Funny: Going Postal
- When Mr. Pump captures Moist:
The broom must have been kept as an ornament, because it certainly hadn't been used much on the accumulations in the stable yard. On the positive side, this meant [Moist] had fallen into something soft. On the negative side, it meant that he had fallen into something soft.
- Moist's various courtship efforts with Adora Belle Dearheart.
- Adora Belle Dearheart fending off an unwanted drunken suitor in the Mended Drum. She does more with a stiletto heel than Dirty Harry ever did with a Magnum.
"I was forced, practically at knifepoint, to take ballet lessons as a child which means I can kick like a mule, you are sitting in front of me, and I have another shoe."
- The Bar Brawl rules.
- In both the original novel and the video adaptation, Stanley's dealing with the fire by carefully reading and obeying all Post Office Regulations: "...and await A, rescue, or B, death."