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Threatening to Cut Ties

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"So, it's come to this... And to think we joined the Best Friends Forever Club? Listen up, SpongeBob SecretStealerPants! If you ever come near my Secret Box again, WE WON'T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE!"

People generally tend to value their relationships and fear losing them. Some people use this to their advantage by threatening to cut ties with a person. The relationship in question could be familial, platonic, or martial; some people see no issue with threatening to end it.

Whether or not the character performing the threat is meant to be sympathetic depends on a number of factors; the reason for the threat, the willingness to follow through with the threat, and quality of the relationship in question.

  • Unsympathetic characters often pull this trope for selfish reasons or petty reasons; examples are a toxic relative trying to manipulate their family, an abusive spouse who pulls the divorce card to win arguments, a toxic friend holding the friendship hostage for personal gain; in short they're treating the relationship as a disposable tool rather than something valuable in and of itself. Sympathetic characters by contrast, will only pull this kind of threat out of good intentions; examples include a Morality Pet threatening to end their relationship with a villain if they cross the Moral Event Horizon, a well-meaning friend who is tired of their friend's toxic behavior, or a parent threatening to disown a rotten child if they don't shape up.
  • The emptier the threat of cutting ties is, the less sympathetic the character is. If a character uses the threat of cutting ties as a bluff, it just shows that they're a coward who's unwilling to follow through on their threats. Even if the character is willing to go through with the threat, if the character decides to come crawling back to the person they cut off it just shows that they're dishonest hypocrites who have no issue crawling back to the one they chose to cut out of their lives when it's convenient. Sympathetic characters, by contrast, will never use this sort of threat as a bluff and are willing to stay out of the life of the people they cut off even if it would be more convenient to go back to them.
  • When it comes to the quality of relationships, if an unsympathetic party does this, it's a sign that the relationship is toxic and needs to end. If the one being threatened decides to end the relationship, it will be portrayed as a positive thing. For the sympathetic variation, the relationship is usually rough, but (potentially) salvageable and if the one being threatened decides to end the relationship, it's treated as an act of selfishness and foolishness on their part for throwing away a good relationship for selfish reasons.

Overlaps with Threat Backfire if the person doing the threat is merely bluffing and it doesn't work ''at all'; I Have No Son!, Disowned Sibling, or Disowned Parent if someone threatens to disown their child, sibling, or parent respectively.

Might involve a threat to give someone the Silent Treatment. Also a form of Playing the Family Card if it involves family. In the case of Cain and Abel, Cain would likely do this to get rid of Abel, while Abel would do this to distance away from Cain. An indirect variation of this trope involves Obnoxious In-Laws threatening the in-law by claiming that they will have their relative divorce them.


Examples:

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    Anime & Manga 
  • Played With In Hitoribocchi no OO Seikatsu. Yarawa Kai has already cut ties with her shy and socially awkward middle school friend Hitori Bocchi, and she agrees to be Bocchi's friend again only if she makes friends with everyone in her class, prompting the latter to do just that. This isn't done out of malice, as Kai intends for Bocchi to make new friends aside from herself.

    Comic Strips 
  • Calvin and Hobbes: Hobbes claims he has a secret, and Calvin threatens to no longer be his friend if he refuses to tell him what it is. Hobbes concedes and then claims that Calvin's shrinking with age.

    Fan Works 
  • In The Loud House fanfic Catfished, Stella threatens to stop being friends with her guy friends if they tell anyone about her online relationship with Julio.
  • Kedabory's Elmore Chronicles: "The Voicemails" opens with the Small brothers in a heated argument, and eventually Boris snaps and declares that if Steve leaves for Elmore, he's out of his life for good. Steve leaves anyway, and Boris makes good on his threat; in the years to come, he doesn't even invite Steve (now Sybil) to his wedding, or allow his daughter Sophie to learn about him.
  • Scarlet Lady: Adrien, after seeing how much of a bully Chloé is, threatens to end their friendship if she doesn't shape up. Chloé doesn't take the threats seriously, which leads to Adrien following through in "Despair Bear" after she pulls the fire alarm just to get out of a baking lesson with Marinette's dad and then promptly weasels her way out of consequences via threatening to call her father. Chloé still acts like they're friends, however.

    Film - Live Action 
  • Ferris tries this on Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but Cameron points out that he's been saying this for years and never meant it:
    Ferris: If you're not over here in thirty minutes, you can find yourself a new best friend!
    Cameron: You've been saying that since third grade.

