"I got me an email from the Prince of Nigeria! Well, he sure sounded legit..."
I don’t know if this happens to you, but foreign exiles are constantly trusting me to help them transfer their fortunes overseas. First, I give them my bank account information. Then, when the coast is clear, they’ll fill my account with their limitless royal fortunes. I’ve found that many times, they first take all my money out, but I assume this is to purchase the camels and luggage necessary to carry all their money to the bank. According to my last count, there are over 87 different former princes in Nigeria alone who are going to give me $40,000,000 as soon as they can escape from the evil president, who strangely, has a different name every time a new prince emails me. This is probably some sort of fun game I don’t get since I’m not deposed Nigerian royalty... I also appreciate how they trust me not to call their corrupt presidents and tell them what they’re all up to.
— Seanbaby, The Wave Magazine
Dear Sir, I need your help. I am a Nigerian prince and am in desperate need to move large sums of money out of my war-torn country.
— Squirrel, The Petri Dish
So just to recap, you're telling me that the Organization of African Unity, United Nations, European Union, FBI, ICC and IMF all got together, united by Jeff Bezos, and decided to award me 950 thousand dollars in compensation, and yet between them, all these organisations can't scrape together a few thousand dollars to post me a card?
