Haiku / Zero Punctuation

Aussie reviews games
Accentuating their flaws
While talking quite fast.

He ain't an Aussie
Quite clearly says: From UK
Just lives down under
->—Sensei Le Roof

JRPGs? Eeeew.
Cliffy B. is hot (not gay).

Brit with a sweet hat
And a chip on his shoulder
Quickly trashes games.

Loves James Sunderland
Because he would never just
Press X to Not Die

He speaks at light speed
And makes good games sound like crap
Except for Portal.

Is the game Portal?
No? Is it Silent Hill 2?
No? Then he hates it.