"So one day, the meter reader comes by your house — uninvited — and gets himself a big surprise. 'Fluffy' or 'Princess' mauls the guy up pretty good. You're facing 3-to-5 in an orange jumpsuit.
Oh no you aren't! Better Call Saul™!
Remember this key phrase: That's not my tiger. Together we'll prove the ancient truth: that the best defense is a good offense. Where'd the tiger come from? The zoo! And you can bet we're gonna sue the bars off of them. What were you doing buying 80 lbs. of raw meat every week? Ever hear of the Atkin's Diet?"
Karin: I don't see what the big deal is with ghosts. I don't even believe in them.
Yuzu: Karin, I don't get how you can say something like that. I thought you had the power to see spirits too.
Karin: I'm in permanent denial. Just seeing them doesn't make me believe in them.
Cap. Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Cap. Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
Etna: Looks like I have to resort to the politician's golden rule: "If they can't prove it, deny, deny, deny."
Mrs. Teasdale: I saw you leave with my own eyes!
Chicolini: Who you gonna believe, me or you own eyes?
Susan: My hair changed color. It happens!
Nanase: Hair doesn't just spontaneously change color!
Eminem: You just caught this bitch cheatin'!
While you at work, she's with some dude trying to get off?...
Dr. Dre: Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit?
Eminem: What, she tripped, fell, landed on his dick?
Peasant: Here's a corpse for ya.
"Corpse": I'm not dead!
Undertaker: What was that?
Peasant: Nothing, here's your ninepence
"Corpse": I'm not dead.
Undertaker: He says he's not dead.
Peasant: Yes he is.
"Corpse": I feel fine!
Peasant: Shut it!
Rainbow Dash: What's with the croquet Mallet?
Rarity: What croquet Mallet?
Fred Randall: It wasn't me!
Bill Overbeck: What do you mean, 'it wasn't you'? We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!
"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything."
"I was not expecting that to happen," the young man said simply, trying to justify the blood that soiled his clothes.
Halle: We have reasons to believe Kira is an exceptionally talented and highly skilled genius member of the Japanese NPA's Cybercrimes division.
Light: Clearly, you must be talking about Matsuda.
At that precise moment, Matsuda's printer viciously ate ten sheets of paper at once, choked on them, and died.
"She says that Captain Kurotsuchi has dartboards with your photo on them all over his office."
"Pure coincidence," Urahara said quickly.
"And that he goes into a frothing sweat whenever someone mentions your name."
"Well, there are a lot of people with that name."
"And Captain Kyouraku of Eighth confirmed your identity. Incidentally, he wants to talk to you about someone called Lisa . . ."
Urahara shot a nervous glance at the door. "All right," he said, "there is maybe a possibility that I was the person who was previously in command of Twelfth, but I'd rather not admit to that because I was exiled and there were all sorts of death threats and other minor problems."
Phoenix ran his hand through his hair. "But everyone knows you are."
"Yes," Urahara said, "but that doesn't mean I have to admit to it."
"It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”
Rob Brydon: It was a lie, and he lied even as he was telling us whether or not it was a lie.
"So according to CeeLo, if I drugged him, waited until he passed out and then repeatedly dropped an anvil on his head until he died, it wouldn’t be murder, because his ghost wouldn’t remember it...CeeLo should’ve said that he was completely unconscious when he wrote those tweets therefore he didn’t really tweet them. His logic is sound."