Quotes: Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
“Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Cleveland: They're shooting at us!
Peter: Good thing bad guys have such terrible shots!
Guard: (shooting in random directions)
Man, these guys are elusive!
Martin Crane: A man's supposed to honor his agreements. Didn't you learn anything from that movie?
No casualties? Turner:
No, sir. All well. Fortunately Vaughn's jackboots couldn't... couldn't shoot a flying elephant.
"Harry! You're alive! And you're a horrible shot!"
"And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise."
Beast Man uses one of Grayskull's high tech kill-you guns to blast at the fleeing He-Man, altogether forgetting the cardinal rule of cartoon villains: they've got the worst aim in the universe.
"I don't even really have to dodge. He just kind of misses."
"The great thing about Jeremy's shooting is that you are perfectly safe just as long as you stand right in front of the target."
Have we ever hit anyone with these guns? Stormtrooper 2:
I hit a bird once.
— Family Guy
, "Something Something Something Dark Side"
A fierce battle follows, during which about 1 in 10 shots fired actually hits something.
Why don't we meet anyone nice? Cat:
Why don't we ever meet anyone who can shoot straight?
"You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet in front of you!"
(a shot misses him and hits a cow
) It's a shame to be such a lousy shot. Jolly Jumper:
You'll not hear me complain.
"Look son, being a good shot, being quick with a pistol, that don't do no harm, but it don't mean much next to being cool-headed. A man who will keep his head and not get rattled under fire, like as not, he'll kill ya. It ain't so easy to shoot a man anyhow, especially if the son-of-a-bitch is shootin' back at you."
Go-To-Guy: You realise we weren't trying to kill you. We were only trying to scare you into surrendering.
Well that's one way to explain why you can't shoot straight.
You will be terrible, when it comes to shooting you're just terrible
You'll shoot at 210 Gungans and not a single one will die
We'll get the last laugh on Palpatine's ass
By building him an army of guys
"Sheena, this guy's aim's so bad, I'll be safer if he's targeting me!"
"Where do we get these guys, Stormtroopers 'R' Us?"
(Well, those turning around would see.... A dead storm trooper. Some how the fucker missed, at point blank, and nailed his teammate instead.) Stormtroopers
(One of the stormtroopers shoots at the executioner. Also missing, and hitting his buddy. Causing the rest to look at him too. And one fires at him. And well... Yeah, this repeats, and starts up a chain reaction. Haken sighs.) Haken
: These guys are more dangerous to themselves than to us, hell they're more dangerous to themselves than we are.
"So is there a Decepticon school where they teach you how to miss?"
"You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to 'miss'."
"When has an action hero ever, even once, been killed by machinegun fire, no matter how many hundreds of rounds? The hit men should simply reject them and say, 'No can do, Boss. They never work in this kind of movie.'"
: Joker basically waits for Dent’s prison convoy to end up in a tunnel, and then starts shooting it with automatic weapons, then a big ol’ shotgun, and then a straight-up press-9-in-Half-Life
rocket launcher. He blows up basically every police car in the convoy other than Dent’s truck, because Racer X
is an amazing driver. Chris:
(Secretly unknown to Speed, Jim Gordon is actually his brother Rex!)
"Were these Cybermen reject stock or something? One of them blasts away at Ace about twenty times and fails to hit her and yet she hits the bull’s-eye first time with her gold coin and takes his chest out. Shouldn’t they have targeting sensors in their eyes and shit like that that allows them to target things accurately? Then you get Ace taking out three of them that have her cornered…what has happened to these once menacing creations? I DON’T BELIEVE IT!"
I don't know, I just feel like we all have really great aim until the second we put on these helmets...
"Excellent shot, Mister Joe, except for the fact that you missed. Fire again!"
"And now we partake in the best part of any Arnold movie, when everyone in the entire world tries to hit this guy, and not one friggin' bullet touches him. STOP SHOOTING AT THE GROUND, YA MORONS!!!"
They expend most of their ammunition (and half their team) in a single firefight, and they don't hit a head once. Never mind basic survival, that's statistically impossible. They hit the walls, the roof, the floor, and destroy the "safety controls" on the experimental mega-zombie containment units littered about the room, which releases even more undead; they shoot so badly they actually increase the number of zombies.
"He's a badass, but like many heroes, he's had an awful lot of help from henchmen with terrible aim."
"Bond uses Jinx's grappling line (which still hasn't been taken down) to get to the roof. He then uses it again to run down the roof and head for Graves' ice skimmer. As he gets in, Zao's henchmen keep missing, despite being about ten feet away and shooting at a mostly stationary target."