For quotes from the Discworld book, see Quotes/Discworld
"I could... set fire to the building...."
— Milton, Office Space.
"Time to go postal."
— Gex
"Let me explain something to you, Dave. There are two kinds of angry people: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier."
— Buddy, Anger Management
Mac: I just applied for a guard job at a post office.
Thorny: You'll finally get to shoot someone.
"Hey Paula, I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain...if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground."
— David, The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Nelson: You ever gone on a killing spree?
Postal Worker: (laughs) No, no. The day of the gun-totin', disgruntled postman shootin' up the place went out with the Macarena.
Principal Skinner: Well, I'm just glad I work in an elementary school.
—The Simpsons, "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday"
In 1765 the British Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which decreed that if the colonists wanted to buy stamps, they had to wait in long lines at inconveniently located postal facilities staffed by surly clerks who periodically went on murderous rampages with semiautomatic muskets.
— Dave Barry's Complete History Of The Millenium
Population pressure and the stress of modern life may cause an increase in violent tendencies. The urban environment is an incubator for all sorts of undesirable behaviors. However, much his atrocities disgust us, he may actually consider himself a hero. This is common among those who are referred to by the popular slang "going postal". In his tortured mind, he may feel he was battling against impossible odds. It is not unusual for some individuals to believe that the entire fate of the world rests with them. In the end, our subject displays all the classic symptoms of a paranoid delusional. We may never know exactly what set him off, but, rest assured, we will have plenty of time to study him.
—The Psychiatrist, Postal's ending
How much more of this job can I take?
My boss never gives me a single break
Haven't had a raise in seven years
I wish I were in bed but instead I'm stuck here
I got passed over for that big promotion
So now I'm counting up my ammunition!
Shoot all your problems away
Shoot all your problems away
Grab your gun, now you're having fun
Shoot all your problems away
— TomSka, Shoot all your problems away
