Marge: Who wants pork chops?
Homer: Sorry Marge, this gets my lowest rating ever: Seven thumbs up.
— The Simpsons, "Guess Who's Coming To Criticize Dinner?"
"Overall, I give it 7/10, which is the least you can give a game before the company pulls their advertising."
"In game reviews the main text is always the beef and the score is just a decoration, but we still always try to score each game as accurately as possible. But the score demands that our readers can read them properly. First you round the score down, since the first number is practically the only one that matters. A 9 means it's an excellent game, an 8 is a good game and a 7 is okay, and you can pretty much forget the rest. You don't need a 100-point scale for this."
— Niko Nirvi, Finnish game reviewer and columnist
"If you get one and a half stars on the fuckin' internet, that's like being at the Special Olympics and having them tell you, 'you have to leave'."
"Since our game will change the face of the industry forever, here’s a unique score system that you’ll need in order to judge this game:
10: Perfect game (our game most likely deserves this)
9.0 Excellent game
8.0 Pretty decent game and still good enough for a Metacritic bonus so use it if you must
7.0 Absolute shit that only games without big publishers deserve
6.0 Not used
5.0 Not used
4.0 Not used
3.0 Not used
2.0 Not used
1.0 Not used
Please consult the above chart for this title, and any future games we send you."
"I mean, some reviewers gave it, like, 6 out of 10. In professional reviewing circles that's the equivalent of burning it to the ground and salting the earth."
"So, it's a seven?"
"No. I need you to bring me... the forbidden numbers."
— Two reviewers in Penny Arcade
"Anyone who's ever watched Olympic figure skating or high-diving (yes and yes, religiously) knows that you can break an ankle or crack your skull on the diving platform and still limp to the finish with a five. You get a five for showing up.
"The worst of the worst from Newgrounds, the web, iPad, and other sources that deserve the full scorn that an 8 out of 10 offers."
— Retsupurae's description of the Retsufrash Playlist
"I got lost and wandered into the world's creepiest cemetery where the headstones all had star ratings on them. Freaked me out. When I got home I tried to leave the cemetery a bad review on Yelp, but as my hand hovered over the 'one star' button I felt this distant chill..."
"Giving something like [Sensible World of Soccer]* 95% is utterly devalued if you also give, for example, Rise of the Robots* 92%. Percentage ratings are meaningless unless you use the full range, and you can't give credit where it's due if you're pretending that everything's good. What encouragement does that give developers to produce quality? They might as well knock it out at half the cost and in a third of the time if they're only going to get another 3% for doing it properly. Of course, the market will die much faster if people get continually stiffed by crap games, but hey - there's always another machine to move to and start the cycle again."