"Oh, the blood trail maze...sure, I could go on and on about how awful it is and how unfun it is, but isn't that just beating a dead horse? The question we all should be asking is: 'Who thought this was a good idea?' And more importantly, how did this get past testing? How did anyone look at this and say, 'Yes! A semi-blind jumping puzzle that requires precision jumping in a third-person shooter. That's what's going to win us awards.' I guess it'd be the same people who thought that they could hold a company down for 10 years based on two game franchises, one of which has become the punchline to a joke everyone is sick of. So great job 3D Realms. Great job."
"So there you go, Metropolis Zone. It's fucking hard, and annoying, and I HATE IT - but at the same time, it's a good level."
"These levels [World 9] can range from mildly annoying to downright frustrating, especially when trying to collect the level's Star Coins. 9-7,9-7,9-7! I'll leave it at that."
It's beginning to look just like an ice world,
Oh boy, here we go
It's a platformer's greatest foe,
Moving around is slow,
Because of all the irritating snow!
Yes, it's clear that we're in the token Ice World,
Warm yourself with rage!
For instead of you fighting through,
Your controls are fighting you!
Through the whole—darn—stage!
You've been through meadows and desert and water and forest and sky, all since level 1.
Now is the time for your talents to shine
As you brave the tundra a ton.
And slip and slip and slip and slip and fall onto your bum!
Oh, we're struggling through the cliche ice world,
Falling icicles hit the floor as you beg and plead "NO MORE!"
In this frozen dump!
"AAHH! FUCKING MARBLE GARDEN!"
See, this place is just full of hazards that you can't do a thing about. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of water and that's kinda nice though because the blues don't... you don't have to worry about it because you've got a lot of blues, but yeah you've got to worry about so much other crap being thrown at you that you can't do a thing about... And you know what? You guys might not believe this unless you've played this game before, but that is not even the worst part. The worst part of this dungeon has yet to be seen.
"The levels that are super-hard and repetitive are my absolute FAVORITE! Every game should have at least six of those!"
—Absolutely no one, ever
Tails: Hmm. You found [all my clones] then.
Tails: Yes? Is that all you have to say?
"Can you tell me something? Why does every Zelda game have to have a water temple and why do they always have to suck so much?! Ocarina of Time's water temple? I'd rather drown. Twilight Princess's water temple? I'd rather drown! And OH GOD the Great Bay Temple from Majora's Mask! (voice quivering) I'd rather drown..."
"In case you ever wondered what a difficulty curve looks like, yeah, this stage is kind of the definition of it... or at least an example of it going like horribly horribly wrong."
"Leave a gap in your stack / trigger an alien attack / getting ganked by a rogue / THAT ONE FUCKING LEVEL IN BATTLETOADS!"