Quotes / Last-Second Word Swap

"I like a man with a big...vocabulary."

Shirley: What is going on?
Troy: We're trying to get Jeff ready for the fi-iiiiiii.... iiiighhhh... t. (whispers) I couldn't think of another word.
Jeff: Idiot. He meant we were figh- ...ting. It is hard to think of another word.

Lindsay: If you say no, you're just gonna drive him to Ann.
George Michael: Hey Dad, could you drive me to Ann's?
Michael: Nnnnn YES!

Rocko and Filbert: [Opening the door, angry as all out] WHAT IN THE [Finds the deportation officer at the door] HELloooooo.

Porky: Oh son of a bi-bi...son of a bi-bi, son of a bi-bi, son of a bi-bi...gun. Heh heh! I bet you thought I was going to say "son of a bitch", didn't you?
Looney Tunes Blooper Reel

"Where is 'Hold Me Touch Me'? [checking photos] Kiss Me Feel Me, Clinch Me Pinch Me, Lick Me Bite Me, Suck Me F—Ah, here she is."
Max Bialystock, The Producers (2005)

"For my own part," said Captain Aubrey, "I have no notion of disliking a man for his beliefs, above all if he was born with them. I find I can get along very well with Jews or even..." The P of Papists was already formed, and the word was obliged to come out as Pindoos.
The Wine-Dark Seanote 

"RUN. INTO. THE. BULLETS!!!—friendliness pellets"
Flowey, Undertale

"And one of your fellow subjects has proven to be...difficult to reason with" *Cue Omar wreathed in his own fire*
Archivist, Chiasmata

Banner: Even if Barton didn't tell Loki about the tower, it was still all over the news.
Cap: The Stark Tower? That big, ugly...
(Death Glare from Tony)
Cap: ...building in New York?