is a Mobius strip of Sam and the other gunslingers meeting their predetermined deaths over and over for eternity.
- The Gunslinger: Sam and three of the other patrons of the purgatorial saloon.
- Here We Go Again!: Sam ends the episode coming back to the saloon, just as it appeared in the beginning of the episode, to relive his death again and again.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: In the shock of seeing his own dead body, Sam races back inside the saloon and guzzles the shot of whiskey the bartender was saving for him.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: Visual Pun aside, each of the gunslingers bar Sam knew that their lives of robbing banks, dueling/killing people, and constantly looking over their shoulders just wasn't worth it in the end. Abe Bennett demonstrates it the hardest, as he robbed a bank, killed a teller, got shot in the head, plummeted 50 feet from a church belfry, and had his body put on a horse and rode out of town, for a measly haul of $20.
- Last Note Nightmare: The clock closes out the segment by chiming a lot more than 12.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Dr. Soames shot himself when the outlaws he healed just went right back to their villainous ways.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Sam was already a hot-headed gunman who enjoyed killing in cold blood, but when he asks the bartender who the hanged man he came across earlier was, he demonstrates just how truly cold-blooded and sadistic he was when he shares how much he enjoys watching a man being hung, especially if they twitch and struggle after they drop.
- No Animosity in the Afterlife: No one in the saloon, apart from newcomer Sam, is interested in fighting, killing, or robbing banks anymore, since they're all just tired from their afterlives in limbo.
- Oh, Crap!: Sam has a huge one when he removes the hood of the hung corpse to reveal his own face.
- Purgatory and Limbo: The saloon where the episode is set is one for dead outlaws and those who assisted them in life, though the bartender notes that some of them call it Hell.
- Quick Draw: Joe Bresto was killed in one against "Kid" Max Auburn, which Sam eagerly watched. He nearly challenges Joe to a second one in his rising aggravation, but the clock strikes his hour before they can duel properly.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Joe Bresto tears Sam a new one with his sheer sadism, his refusal to retire from his life of crime, and how he watched him die in his duel with Kid Max without doing anything to save him, nearly leading to the above-mentioned Quick Draw.
- Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Sam refuses to fulfill his destiny, but he ends up performing the actions which led to his hanging, as well as his approaching the saloon, through his disbelief.
- Token Good Teammate: Dr. Soames is the only patron of the saloon to not have been a gunslinger himself. He instead associated himself with them by healing their wounds, and shot himself out of grief when they went right back to looting banks and killing people, convinced that he was spitting in God's eye by letting them live.
- Visual Pun: As noted above, the gunslingers in the saloon play cards all the time while waiting for their hours to sound. They're also weary and worn from living lives of crime and killing, so it can be said that in the posthumous sense, they "know when to fold 'em".
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Charlie McKinley is the first character to die, getting shot in the head as he leaves the saloon, just as he had been in life. As such, the manner of his death and the fact that Sam heard about it is all we know regarding him.
- Weird West: Where a saloon holds the souls of men who lived and died by the gun to remain in limbo until their hour of death comes, and even then, they return when it's over.
- When the Clock Strikes Twelve: The clock on the saloon wall sounds the hour whenever one of the gunmen goes outside to relive their death, and it specifically strikes 12 when Dr. Soames goes out to commit suicide.
Last Rites for a Dead Druid
Based on the short story "Out of the Aeons" by H. P. Lovecraft and Hazel Heald.
Teleplay by: Alvin Sapinsley
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
Rod Serling: To those amongst you with a predilection towards antique collection, or the occasional bargain hunting that takes place in out-of-the-way nooks and stalls, this painting suggests a certain required wariness when it comes to your shopping. Because there are moments when behind some dusty book, or in a cobwebbed corner of an ancient vestibule, you'll uncover a little object d'art which can horrify the heck out of you. Such being the case in this painting, when a lady goes junking about and uncovers a mythological statue that has lived past its time, and intrudes on hers. We call the painting: The Last Rites for a Dead Druid.
