Quotes / The Unpronounceable

Maj. Thornberg: What was the weapon you used?
Col. O'Neill: [innocently] Weapon?
Maj. Thornberg: Our cameras saw some sort of weapon.
Col. O'Neill: Oh. Well, it's hard to say.
Maj. Thornberg: Some sort of state secret?
Col. O'Neill: No, just difficult to pronounce.
Stargate SG-1, "1969" Regarding the Zat'nik'tel.

Marge: That's very generous of you, Mr...
Alien: To pronounce it correctly, I would have to... pull out your tongue.
Marge: Ugh.

"No, we're not all doomed, one man here still has a chance. One man, can take a stand for all of us. And that man's name is F- well, we can't pronounce his real name, so we call him Fez!"
Eric, That '70s Show

"... I told you to get used to hearing that name, and if possible, get used to saying it."
Herman Cain on Rod Blagojevich

"Most mortals are incapable of even hearing the names of demons, never mind such niceties as pronouncing them. Sometimes highly trained musicians will pick up a few syllables, and echoes of the names have been known to haunt the dreams of the newly deaf. For no reason known to anyone, armadillos can hear them easily, although they generally just roll up into a ball."
Digger, comic 716

"Hello. My name can only be expressed by focusing pure waves of heat into a form of communication deadly to your kind."
Fire elemental, Speak With Monsters

Del Portus' wife(?): PQWRSTL!?
W817 note , issue #11

???: I'm ♥♪!?, but it's hard to pronounce so... Call me "Geno", after the doll.

Connor: My name is Ratohnhaké;ton.
Achilles: Right... well I'm not even going to try to pronounce that.

"The proper pronounciation of 'Cthulhu' is 'Bob.'"
— Meme

"My name is unpronounceable by Earthlings when sober," said the man from Mars.
Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

Douglas: Where is this Kicky-Tarry-Jack, anyway?
Carolyn: Are you referring to Qikiqtarjuaq?
Douglas: [long pause; frostily] ...You're really proud of yourself for learning how to say that, aren't you?
Carolyn: [smug] Yes!

Travis in Duluth, MN: Ah, hi! I was just wondering: how do you pronounce your name?
Cthulhu: What?
Travis in Duluth, MN: Well I was looking it up online, and I found several different pronunciations. I was just wondering...
Cthulhu: Kid, do you have nine tongues?
Travis in Duluth, MN: What?!
Cthulhu: Tongues, kid. Do you have nine of 'em?
Travis in Duluth, MN: Well—
Cthulhu: Is your mouth more than six feet wide?
Travis in Duluth, MN: Well, no.
Cthulhu: Then give it up! It's an alien language; your little skin-flap of a mouth can't handle it. Besides it's more of a mental thing than an actual word, so just...give it up. Next caller! You're on with us again for Calls for... um, me.

Dandy: Hey stranger, time for an intro. So, what's your name?
Nynamo: Nynamo.
Dandy: Say what?
QT: Could you repeat that?
Nynamo: Nynamo.
Dandy: Huh!? What is that?
QT: Who knows?
Nynamo: Jeez, it's a common name...
Dandy: Well, in honor of you looking like a cat, how about... Meow?
Nynamo: Oh come on, you guys. Don't do me like that. I'm a Betelgeusian!
Dandy: (quietly to QT) Whatever, he is totally a space cat.
Nynamo: No I'm not! Dammit!
Space Dandy, "Live With the Flow, Baby"

So, uh... How do you pronounce music notes? Why does this game have emojis?

"Transma-ma-ma-ma... malig- whatever his name is, that motherfucker's dead!"
Samuel L. Jackson on the transmutantstein, Heroes of Newerth

Atomic Robo: How do you pronounce that?
Doctor Dinosaur: The way it is spelled: H'SSSSK!
Robo: What, seriously? Is that a name or is something stuck in your throat?
Dr. Dino: It is a good and proper name!
Robo: "Hhhthhhk?" C'mon, it sounds like you've got a hairball.
Dr. Dino: H'SSSSK! It is H'SSSSK! Not "Hhthhhk"! Completely different!
Atomic Robo, "Why Doctor Dinosaur Hates Atomic Robo"

Spike: Oh, balls! You didn't say the thing was a Glarghk Guhl Kashma'nik.
Xander: That's 'cause I can't say Glarma— (demon hits him)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Normal Again"

Jax: Seriously, is that, like, Russian? Scandinavian? Pig Latin?
Sarge: My family history ain't part of the deal.
Jax: How do you even spell it? Sounded like 57 syllables.
Sarge: Well, you need a Mandarin keyboard to get it exactly right, and the fifth letter is an emoji.
Red vs. Blue, Sarge's original name

Blinky: Not a rock. Dwärkstone.
Jim: Dork-stone?
Blinky: Dwärkstone.
Claire: Dork-stone?
Aaarrrgghh!!!: Close enough.
Blinky: Dwärkstone is incredibly rare, highly volatile, and the only guaranteed way to expel a gruesome.
Toby: All I'm hearing is "dork-stone."

Mr. Brown: What's your name? Do bears even have names?
Paddington: Of course we do! My name is [rrrRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!click].
Mr. Brown: ... I beg your pardon?
Mr. Brown: ... Right.
Paddington: Well, go on. You try it. Back of the throat.
Mr. Brown: [Reluctantly] BrrrRRRRRRRrrrrr?
Paddington: [Coldly] ... Mr. Brown. That is extremely rude.