Every villain worth his salting-the-Earth has to have style.
Not just because Evil Is Cool
, but because otherwise those idiot heroes
wouldn't be able to tell us apart from the horde of clowns
and hangers-on that follow them everywhere.
This is especially critical for fledgling villains, one dark-fashion faux pas can haunt you for years,
earning you nothing but ridicule from heroes, villains, and even Muggles
Below are some suggestions to make your Jumping Off the Slippery Slope
more visually obvious to those pathetic heroes.
- Evil Costume Switch — An absolute must, the only reason not to do this is if you're The Mole (but a successfully completed assignment means you can ditch those hero duds).
- Evil Eye — Stop passers-by in their tracks with only a look? Sign me up!
- Evil Makes You Monstrous — When you stop being human thanks to your extreme evil.
- Evil Makes You Ugly — Sadly Evil Is Sexy isn't always the case.
- Excessive Evil Eyeshadow — Excess? What's that?
- Glowing Eyes of Doom — Well, it beats using a night-light.
- Good Hair, Evil Hair — Nothing says "Destroyer of Souls" like a fu-manchu mustache.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars — An evil scar goes a long way to striking fear into the hearts of do-gooders.
- Mark of the Beast— Tats are hardcore, yo.
- Names to Run Away From Really Fast — Consider using one of the below names, works better if it's actually on your birth certificate (though after burning your orphanage-home, who's going to know?).
- One-Winged Angel — A bit of a radical departure, pretty much voids going to name brand stores.
- Paint It Black — Although if you're lazy, you can let your empathic gear do the switch by itself.
- Red Right Hand — Sometimes the forces of good need it spelled out for them in bright neon letters. Make sure to kill two orphans with one stone and make your Red Right Hand a source of power.
- Voice of the Legion — If you want to be heard as well as seen, using the Voice of The Legion gives a wonderful, earthquake-like quality to your voice.
- Leather Pants — Always in style for the villain who wants to score among the fanbase in more ways than one.