(parodying "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt)
You're passable, it's true.
I saw your face.... it's okay.
So I figure that you'll do
'til I find somebody new.
— Todd in the Shadows, in "Top Ten Songs About Mediocre Romances"
He strained to listen for what was missing, and felt that the music was like a flightless bird that didn't even know what capacity it had lost. It walked very well, but it walked where it should soar, it walked where it should swoop, it walked where it should climb and bank and dive, it walked where it should thrill with the giddiness of flight. It never even looked up.
"He's colossal, stupendous! One might even go so far as to say he's mediocre."
"That's good. That's like a forty-degree day. Ain't nobody got nothing to say about a forty-degree day. Fifty? Bring a smile to your face. Sixty? Shit, niggers is damn near barbecuing on that motherfucker. Go down to twenty, niggers get they bitch on, get they blood complainin', but forty? Nobody give a FUCK about forty! Nobody remember forty, and y'all niggers is giving me way too many forty-degree-days, what the FUCK?!"
— Stringer Bell, The Wire
"Nobody hates Weekend at Bernie's! The WAB films are generally regarded as so unremarkably mediocre they don't even attract any trolls who care enough to shit on it. Believe me, I've tried to get in debates with people about it!"
—Jake English, Homestuck
"That's what makes reviewing this episode so difficult: it's not actually bad, it just has so much you have to sit through that's just uncomfortable. It's a sci-fi prostate exam."
— SF Debris, "The Hunted"
"I think the highest and lowest points are the important ones. All the points in between are, well, in between."
If The Lonely Lady had even a shred of style and humor, it could qualify as the worst movie of the year. Unfortunately, it's not that good. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there in Hollywood and it's not enough to be merely awful. You need something to set yourself apart. Pia Zadora tries, and she has pluck, but she's just not bad enough all by herself.
"It's okay, but that's the problem. It's so 'okay' that it's not even worth existing. So bland and mediocre that it's hard to even come up with legitimate complaints."
As a show, Primeval is solidly not bad, which is, of course, the exact worst thing a show can possibly be for the purposes of blogging about it. The staggeringly execrable and the absolutely phenomenal are both fairly easy to write about. The almost great but fatally flawed is dead easy. Basically competent schedule filler, on the other hand, is absolutely murderous.
.....................(five minutes pass)....................."I have nothing to say about this car." (walks away)
"It's mediocre. I'm not overwhelmed or underwhelmed. I'm just whelmed."
— "Mulberry's 2009 Fall TV Preview"
"To tell the truth, I actually find it difficult to talk about the writing, not because it's so bad, but because it's so astonishingly mediocre. The plot? Mind-numbingly average. The characters? Despicably one-note."
— Phillip on Season of the Witch
"Is it a good movie? Well let me tell you something: This. Film. Was. Okay. Just... okay. I mean... not good, not bad, it's just... okay. How is the monster? It's okay. How is the acting? It's okay. How are the special effects? It's all okay! It's like a giant flaming nuclear ball of adequacy!"
Yes, Telenet's quality control was lacking. For every Exile series, the company churned out twice as many unremarkable titles... It wasn't as though the typical Telenet release was even memorably bad; it was more the game equivalent of unflavored oatmeal.
"It's so-so, middle of the road, decent, it's just okay and that is actually...okay."