    Literature 
  • Pride and Prejudice: After Elizabeth rejects Mr. Collins' marriage proposal, despite the fact that it would guarantee the Bennets could keep their home when Mr. Bennet dies, Mrs. Bennet is so angry she says she will never speak to Elizabeth again if she does not change her mind. When she tries to get Mr. Bennet to talk Elizabeth into it, he says:
    Mr. Bennet: An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Cold Case: One Victim of the Week was a girl from a rich family who got involved with the suffragettes. Her father grew up poor and became a rich distillery owner, and he feared the suffragettes would mean the end of his business since most of them supported prohibition. He told his daughter to cut ties with the suffragettes or she would be dead to him, assuming she didn't have the fortitude to give up her life of luxury for her beliefs. He was right.
  • Community: In The Art of Discourse, after Pierce pantses her, Shirley threatens to leave the group if he is not removed. When the group is less than enthusiastic about this, she follows through on her threat.
  • At the end of the The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode "Poppa's Got A Brand New Excuse", Vivian makes it quite clear that if Will's father bails on Will again, he is not to come back. Will calling him by his real name instead of some familiar title makes it quite clear the feeling's the same for him.
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: In "The Gang Gets A New Member", Mac and Dennis decide to invite their old pal Schmitty into the Gang. Charlie, feeling insecure about it, gives an ultimatum that if Schmitty joins, he'll leave the Gang for good. Mac and Dennis don't really give a shit and Charlie leaves, humiliated.
  • In Political Animals, after T.J. reluctantly steals her checkbook out of desperation to pay off his debts, his grandmother Margaret tells him that if he ever does that again, she'll stop speaking to him. As Margaret is one of the few members of his family who's seriously trying to help him get clean from drugs, T.J. is suitably admonished.
  • In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Imaginary Friend", an alien taking the form of a little girl's Imaginary Friend Isabella asks the little girl, Clara, to go to engineering with her. Since children are barred from engineering, Clara says no, but then "Isabella" says, "I thought you were my best friend", implying that she'll stop being best friends with Clara if she doesn't agree to go to engineering.

    Theatre 
  • In Romeo and Juliet, Juliet's father threatens to disown her if she doesn't agree to marry County Paris, saying:
    Lord Capulet: I tell thee what. Get thee to church a Thursday, Or never after look me in the face.

    Web Animation 
  • Asuka's Revenge: Kotomi's husband Hiroki wanted her to quit her job and take care of his parents and do all the housework, which she's against because they need the money. While arguing, Kotomi pulls out divorce papers and signs them to intimidate Kotomi, which she signs and delivers to the city office despite knowing that he was only bluffing. Hiroki gets angry at Kotomi when she finds out and claims that he wasn't being serious, before getting on his knees and begging to not get divorced. Hiroki later starts calling Kotomi and begs to get back together, to the point where her father has to threaten to call the police to get him to stop.
  • Etra chan saw it!:
  • Gossip City:
    • Daichi is an emotionally abusive husband who bullies his wife Minori by bringing out divorce papers whenever he gets upset, which he knows that she's unwilling to sign because she needs his marriage to pay her father's medical bills. When Ami helps Minori start up a business, Minori decides to divorce him for real, which Daichi isn't worried about because he believes that Minori will fail. When he learns that Minori's business is succeeding, he begs to remarry her because his own business is in the red.
    • Akemi is a lazy "housewife" who bullies her husband Ryou by forcing him to work and do all of the housework. Ryou hates Akemi, with the only reason why he got married to her being that she's a Mafia Princess who threatened to hurt Misaki, Ryou's ex-fiance who owes her family a debt, if he gets a divorce. Fortunately, Ryou befriends the Uwasa Publishing Company who manages to expose Akemi's father's mob connections, meaning that he can safely get divorced.
  • Refreshing Stories: Hiroshi's wife Chisato often threatens to divorce him in order to get her way, even going so far as to leave signed divorce papers on the table and daring Hiroshi to sign them. One day, Hiroshi submits the divorce papers, which causes Chisato to panic and admit that she was only using divorce as a manipulation tactic, but Hiroshi doesn't care as she 1: often threatened to divorce him and 2: cheated on him.
  • Tanabata Manga: Tanao's wife Yomoko is a selfish womanchild who threatens to divorce Tanao if he doesn't let her have her way, even going so far as to leave signed divorce papers on the table. A few days later, when Yomoko threatens him again, he reveals that he submitted the papers, much to her shock.
  • Trouble Busters: The reason why Hannah destroyed her friend Millie's drawing is because Hannah's mother Shiela threatened to disown her and kick her out of the house if she didn't.
  • In the Ukinojoe short "Hug The Bowz", a Super Mario Bros. parody animation, the Bowz claims that he has undergone a Heel–Face Turn and wants Mario to give him a hug. Mario is skeptical and refuses to do so, but he relents when Luigi says that he'll stop talking to his brother if he doesn't bury the hatchet.

    Web Video 
  • Text Theater:
    • Fred is a domineering husband who tries to force Pamela, his pregnant wife, to watch his sister's kids. To get her to comply with his demands, he threatens to divorce her. When Pamela decides to go through with the divorce, Fred assumes that she is just bluffing until he learns that Pamela has submitted the divorce papers. Fred is infuriated at this, despite the fact that he gave her a choice between divorce and watching his sister's kids.
    • This episode has an indirect variation of this trope; Ginny is the MC's stepdaughter who threatens to have her father David divorce her if she doesn't pay her tuition. Unfortunately, the threat doesn't work because David and the MC have already divorced.
  • Viral Texts:
    • Lisa is a lazy "housewife" who forces her husband Rob to handle the housework while she's out spending his money, threatening to divorce him when he complains, even leaving signed divorce papers on the table. Lisa assumes that Rob is too chicken to go through with the divorce, but he decided to hand them, because being being married to her to her was a nightmare. Lisa has the audacity to claim that Rob tricked her and demands that he go out and take the papers back. Lisa is so desperate to not get divorced that she claims that she's willing to get remarried via forging his signature, which doesn't work as Rob knew that she would try that and warned the courts.
    • Debby loves to play the divorce card when arguing with her husband Rick, assuming that he's too timid to actually divorce her. When Rick actually does hand in the divorce papers, she freaks out and claims she was just joking and begs him to not get divorced, which he refuses, causing her to accept the divorce...until she learns that Rick knows about her affair with her boss's husband, which makes her want to get divorced even less.

    Western Animation 

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