Jenny Tarraday (Carol Lynley) and her friend Mildred McVane (Donna Douglas) peruse an antique shop, where Mildred spots a statue of an ancient man grimacing and brandishing a weapon. On Mildred's suggestion, Jenny buys the statue, amused by the uncanny similarity it has to her attorney husband Bruce (Bill Bixby), who reluctantly allows it to stay in the yard. In the coming days, Bruce has nightmares about the statue appearing in his bedroom and falls under the influence of some supernatural force. A background check he performs on the statue's history reveals its likeness to be of Bruce the Black, a pre-Druid sorcerer who partook in rape, acts of debauchery, and the sacrifice of animals and humans. Things soon go from bad to worse when the solidified Bruce gains the ability to verbally communicate with his modern-day counterpart, telling him to kill Jenny so he can be with Mildred.
Tropes
- Ambiguous Innocence: Mildred puts on a facade of appearing to not suspect anything about the statue of Bruce the Black or its resemblance to Bruce the Attorney, but she returns the solidified Attorney!Bruce to the store at the end of the segment, revealing that she knew full well what was going on and was scheming to get him out of the way for her own amusement.
- And I Must Scream: Bruce switches places with his malevolent doppelganger, trapped in the statue and returned to the store by Mildred for her own amusement. At the same time, Bruce the Black eyes Jenny wickedly when she discovers the scene, no doubt going on to do unspeakable things to her.
- Awful Wedded Life: It's slightly hinted at between Jenny and Bruce, as the latter doesn't like the statue his wife buys, and is envious of Mildred's alimony payments giving her a great deal of riches while his partnership at a law firm doesn't pay nearly as enough. He also passionately kisses Mildred when his pre-Druid counterpart's influence enters his mind.
- The Bad Guy Wins:
- Bruce the Black is freed from his statue when Bruce tries to smash it and ends up taking his place, the look on his face signaling that he's already getting ideas of all the horrific things he's going to do to Jenny.
- Mildred, who started the whole mess out of sheer recklessness, returns Bruce to Mr. Bernstein's antique shop at the end, for no other reason than she can.
- Bad People Abuse Animals: Bruce the Black is said to have sacrificed animals as well as human beings to Satan. When his influence possesses the modern day Bruce, it almost makes him burn the neighbors' cat alive over his grill.
- Bait-and-Switch: Noted below, the nightmare Bruce has about his encounter with Bruce the Black's statue has Jenny bolting upright in bed, after which she notices Bruce in the middle of the nightmare and waking him from it himself.
- Bookends: The segment begins with Mildred suggesting that Jenny buy the statue of Bruce the Black from the antique store, and it ends with her returning the solidified 20th century Bruce to the same store.
- Catapult Nightmare: Jenny and Bruce evidently have a shared one where Bruce sees the statue approaching his bed, the former waking up first and then waking the latter.
- Contrived Coincidence: Mr. Bernstein tells Bruce about the evidence-revealing paperwork he found on the same day Jenny and Mildred walked out of his shop with Bruce the Black's statue form, which he even says can be called a coincidence.
- Downer Ending: Bruce ends up taking the place of his Satanic double, who is free to do unspeakable things to the horrified Jenny, and Mildred ends up returning him to Mr. Bernstein's store for her own desires.
- Enmity with an Object: Bruce holds a clear grudge against the statue of his Satanic counterpart, both in the matter of how unnecessary it is and its presence gradually invading his mind.
- Femme Fatale: As part of her reckless nature, Mildred greatly enjoys the possessed Bruce forcing a makeout session with her, and eagerly returns his own statue form to the antique shop.
- Five-Second Foreshadowing: When Jenny hears Bruce yell "Get out of here!" at the statue, he blames it on the neighbors' cat chasing some birds. A minute later, that cat does enter the yard as Bruce is briefly possessed by Bruce the Black, almost roasting the cat alive over the roaring flames of his grill.
