Funny / X-Men: The Animated Series

Moment pages never use spoiler tagging — so beware of unmarked spoilers

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Season 1

• In the first episode, Morph's channel-surfing and amusing himself by turning into and imitating someone from each. His take on Senator Kelly, with an exaggerated Southern accent Kelly doesn't have:
  "My fellow Americans, I am an idiot."
• In the first episode, a giant Sentinel walks by, causing civilians to scream and panic. In the background is a child's voice saying "Mommy! Buy me that, buy me that!"
  • Meanwhile, a woman asks her cop boyfriend to do something. He's got a compelling counter argument.
    Cop: What do you want me to do? Arrest him?
  • And meanwhile the Sentinel's trying to reassure everyone, not getting why the giant robot killing machine might be freaking them out.
    Sentinel: Do not be alarmed. I am here to serve and protect.
  • Morph asks if Beast and Wolverine can boost him over a tall fence. Wolvie and Beast smile and exchange a thumbs-up and an okay sign. Cut to Morph sailing right over the fence with a scream. Wolverine casually says from offscreen, "Looks like we can."
  • Later in the episode, Wolverine shreds Cyclops' car in a fit of rage, then leaves in a huff with these parting words:
    Wolverine: Tell Scott I made him a convertible.
  • Even later on in that same episode, Cyclops gets ambushed by a Sentinel which tells him to surrender. Cyclops pulls an I Surrender, Suckers
    Sentinel: Surrender, mutant.
    Cyclops: *puts hands up* Of course... *pulls down glasses* NOT!
    • It gets funnier: Cyclops' blast knocks off the sentinel's arm, startling some guy watching TV who it lands next to. The sentinel then declares it needs repairs, and then flies off to home base, where it crash-lands.
  • Right before that, when Cyclops locates Wolverine as he's being confronted by some mutant-hating thugs:
    Thug: Butt out, four-eyes!
    Cyclops: You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?
    Thug: So take 'em off.
    Cyclops: Stop! *The thug uses his pool cue to life Cyke's glasses up, causing his optic blasts to uncontrollably zap everything in their path*
    Thug: PUT 'EM BACK ON! PLEASE!
  • One of Wolverine's best lines: "Trail went cold outside her house. Got bit by a dog, too."
• During Magneto's attack on a chemical plant, he briefly muses on how much Charles Xavier's appearance must have changed over the years:
  Magneto: I wonder how you look, Charles, after so long? Perhaps, a toupee?
• During "Slave Island", there's a glorious moment where Master Mold stands up and attempts to stride out into the world... and is promptly halted by his power cord, which is still plugged into the wall.
  Master Mold: I AM STILL PLUGGED IN.
• In "Days of Future Past, Part 1," Xavier reads Bishop's mind and the memories are displayed on a computer screen for the X-Men to watch. After some clips of a Bad Future, the screen displays an older Wolverine.
  Wolverine: At least I don't lose my hair.
• In "Come The Apocalypse" when Gambit is playing pool with Rogue he suggests as a reward
  "How about the winner get a kiss from the loser"?
• In "The Cure" Pyro flirts with Rogue who is annoyed by him and not taking no for an answer, gets chucked through a wall. Avalanche then dares her to try to do that to him. Cue him being tossed through the building.
• In "Come The Apocalypse", Wolverine confronts one of Apocalypse Four Horsemen, War, and stabs his flying steed with his claws which War notices.
  Wolverine: Don't you think we're getting carried away here?
  (War kicks Wolverine in the face, leaving him to crash on top of a bus)
  Wolverine: Lousy pig-faced runt couldn't take a joke...
• Jean uses her powers to mess up Gambit's shot is pretty funny. Storm of all people cracking a Pun in response is hilarious.
  Storm: Gambit, the term "rec room" does not mean that you must wreck it.
  Gambit: Storm makes jokes now. What next?
• When Gambit sends a kinetic-charged Ace of Spades card down a freight elevator to a bunch of waiting Sentinels, this unexpected exchange happens:
  Sentinel 1: What is that object?
  Sentinel 2: It appears to be the Ace of Spades.
  (Card blows up.)
  • What sends this into even more ridiculous territory is that one puts their face right up to it to say what it is, rather than do something like scan it.
  • From the same episode:
    Master Mold: YOU WILL REMOVE SENATOR KELLY'S BRAIN... AND REPLACE IT WITH A COMPUTER!
    Kelly: Whaaaat?! You can't do that to me! I'm a United States Senator!

Season 2

• Longshot gets one in "Mojovision" According to Word of God the entire episode was written building up to this joke.
  Longshot: Y'know, I used to date an actress with two heads.
  Spiral: Was she nice?
  Longshot: Yes and no.
  • Earlier, there's Mojo's freak out when Jean manages to mess with his broadcast.
    Mojo: Controooool room. What are you doing up there SITTIN' ON YER HANDS?! G-go to a commercial! Go to reruns! Go to an infomercial GO TO SOMETHING! I'm losing my audience to a bunch of dead trees.
    (It cuts to the entire audience having spontaneously started reading)
  • Mojo in general, due to being a Large Ham Take That! at corporate executives. Upon first learning about the X-Men and their potential for his next show, he exclaims "I'm making money just standing here thinking about it! HAHA am I standing?" He at one point even plucks out a nose hair and exclaims it can act better than Longshot. And for good measure:
    Mojo: Actually if I hold it up to the light it looks like you, in a tuxedo!
  • Mojo appears to Scott and Jean on a television while they're at an electronics store.
    Mojo: Uh-uh-uh-uh! Don't touch that dial!
    Clerk: That's odd. [presses buttons on the remote]
    Mojo: Hey, I warned you! [ZAP]
  • Then there's Major Domo, whose utterly sardonic dry wit more than makes up for what a Large Ham Mojo is. His very first words in the episode:
    Mojo: DOMOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
    Major Domo: You ranted, sir?

