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Quotes: Implausible Deniability

Fiction

"I'm asking you, please no!
It isn't right, it isn't fair!
There was no parking anywhere
I think that hydrant wasn't there"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "The Parking Ticket" ("Once More with Feeling")

Karin: I don't see what the big deal is with ghosts. I don't even believe in them.
Yuzu: Karin, I don't get how you can say something like that. I thought you had the power to see spirits too.
Karin: I'm in permanent denial. Just seeing them doesn't make me believe in them.
Bleach

Cap. Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Cap. Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.

Etna: Looks like I have to resort to the politician's golden rule: "If they can't prove it, deny, deny, deny."

Mrs. Teasdale: I saw you leave with my own eyes!
Chicolini: Who you gonna believe, me or you own eyes?

Susan: My hair changed color. It happens!
Nanase: Hair doesn't just spontaneously change color!
Susan: I stand by my ridiculous claim.

Eminem: You just caught this bitch cheatin'!
While you at work, she's with some dude trying to get off?...
Dr. Dre: Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit?
Eminem: What, she tripped, fell, landed on his dick?
Guilty Conscience

Peasant: Here's a corpse for ya.
"Corpse": I'm not dead!
Undertaker: What was that?
Peasant: Nothing, here's your ninepence
"Corpse": I'm not dead.
Undertaker: He says he's not dead.
Peasant: Yes he is.
"Corpse": I feel fine!
Rainbow Dash: What's with the croquet Mallet?
Rarity: What croquet Mallet?
Rainbow Dash: Uh, the one in your mouth?

HOW CAN YOU PROVE IT WAS ME?!

Fred Randall: It wasn't me!
Bill Overbeck: What do you mean, 'it wasn't you'? We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!

"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything."

"I was not expecting that to happen," the young man said simply, trying to justify the blood that soiled his clothes.

Halle: We have reasons to believe Kira is an exceptionally talented and highly skilled genius member of the Japanese NPA's Cybercrimes division.
Light: Clearly, you must be talking about Matsuda.
"She says that Captain Kurotsuchi has dartboards with your photo on them all over his office."
"Pure coincidence," Urahara said quickly.
"And that he goes into a frothing sweat whenever someone mentions your name."
"Well, there are a lot of people with that name."
"And Captain Kyouraku of Eighth confirmed your identity. Incidentally, he wants to talk to you about someone called Lisa . . ."
Urahara shot a nervous glance at the door. "All right," he said, "there is maybe a possibility that I was the person who was previously in command of Twelfth, but I'd rather not admit to that because I was exiled and there were all sorts of death threats and other minor problems."
Phoenix ran his hand through his hair. "But everyone knows you are."
"Yes," Urahara said, "but that doesn't mean I have to admit to it."
Order in the Court, a Phoenix Wright / Bleach crossover fic

Trish Hidge, from the mayor’s office, called a press conference today in which she stood in front of a large truck, painted in bright neon colors and decorated with flashing lights, and resolutely denied the truck’s existence. She continued this denial for several minutes, and through a lengthy round of questioning from the gathered reporters, although it should be noted that many of the questions took the form of just pointing at the truck and raising an eyebrow. Ms Hidge admitted afterwards that the conference was simply a workout for her denial skills, which she says she must keep sharp through constant practice, and which she also says do not exist.

Real Life

"It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”

Rob Brydon: It was a lie, and he lied even as he was telling us whether or not it was a lie.

"So according to CeeLo, if I drugged him, waited until he passed out and then repeatedly dropped an anvil on his head until he died, it wouldn’t be murder, because his ghost wouldn’t remember it...CeeLo should’ve said that he was completely unconscious when he wrote those tweets therefore he didn’t really tweet them. His logic is sound."
DListed, "Cee Lo Green Doesn’t Know How Rape Works"