Funny / This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

  • Amy's line after a certain Doctor's explanation of the parasite is hilarious:
    Amy: I wasn't even paying attention, all I can picture is you having sex with him.
    John: What?
    • This is a Brick Joke: much earlier on in the book, Dave joked to Amy that his therapist was a woman and that the two of them had sex. Hence why Amy utters this line upon actually meeting said therapist.
  • After John blows a lock off a door and they block it off with a huge, heavy cabinet:
    Dave: We could have relocked that door but somebody blew a hole in it.
  • The bit about The Alleged Car:
John had jumped up onto the truck's bed and opened the Caddie's trunk, expecting to find that everything had been stolen. But apparently even the looters who ransacked the impound yard took one glance at the rusting piece of shit and deduced that there could be nothing in the trunk worth the effort of prying it open. That was probably a good thing for both the citizens and law enforcement of Undisclosed. Inside they'd have found the aforementioned shotgun (a custom-made triple-barrel sawed-off), two hundred shells, Dave's blood-splattered chainsaw, the green mystery box taken from Dave's shed, a bag of Dave's clothes, a bottle of Grey Goose, a bad black velvet painting of Jesus and a fucking flamethrower.