Quotes / Former Child Star

Lisa: Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom President Clown?
Krusty: I don't know her name, but she held up a liquor store last year.

"Yes! The former child star whose feet grew when he hit puberty while the rest of his body stayed small and scrawny. The Gilded Arches was trying to destroy any theater that no longer showed his movies."'
Daran Norris narrating the fourth webtoon of The Fairly Oddparents

"People who meet me as an adult are often surprised that I'm alive and have never been in prison or rehab."

"I tend to think that what fame has done is to replace the sea as the element of choice of adventure for young people. If you were a dashing young man in the 19th century you would probably have wanted to run away to sea, just as in the 20th century you might decide that you want to run away and form a pop band. The difference is that in the 19th century, before running away to sea, you would have had at least some understanding of the element that you were dealing with and would have perhaps, say, learned to swim."

"Well, itís good to know that Dustin Diamond Cubic Zirconia is still the biggest yeast infection bump of the Saved by the Bell cast, and thatís saying a lot since Mario Lopez was in that cast."
Michael K., "In Case You Were Wondering, Yes, Screech Is Still A Mess"

"Screech is a perfect example of the quirky sitcom kid; often cast purely for the comic disparity of a funny-looking child who can pull faces but deliver old-soul zingers. Usually swept offscreen once the first pube sprouts, they can later be found on Where Are They Now? lists looking like something that hands out quests on World of Warcraft, and on SBTB, the curse of having your awkward transition phrase play out in real time, in millions of living rooms, was Diamond's alone to bear."
Stuart Millard, So Excited, So Scared: The Saved by the Bell Retrospective

"Lindsay Lohan was on Letterman this week, and the resulting interview was every bit as awkward and horrible as you would imagine. There's Dave asking Lindsay about rehab, while Lindsay sits there dumbfounded, shocked that anyone would ask her about rehab when her whole fucking LIFE is a failed rehab project."
Drew Magary, Make It Stop

David: What happened to Pete Ross? Wasnít he in this show?
Chris: He graduated to the world of celebrity sex tapes.
David: For a second, I thought you were serious.
Chris: I am.
David: Öoh, wow, I missed that and instead focused on the part of Sam Jones IIIís Wikipedia page where it says he ďwas taken into custody by Drug Enforcement Administration." I mean, damn. That explains why he hasnít been in Smallville recently.
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Homecoming")

"Kudos to Bieber — a Grammy-nominated singer with an army of fans (over 50 million followers on Twitter) and a net worth of $130 million — for really living up to his reputation as the King Joffrey of Pop."

"He speeds, he eggs people's houses, he gives the most arrogant and cocky deposition in the history of the legal profession, and apparently he recently got cussed out by someone's dad at Walmart for trashing the place. He trashed a Walmart and got told off by a middle-aged man. He's the villain from a 1980s teen dramedy."