Season 3

• In the second part of "Out Of The Past", The X-Men assemble with Wolverine and Gambit, to find Jubilee and a mysterious woman (Yuriko Oyama/Lady Deathstrike) both mindwiped. Wolverine is quizzed on the latter:
  Professor X: And this is?
  Wolverine: An old friend. She wants me dead.
  Cyclops: Why am I not surprised?
• In "The Phoenix Saga pt 3", Banshee and Black Tom's powers don't affect each other, likely because they're directly related, and both elect to slug it out instead. Cue a thousand viewers declaring that this is the moment that cemented them both as true Irishmen.
• In "Cold Comfort," Iceman begins attacking a government facility, so Xavier calls up the available X-Men to intervene.
  Wolverine: What are we up against with this Iceman?
  Xavier: We're not against him, Wolverine.
  Wolverine: So, then we're with him?
  Xavier: Of course not! He's destroying government property.
  Wolverine: Boy, I'm glad we cleared that up.
  • The team is able to bring Iceman in after Cyclop blasts him.
    Wolverine: A touch of overkill there, squinty.
  • During Xavier and Iceman's arguing:
    Jubilee: What's with those two? I've never seen the Professor so angry.
    Beast: It's a surrogate father/son dynamic, with unresolved issues of dominance.
    Jubilee: Beast, in English.
    Wolverine: Bobby likes to question authority.
• In "Savage Land, Savage Heart, Part 2", Zaladane starts ranting at Sauron about how Garokk's going to get him. Sauron responds by zapping her with his hypnotic eye-beams, knocking her out.
• In "The Dark Phoenix Saga Part 1: Dazzled", we get this delivery after Wolverine slashes Donald Pierce's robotic arm:
  Donald Pierce: MY ARM! Blast you!
  Storm: I believe that pleasure is mine! (zaps Donald Pierce's robotic arm)
  Donald Pierce: (cries in pain)
• In "The Dark Phoenix Saga" part 3, Rogue has to catch the X-Men that get knocked off by the Dark Phoenix.
  Rogue: What is this? "Catch the X-Men" Day?
• During the climactic battle in season 3's "Obsession", Apocalypse knocks Rogue for a loop. Gambit rushes to catch her, but he misjudges her added weight and they both collapse to the ground.
  Gambit: Chère! Maybe you cut down on that fried chicken, huh?

Season 4

• In "Bloodlines", Mystique impersonates a downed member of the Friends of Humanity, directing other members to where the other mutants are. She quickly gets up and shapeshifts back after they leave, quipping:
  Mystique: Rather dim, for defenders of mankind.
  • Near the beginning, it is Halloween night, and Wolverine uses a mask of Beast's face to scare off trick-or-treaters.
  Jubilee: (to Wolverine) Oh, nice. Beast won't appreciate you using his face to give them nightmares.
• Proteus, having spent his entire life locked up in a lab, escapes. As Moira worries about the damage he could cause, we see Kevin's first port of call is... a pub. (For added weirdness, the pub has random cameos from Technet, a group of time-travelling alien bounty hunters, so a body-snatching teenager isn't even the most bizarre being in there.)
• The Christmas Episode begins with Jubilee, Rogue, and Scott decorating a Christmas tree while singing "Deck the Halls." Scott hits so many wrong notes, you can almost hear his VA deliberately messing up the song.
  • Later, Jean and Gambit are the ones in charge of the food. Hilarity Ensues.
• In the "Beyond Good and Evil" saga, Apocalypse gives this hilariously scathing one-liner to Deathbird after he uses her to get to the Shi'ar's resident psychic Oracle:
  Deathbird: You promised you'd help me destroy Lilandra!
  Apocalypse: (teleporting away with Oracle and not giving a single fuck) I Lied.
• Apocalypse, in the middle of a fight with Cable, is initially dismissive when Cable claims more heroes will battle Apocalypse even after he dies. However, Apocalypse pauses and realizes he's right, and has an impromptu existential crisis while Cable can only watch in bewilderment.
• Narm: Cable in Beyond Good And Evil part 3. While hunting Apocalypse in ancient Egypt, Cable sees his teammates engulfed in a bright flash from a room away in a tomb. His reaction after he storms into an empty room to see his teammates laying on the ground is unintentionally hilarious. "WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!"

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Unsorted

• In the episode "Longshot," Jubilee seems to be channeling Storm. "JUBILEE, THE PRINCESS OF PYROTECHNICS, COMMANDS YOU TO RELEASE HIM!"
• "Nobody makes fun of Hairbag!"
• Storm's unbelievably hammy delivery of nearly all her lines.
  "I SHALL MEET YOU AT THE MONORAIL!"
• On a meta level, James McAvoy and Nicholas Hoult (who portray Professor X and Beast in the X-Men Film Series) can hum the theme song.