Pablo: Mr. Freud would have something to say about your obsession with long, pointy objects.
Nin: Mr. Freud could say nothing if his tongue was cut out.
Nin: Mr. Freud could say nothing if his tongue was cut out.
— Protectors of the Plot Continuum, An Ill-Matched Pair
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
— Quote commonly credited to Sigmund Freud
"Oh, yeah? Well, sometimes it's a big brown dick!"
— George Carlin, responding to the above quote.
"It's a SPACE NIPPLE!"
"No, she's absolutely right," said Zeb, patting the enormous pistol at his hip. "This is a penis substitute. After all, if I could kill at a range of thirty meters with my penis, I wouldn't need to carry this thing around, now would I?"
— Zebediah Carter, The Number of the Beast by Robert A. Heinlein
Simplified.
Everything's either
concave or -vex,
so whatever you dream
will be something with sex.
Everything's either
concave or -vex,
so whatever you dream
will be something with sex.
— Dream Interpretation, Piet Hein
Vulcan Raven: Wow. Just... wow.
Psycho Mantis: Freud would shit his pants.
Psycho Mantis: Freud would shit his pants.
— The Last Days of FOXHOUND, after a Journey to the Center of the Mind shows that the metaphor for Liquid Snake's mind is a gigantic, penis like building. (And they're standing on a small, grassy hill below said building...)
If it's longer than it's wide, then it's a dick!
If it's longer than it's wide, then it's a dick!
If it's shorter than it's wide, simply turn it on its side;
Now it's longer than it's wide, and it's a dick!
If it's longer than it's wide, then it's a dick!
If it's shorter than it's wide, simply turn it on its side;
Now it's longer than it's wide, and it's a dick!
— Anonymous, sung to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it."
"Woah, honey, watch how you're holding that thing!"
— The Nostalgia Chick, on Skeletor's, um, weapon.
"Christ, everything in this hospital looks like it's a metaphor for sex!"
— The Cinema Snob, on the hospital's treatments in Hardgore.
"Hey, Finn... Are you thinking about how that guy's bow-tie sorta looked like a bra?"
— Marceline, Adventure Time
"This movie is 70% phallic symbol."
"You may have noticed that one of the Yo Gabba monsters is a flexible salami-like creature with one gaping eye at the top. I'm pretty sure I sketched the original design for that in the margin of a chemistry textbook back in 1985."
"...sex between two planes at 35,000 feet."
— Tom Clancy, on mid-air refueling.
...filth, I'm glad to say, is in
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
— Tom Lehrer, "Smut", That Was the Year That Was
"Phallic symbol, phallic symbol."
"Magrat says a broomstick is one of them sexual metaphor things."
Although this is a phallusy.
Although this is a phallusy.
Elan: What, here? Now?? What's gotten into you?
Haley: What? I was just overcome with how much I love you. Though the fact that I've been staring at a huge worm all afternoon may also be a factor.
Haley: What? I was just overcome with how much I love you. Though the fact that I've been staring at a huge worm all afternoon may also be a factor.
Chris: ...but we move right from that into a four-minute credits sequence that finally leads us to the snowy, crystalline movie version of the planet Krypton, and its giant Boob of Justice.
David: You saw a big white dome, and you thought boobs?
Chris: Yeah, what did you think?
David: I thought… a white dome.
Chris: Well obviously you don’t have much imagination.
David: You saw a big white dome, and you thought boobs?
Chris: Yeah, what did you think?
David: I thought… a white dome.
Chris: Well obviously you don’t have much imagination.
— Exchange during the Comics Alliance review of Superman: The Movie
.
.David: At least he isn’t screaming “LAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” in a theaterical presentation of A Skycab Named Desire.
Chris: No, but he is putting his baby into a giant egg with a bunch of pointy shards of glass. Jor-El is the worst father ever.
David: Vagina dentata!
Chris: Wait, you bagged on me for thinking the dome looked like a giant boob, but you're going straight to vagina dentata jokes?
Chris: No, but he is putting his baby into a giant egg with a bunch of pointy shards of glass. Jor-El is the worst father ever.
David: Vagina dentata!
Chris: Wait, you bagged on me for thinking the dome looked like a giant boob, but you're going straight to vagina dentata jokes?
— An exchange from later in the same review, thus proving that, indeed, Freud was right.
Tea: Wow, look at all the phallic imagery.
Joey: What? There ain't nothing remotely suspicious about this duel.
Yami: Now, quiver in fear, as my knight's mighty lance penetrates your moist cocoon!
Joey: What? There ain't nothing remotely suspicious about this duel.
Yami: Now, quiver in fear, as my knight's mighty lance penetrates your moist cocoon!
"Dark Souls is about wanting to climb back into your mom's womb, getting your dick cut off and being endlessly miserable. I am completely serious about this. I'm Jared and welcome to this Wisecrack Edition on the Dark Souls series."
— Jared, "The Philosophy of Dark Souls", Wisecrack Edition
", Wisecrack Edition"There's other kinda sexual things in the Olympics. There's the luge, about which I have only one question: what drunken, German gynecologist invented this sport? What guy went, (in German accent) 'You know vat? I vant to dress like a sperm, shove an ice skate in my ass, und go balls first down an ice chute. Ja, zat would be fun. No! Zis is for pussies!' 'How will you steer?' 'I vill do Kegels! I vill flex my ass und go down the aisle.'"
— Robin Williams, Live on Broadway
"Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power."
—Attributed to Oscar Wilde
Willie: How come their guns are so much bigger than ours?
Middle aged hood: It's a phallic thing. I don't know.
Middle aged hood: It's a phallic thing. I don't know.
Brian: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Brian's mother: Stop thinking about sex!
Brian: I wasn't!
Brian's mother: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?"
Brian's mother: Stop thinking about sex!
Brian: I wasn't!
Brian's mother: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?"
"Ah, that's right — a Jedi shall not know love... an order of monks whose most precious weapon is their energy sword... a psychiatrist would have a field day with the lot of you."
— Vianna D'Pow, Star Wars Tales 13: Children of the Force
"Do you know of Doctor Freud, Mr. Ismay? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you".
— Rose to the Titanic's builder, Titanic (1997)
"If you look hard enough, like really, really hard, you'll find a dick, pretty much everywhere."
"I'm tryin' to say is that...come on now, the Wii? Come on, that c—that little controller, baby? That looks like a dildo! Aight, I ain't tryin' to play my games with no dildo. Aight, maybe if the game is like, y'know...WarioWare...shove it up your ass game. Yeah, yeah I dunno, I dunno if there's any minigames where, you know...you have to shove it up your ass."
— Chad Warden, "Why the PS3 is better than the Wii and 360 (part 1)"