- For the Evulz: Mildred lives for the thrill that comes with being reckless, and she's the one who manipulates Jenny into purchasing Bruce the Black's statue form, setting the events of the episode in motion just to watch what happens. Later, while Bruce is under Bruce the Black's influence, he passionately kisses her while Jenny is busy, and she wholeheartedly embraces it, open to scheduling another makeout session and lying to Jenny about anything unusual happening to her husband. Despite this, she also returns his solidified form to the antique store for no reason other than she feels like it.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Jenny thinks nothing sinister about the statue of the evil sorcerer who perfectly resembles her husband, seeing Bruce the Black as her husband's potential ancestor instead of a doppelganger of himself who practices all things Satanic. She also trusts Mildred, who manipulates her into purchasing the statue and makes out with her husband while she's busy, implicitly.
- Identical Stranger: Bruce Tarraday, 20th century attorney, is one of Bruce the Black, a wicked pre-Druid sorcerer who partook in numerous sacrifices in Satan's name.
- Karma Houdini: Mildred gets away with starting the whole mess with the accursed statue by duping Jenny into buying it. She also suffers no consequences for making out with Bruce (albeit as he's possessed) while Jenny's inside the house, and returns Bruce's new statue form to the store because she just feels like it.
- Living Statue: Bruce the Black is alive inside his statue, as he's able to telepathically communicate with Attorney!Bruce, and he's finally released as the other Bruce takes his place, free to continue his devilish work.
- Match Cut: Bruce reading the document that details the history and origins of Bruce the Black in Mr. Bernstein's shop cuts to him reading the document to Jenny at his house.
- Mr. Exposition: Mr. Bernstein, owner of the antique shop where Jenny buys Bruce the Black's statue. When Bruce confronts him after having a nightmare about the statue and discovering that it seems to have left a trail of footprints burned into his lawn, the shopkeeper digs up some old paperwork he found after Jenny and Mildred left that day, revealing Bruce the Black's identity and history to Bruce.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Bruce the Black's eyes glow in statue form, after Bruce yells at him to get out of his life. Jenny witnesses it, but she thinks that it's a lighting trick played by the setting sun.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Marta, the Tarradays' housekeeper, freaks out when she spies Bruce trying to roast the neighbors' cat on the grill, declaring to Jenny that she's quitting first thing tomorrow morning.
- Sealed Evil in a Can: Bruce the Black's statuesque form ultimately releases the sorcerer in the end, as Bruce takes his place. Before that, the antique shop's store keeper Mr. Bernstein tells Mildred and Jenny that he found the statue in the stockroom 10 years ago, when he first bought the store, and it's been on display ever since.
- Taken for Granite: The fate of Bruce, after his malevolent sorcerer counterpart is freed. Bruce the Black was said to have cast a similar spell of petrification on those who interfered with his occult rituals.
- Toxic Friend Influence: Mildred is alluded to as one of these by Bruce, who's annoyed by her reckless and unpredictable whims. It's proven true when she persuades Jenny into buying the statue of his pre-Druid sorcerer counterpart, makes out with him when he's briefly possessed and Jenny is in the house, and returns his petrified form to the store for no reason other than she wants to see what happens.
- Voodoo Doll: After experiencing a nightmare of the statue that she persuaded Jenny to buy, Bruce eagerly wishes for a voodoo doll of Mildred to stab with pins.
- Vorpal Pillow: Bruce the Black suggests that Bruce do this to the slumbering Jenny so he can run off with Mildred.
- With Friends Like These...: Bruce is right to distrust Mildred, and not just because of her alimony giving her easy riches, but because she's completely and utterly reckless. Case in point, she manipulates Jenny into buying the statue that drives the plot, makes out with Bruce behind Jenny's back, and brings Bruce back to Mr. Bernstein's shop when he's stuck in said statue, simply because she can.
