Funny / Going Postal

  • When Mr. Pump captures Moist:
    The broom must have been kept as an ornament, because it certainly hadn't been used much on the accumulations in the stable yard. On the positive side, this meant [Moist] had fallen into something soft. On the negative side, it meant that he had fallen into something soft.
  • Moist's various courtship efforts with Adora Belle Dearheart.
  • Adora Belle Dearheart fending off an unwanted drunken suitor in the Mended Drum. She does more with a stiletto heel than Dirty Harry ever did with a Magnum.
    "I was forced, practically at knifepoint, to take ballet lessons as a child which means I can kick like a mule, you are sitting in front of me, and I have another shoe."
  • Stanley's dealing with the fire by carefully reading and obeying all Post Office Regulations: "...and await A, rescue, or B, death."
  • There are a number of asides about Anoia, the very minor Goddess of Things Getting Stuck In Drawers. Originally she's the least important god to appear in the series since Om wound up having just one worshipper back in Small Gods, but when the citizens of Ankh-Morpork grasp that she's one of four possible candidates for divinely inspiring a follower to find a huge buried treasure, their interest in kitchen drawers and things that get stuck in them experiences a rapid increase. Rattle thy drawers, amen!
  • During the rebuilding of the Post Office, Miss Maccalariat informs Moist that someone asked the post office staff if they "embrace divertingly". While Moist eventually figures out she means "embrace diversity", this is the initial reaction:
    There was a pregnant pause. It gave birth to a lot of little pauses, each one more deeply embarrassing than its parent.
  • The Golem Trust has had a brick thrown through its window. Adora Belle's reaction is to calmly pick it up and file it under B.
  • The post office starts bringing in money:
    [']People have been giving us letters to post, sir. Not many yet and some of them are a bit, er, jokey, but we got a penny off'f them every time. That's seven pence, sir,' he added proudly, proffering the coins.
    'Oh boy, we eat tonight!' said Moist[.]
  • The sheer fact that "Bloody Stupid" Johnson was able to design a wheel whose value of pi is exactly three because the actual value seemed untidy to him. The thing itself even distorts part of the universe around it in order to exist.