Quotes / Game Grumps

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"If I can't be the best, I sure as hell can be the WOOOOORST!"

—Jon in part 2 of You Don't Know Jack

"You've got to make a statement. You've got to look inside yourself and say: 'What am I willing to put up with today?' ^answer NOT. FUCKING. THIS!!!"

—Arin in part 20 of Sonic 06

"Don’t fucking judge me, I can make what I want- I can make my own sandwich."

—Arin

"Life is a repeated endless kick to the nuts. And then when you think you got the hang of it, Life is like 'Hey, I got these new boots I’d like to try out on your nuts.'"

—Danny

"Well, I live on a planet called Earth. The population is six millbillion or something."

—Arin

"Check this shit out."

—Arin, usually right before he fucks up.

"My goal is to pee in every major body of water on earth."

—Danny

"Aw jimminey-jillakers. Gee-whiz Batman. Aw frick. Oh jeezum."

—Arin

"There ain't no quittin' time in Octopus Gas Station Town."

Danny

"You think I came out' the pussy drawing fuckin' Mozart?!"

—Arin in part 69 of Super Mario Galaxy

Arin: Wait, where did the—
Danny: [The star]'s in the center one. It's the center.
Arin: Oh, go fuck yourself.
Danny: Nonono, it's okay. You can do this. You can do this.
Arin: Uuuuuuhh.
Danny: It's okay.
(Arin launches Mario into the Pachinko Game, is hovering directly above the center)
Danny: Yes. Yes, just fall. Just—
(physics engine suddenly sends Mario sliding away and flying to his death)
Arin: OH! OH MY GOD! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Danny: What happened?
Arin: WHAT HAPPENED?!
(Mario falls into the abyss)
Danny: NOOOOO—(laughs)
Arin: I'm out. I'm OUT.
Danny (laughing): What happened?
Arin: I'm OUT.
Danny (laughing): Oh my God.
Arin: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT? THAT IS BULLSHIT!
Danny (laughing): Oh my Go—
Arin: DON'T EVEN TELL ME THAT SHIT'S FOR REAL!
Danny (whispering): Barry, keep this in.
Arin: I am so fuck—AAAAGGHH!
(loud banging noises in the distance)
Danny (laughing): Oh my God.
Arin: DAMMIT!
Danny: That's legit anger.
(Arin cries)
Danny (laughing): Oh my God, Arin.
Arin: MARIO SUNSHIIIINNNEEEE!
Danny: What happened?
Arin: (sound of something breaking) AAAAAGGGHHH!
Danny: OH MY GOD! (laughs) Oh my God! Oh my God, that was a lot of property damage just there.
Arin: EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!
(Danny laughs more, Arin cries more)
Danny: Ugh...Arin...Arin?
Arin: WHAT?
Danny: You maybe, just, wanna go back to Gelato Beach and we can just hang out and have some fun..have some fun times?

—Arin's meltdown in part 32 of Super Mario Sunshine

"Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus christ fuck dude motherfucking Facebook movie bullshit jesus can you fucking believe this shit"
"Goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss Twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck i just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man"
"Motherfucking Spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I'm very tired"
"No man i’ll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit i have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude i just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spiderman crazy Winklevoss Twins rowing trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook i don’t like dying i can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all i can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook?"
"MARK ZUCKERBERG"
—Arin's texts in part 18 of Super Mario 64

"Wouldn't it be funny if you...lose a family member?"

—Danny in part 11 of The Legend of Zelda

"Everything's a joke."

—Arin in part 9 of Sonic '06

"Inside, we're all a bunch of sadists."

—Arin in part 8 of Super Mario Maker

"The only people who don't like sluts are the people who don't get any."

—Suzy in Plants vs. Zombies

"Are you hungry? We should go to INFINININ-AND-OUT BURGER!"

—Danny, drunk on the power of the INFINIDAGGER!

"Am I really getting a lesson in morality from someone that just told a corporation to jizz on his face?"

—Danny, Part 73 of Super Mario Maker

"Why do people watch this?!? Don't watch this!!! UNSUBSCRIBE!!!"

—Arin in part 15 of Sonic Heroes

"You seem like a decent person, except for your feet."

—Jamie Lee Curtis, referring to Arin

Arin: Come on! I gave you a lace parasol! A tea set! A bracelet!

Dan: She's not that into you. Gotta take that hint, bro.

Arin: I am in love with you! I wanna put my face between your boobs!

Dan: I mean, obviously goes without saying. Come here, man, bring it in, bring it in, bring it in. There you go, there's my special guy. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay Big Cat, it's gonna be okay. Let's go to Drop The Bass Island. Your hair smells great, by the way.

Arin: But she said she'd think about it!

Dan: Don't nestle into my lap!

Arin: She said she'd think about it and she didn't think about it! She just went and took her shower, and "Oooh, it's too hot"

Dan: Suzy! Suzy! Come get your man!

Arin: But then the parasol!

Dan: Next time on Game Grumps...

Arin: ...so she wouldn't get hot anymore, she shield herself from the sun! And she can make tea with her friends... NOT ME, OBVIOUSLY!!!

Dan: Stop, stop, enough. It's gonna be all right. Come one, let's play some Rieger, okay? Come on, buddy. Ross is gonna come over and we're gonna hang out and have a good time. I'll get you ice cream, you want some ice cream? I can craft it in the shape of Helena's boobs.

—Arin's meltdown in part 6 of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2

"No matter how hard you work and how big a celebrity you become, you'll never be as famous as cheese."

—Dan

"Pancakes don't taste any better or worse when they are filled with hatred."

—Arin

Arin: And then (pulls the cord on the Beyblade) you let it rip!

Dan: I got it! (tries to catch it as it spins off the table) OWW!!!

Arin: Why would you try and catch the spinning metal blade from another country?!

Dan: I thought it was like a dredel— Yeah, I really should disinfect this...

—From the Ten Minute Power Hour

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