Quotes / Beauty Equals Goodness

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty— that is all
Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know."

— John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

Claudia Christian: Oh, look at you, you look like a baby!
Bruce Boxleitner: Smilin’ Jack, the good guy!

—Babylon 5 cast watching themselves during the credits, S.2 commentary

"...And by the way, when the enemy leader is an attractive young woman, that's a good sign you're on the wrong side. If fiction has taught me anything, the righteous ones tend to be better looking. And generally white."

— Zero Punctuation, Crackdown 2

"These are the guys who invaded Bajor, raped and pillaged for a generation or two, and then up and left for no apparent reason. You can tell they're bad because they're ugly, their ships are ugly and the space station they left behind is really ugly. The whole reason for the invasion seems to be that they couldn't stand a green and blue planet so close to their own, so they mined it until it was as brown and dull as everything they were used to. They could have also just been grumpy that their grossly oversized neck/shoulder veins/bones made it impossible to turn their heads. They eventually got their own planet bombed back into the stone age, so that probably cheered them up."

— Cracked on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

He's of stature somewhat low—
Your hero always should be tall, you know.

— Charles Churchill

"They say inner beauty is important. But not nearly as important as outer beauty."

— Ellen DeGeneres, for Covergirl

EVERY OCTOPUS IS PRECOIUS BUT IF THERE IS A BAD ONE IT IS BADDY! YOU CAN TELL THAT HE IS BAD BECAUSE HE IS THE UGLYEST JUST LIKE PEOPLE.

— Bogleech.com

Sakuya: (Referring to Eirin) Who are you?

Remilia: This is the villain, Sakuya. I knew it at once because that's definitely a villain's face.

Eirin: What a cruel thing to say.

— Touhou Eiyashou ~ Imperishable Night

I don't see any reasons why would no one pick Malik, he's kinda old but still pretty good looking.

— A Game Faqs user

"There is an invariable rule in men's battles, it states: 'An ugly, macho guy can never beat an intelligent, popular, slender and handsome hero.' Your fate was sealed when you showed up with your ugly face."

— Dark Schneider, Bastard!! (1988)

"Yay! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, folks!"

— JonTron reviewing Food Fight

"Yeah, I went with the "horrible-looking monsters are the bad guys" assumption. Turns out that one's pretty safe most of the time."

— Kyle Rayner

"Why is it that super-heroes are always so good looking?"

— Amanda Waller, Justice League

"Only bad witches are ugly."

— Glinda the Good Witch, The Wizard of Oz

Dorothy: I've never heard of a beautiful witch before.
Glinda: Only bad witches are ugly.
Lindsay: Well there you go Dorothy, words to live by!

— Lindsay Ellis, "Loose Canon: The Wicked Witch of the West"

Blossom: This is bad. He's clearly an evil monster. A monkey that talks, plus he has a dark aura! And he stinks. So since I'm wearing pink, I'm a righteous transforming heroine that defeats villains! This is Japanese common sense.

— Powerpuff Girls Z

"If she were good, she wouldn't be so ugly."

— Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Edmond Bateman: Maybe if a man looks ugly, he does ugly things.
Dr. Vollin: You are saying something profound.

— The Raven (1935)

In true Victorian fashion, most Kindred believe that a Nosferatu's hideous exterior no doubt reflects the moral blight within the monster's very soul - much as the phrenologist may not evidence of a criminal mind in the deformations of a degenerate's sloping brow. Unconventional Kindred cannot forgive such moral laxity, but they may find innovative ways to exploit it: some tortured Nosferatu eternally strive to achieve human ends as penance for the sins that have condemned them to such an unkind fate; by giving them that chance, some good may come from the evil that lies within such bestial creature. One must remember, however, that the Sewer Rats are the basest and most bestial creatures in the Race of Caine: it is just and right for society to afflict them with the stigma of social ostracism.

—Victorian Age: Vampire

"And regarding my so-called 'massacre' of the Radioactive Mutants of Outer Mongolia...well they must have been evil 'cause they were so damn ugly!"

— Captain Proton, Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

"No, don't trust her, Little Red Riding Hood! It's a fantasy film and she's ugly!"

— The Cinema Snob, "Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters"

Is she kind as she is fair?

For beauty lives with kindness.

— Two Gentlemen of Verona

"What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness."

— Anna Karenina

"I wonder which ones are the villains...is it the goodly Baron von Chinstrap and his generic useless Disney princess daughter, or could it be the stuck-up rich lady with the face sculpted out of pure fucking hate and the cat named Lucifer?"

— Sean "Trillaphon" Neil, Legend of the Titanic review

"That fellow has a decidedly bad countenance," said the count in a tone of disgust, as he shut up his glass into its ivory case. "How comes it that all do not retreat in aversion at sight of that flat, receding, serpent-like forehead, round, vulture-shaped head, and sharp-hooked nose, like the beak of a buzzard?"

—The Count of Monte Cristo (who is somewhat biased) on the Morally Bankrupt Banker Baron Danglars

"You must be a good witch 'cause you're beautiful!"

— Dorothy Gale, The Wizard of Oz

"I say, you look like a nice, kind young man. There's something about the sheen of your hair that I instinctively trust …"

— A quest-giving NPC, Dragon Quest XI

Nozaki: Both Myako san and I can tell who they [a Shoujo heroine] are going to end up with really quickly...
Sakura: How can you tell?!!
Nozaki and Miyako: This guy has a better face.
Nozaki: They usually end up with the more attractive guy.

— Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun

"Beauty privilege is real, and the main proof of that is that everyone wants to join Joseph Seed's cult nowadays but nobody, and I mean nobody wanted to join poor, whack-ass, crusty-ass Papa Knoth's cult back in the days. Discriminatory."

—Tumblr user senka-mesecine

"What shall we give her as she is so good, and has shared her bread with us?" Then said the first, "My gift is, that she shall every day grow more beautiful."
[...]
"What shall we give her as she is so naughty, and has a wicked envious heart, that will never let her do a good turn to any one?" The first said, "I grant that she may grow uglier every day."

— "The Three Little Men in the Wood"

"Because remember, there are no good or bad actions in Harry Potter, there are only good and bad teams, and you can tell the bad team because they're ugly, and fat, and covered in snakes."

—Shaun, "Harry Potter"

"That's not the face of our Lord, that's the face of a psychopath."

— Sergio Leone on Willem Dafoe being cast as Jesus for The Last Temptation of Christ

Beauty affects the Derived Statistics Reaction Modifier: this is the superficial and sadly inevitable response which may be occasioned by one's physical appearance.

—Arcanum wiki on the Beauty statistic.

"Here's my until-we-meet again message: The way you look reflects your inner spirit. Think positive, loving thoughts and feel wonderful because your body is fit, and your face and and body will mirror the beauty inside of you."

— Suzy Chaffee, I Love New York Fitness Book

Black Joe: What are you doing trying to befriend a warrior? How long before you try befriending the Pope??
Pieberry: Don't be ridiculous. I'll beat the Pope to a pulp with my own bare hands.
Black Joe: What's the difference between this guy and the Pope?
Pieberry: This guy's handsome. The Pope DEFINITELY is not.

— WitchSpring R

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