Lisa: Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom President Clown?
Krusty: I don't know her name...but she held up a liquor store last year!
"Teenagers really have it the worst and rich, famous teenagers have it worser than worse, because they’re used to hearing 'yes' most of the time, but every now and again some evil torturer has to tell them 'no' and being told “no” when you’re a famous teenager is worse than getting shot at during war."
"Our younger readers know Lindsay Lohan as a sort-of porn star and constant reminder of our society's sick and destructive relationship with pretty things, but before that, she was an actress who was paid lots of money to be in normal movies."
"People who meet me as an adult are often surprised that I'm alive and have never been in prison or rehab. Sometimes they're disappointed I'm not cooler: I'm a normal-looking woman living in a two-bedroom apartment in one of the less cool neighborhoods of New York. I write stuff and tell stories, but I'm not a celebrity and wouldn't want to be one. I'm much more 'reformed drama nerd' than 'former child star,' and I like it that way."
David: In this week’s episode, Clark and Lois attended their five-year high school reunion, which gave the producers plenty of opportunity to pad out 44 minutes with flashbacks to earlier episodes...What happened to Pete Ross? Wasn’t he in this show?
Chris: He graduated to the world of celebrity sex tapes.
David: For a second, I thought you were serious.
Chris: I am.
David': …oh, wow, I missed that and instead focused on the part of Sam Jones III’s Wikipedia page where it says he “was taken into custody by Drug Enforcement Administration." I mean, damn. That explains why he hasn’t been in Smallville recently.
"The episode left out some deeply uncomfortable spats between Mama June and Alana. You see it a bit in the broadcast, but Mama June was continually either answering questions on behalf of Boo Boo or mumbling answers to her. The quick wit we've come to expect from Honey Boo Boo was nowhere to be seen, but instead it was fed to her by her pageant mom...the most notable moment to be left out of Honey Boo Boo’s appearance on The Tonight Show was when she became so fed up that she actually struck Mama June. Up until this point, [Jimmy] Fallon had been doing a great job of navigating Alana’s weird behavior, but it was at this moment when he became positively awesome. 'NEVER hit your mother!' he exclaimed, in a voice that was serious with just a hint of a joke, and the studio audience erupted in applause."
"Kudos to Bieber — a Grammy-nominated singer with an army of fans (over 50 million followers on Twitter) and a net worth of $130 million — for really living up to his reputation as the King Joffrey of Pop."
"Did you ever see the movie Surviving the Game with Ice-T? In the movie, Ice-T plays a homeless man who gets hunted for sport by a bunch of rich assholes who are apparently so jaded by life and how they're so rich and there's nothing new and exciting left for them that they hunt man for fun. I feel like this is Justin Bieber's world now, only instead of killing Ice-T, he just wants to kill tact and good taste...He speeds, he eggs people's houses, he gives the most arrogant and cocky deposition in the history of the legal profession, and apparently he recently got cussed out by someone's dad at Walmart for trashing the place. He trashed a Walmart and got told off by a middle-aged man. He's the villain from a 1980s teen dramedy."