Quotes / Author Tract

    open/close all folders 


"Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax? Oops, I forgot to tell a joke!"


"Mailer is forever shouting at us that he is about to tell us something we must know or has just told us something revelatory and we failed to hear him or that he will, God grant his poor abused brain and body just one more chance, get through to us so that we will know."
Gore Vidal, "Norman Mailer: The Angels Are White"

    Web Original 

"Don't think of it as a novel. Think of it as a chance to retroactively win every argument you have ever walked away from."

"A recurring character in these books—variously named Hugh Farnham, Jubal Harshaw or Lazarus Long—is a crusty older man who's a wellspring of wisdom. 'Daddy, you have an annoying habit of being right,' runs an actual bit of dialogue from Farnham’s Freehold (1964). In the worst of Heinlein's later books, daddy not only knows best, he often knows everything."

"Quatermass is so appallingly reactionary as to occasionally tip over into comedy. Its central premise involves mind-controlling aliens whose mind control doesn't affect old people. It largely concerns itself with the dangers of hippies and how they contribute to urban decay. The other part of its premise is that there's a cult called the Planet People, who believe that aliens are nicely transporting them to a utopia on another world when in fact they're just being incinerated... The result is, essentially, 100 minutes of Nigel Kneale yelling at the kids to get off his lawn."
Dr. El Sandifer on Quatermass

"Midsomer never disappoints when it comes to its naked hatred of Christianity... it's the cliched equivalent of "the butler did it" anytime anyone puts on a collar or mentions God in one of these outings (and please don't post or email, accusing me—an atheist—of bias). The minute I saw the Church of England was central to the plot here, I could have written Let Us Prey myself. Just to boil it down for you, scripter Paul Logue gives you two choices here in your typical Midsomer vicar: you can either have a grasping, greedy, materialistic conniver who likens God to the Stasi of East Germany, and who pleasurably tingles at the sight of suffering, or...a baby-snatching murderer (have fun in Church, kids!)."

"Hey, you! Viewer! It’s all your fault we’re not in space! [Chris] Carter portrays NASA in a sincere and respectful manner, entirely sympathetic. Which seems a little weird, when the FBI is crawling with corrupt conspirators. I do love the implication that perhaps the massive government conspiracy just assumes NASA isn’t worth their attention. I imagine a cut scene with the Cigarette-Smoking Man boasting, “We’ll just cut funding again.”"
Darren Mooney on The X-Files, "Space"

"In the tradition of the wacky-themed Bat-villains of the '60s comes Anarky, the character whose superpower is giving pedantic stoner monologues.

Batman: Yes, yes, I am thinking that whoever spouts such brilliant philosophy surely has a huge dong, no matter what Jenny Walker said in home ec."

"Superman threatens persecuted 'illegal aliens' with deportation if they don’t prove their worth to America. "
Jason Michelitch on Superman: Grounded, "The 5 Worst Comics of 2010"

"Whereas in the first volume, it was just a kind of crazy storyline, it is now a Batman story whose content appears to be sponsored by Coast to Coast AM. It’s like someone took their top five favorite conspiracy theories and shoehorned them into Batman mythology alongside random product placements. Like, I am legitimately expecting Obama’s birth certificate to show up at some point."
Laura Hudson and David Wolkin, "The Complete and Utter Insanity of Batman Odyssey"

"I met [Roberto] Orci on the set of Ender's Game, and in his defense I can say that he came across as very fan-friendly and totally willing to hear audience concerns... But I will say that before he deleted his very entertaining Twitter feed, he had Fidel Castro as his avatar and was prone to linking to conspiracy theories, which may explain why every major movie he's written has featured a large-scale secret plan by either government, an evil corporation, or both."

"There's always a message, rarely a storyline."
Matthew Paul Taylor on Left Behind

"Seagal's previous movies had his trademark action mixed with the actor's own crazy views on politics. Here, we eliminate the action and are left with a dramatic movie about Seagal's nutty political views. We kind of have the same crack pot view as in The Sunchaser where 'medicine BAD' and 'doctors want to make people sick to earn money'. Our good doctor heals all afflictions and illnesses with herbs and roots from good ole nature. In fact, the cure to the (and I really want to emphasize this) government-engineered virus are some tea leaves Seagal grows on his property. Now I have no medical training and most of my science I either read on my own or are throwbacks from high school/college. But I think I can safely say that is complete and utter BULLSHIT."
Miles Antwiler on The Patriot

"You can't judge Christian films like other movies. Any casual examination shows them to be conventionally terrible without explanation. But they are not meant to be good, but rather they are designed to deliver pointed messages, spurring audiences to promote and support established political and religious powers. They are vehicles that carry naked threats for people who believe differently and are threatening reminders to keep believers in line."

    Web Video 

"I still think Deee-lite had it in them to go a little longer, but then that second album happened... they got a lot less De-Gorgeous and a lot more De-Preachy. If you were around in 1992, would you want to hear the group that did 'Groove is in the Heart' sing about the ozone layer, safe sex, and the importance of registering to vote?"
Todd in the Shadows, "One Hit Wonderland" ("Groove Is in the Heart")

    Real Life 

"A good example is the best sermon."
Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack

"A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author."