Characters / John Dies at the End

aka: This Book Is Full Of Spiders Seriously Dude Dont Touch It

David Wong

• Action Duo: With John.
• Action Survivor: He has no formal combat training but still goes up against all sorts of Lovecraftian horrors without breaking.
• Anti-Hero: A Type I. Dave is a complete loser.
• Author Avatar: David Wong is the protagonist of a book by David Wong.
• Byronic Hero: Dave has had quite a troubled past and mentions in the epilogue that he may be a sociopath, but still fights to save the world and cares about his friends.
• Deadpan Snarker: How he copes with the insanity around him.
• Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: He and John blow up Korrok's realm with dogshit near the end of the first book.
• First-Person Smartass: His narration is dripping with sarcasm.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: With John.
• Never My Fault: Dave has a mild case of this Monster Dave instead takes responsibility for things outside of his control.
• Refusal of the Call: Dave has no desire to be the Chosen One, and actively fights against attempts to nominate him as such. When Molly starts barking and, after acknowledging that she wants them to follow her, Dave promptly climbs in his car and drives the other way. His first dose of Soy Sauce has to literally force itself down his throat.
• Self-Deprecation: Lots. Dave is fully aware of what a loser he is and doesn't hesitate to make fun of himself for it.
  "I drove home to change, proving that even on the soy sauce, part of me was still a dumbass"
• Tomato in the Mirror: Revealed to be one of the shadow men's clones near the end of the first book. Later books also reveal that David can transform into a horrifying Half Bat half Mantis cryptid know as the BATMANTIS???
• Vitriolic Best Buds: With John.

John

• Action Duo: With Dave.
• The Alcoholic: Heavily implied.
• Big Damn Heroes: He does this a couple of times.
• Chick Magnet: He doesn't really try, but manages to attract a variety of women over the course of the story. It makes sense. John's a fun guy.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: John is... strange, which actually helps him when fighting monsters.
• Deadpan Snarker: Slightly less so than Dave.
• Hidden Depths: Beneath his crude exterior John is incredibly kind and completely without prejudice.
• Jumped at the Call: Much more eager than Dave to get involved in weird stuff. Though, in the epilogue, even he thinks the world on the other side of the gate on the basketball court is too lame to save. Don't worry, some kids do it for them.
• Pungeon Master: He tosses out a bunch of chair puns while killing sauce monsters with a folding chair.
• Shipper on Deck: Rather blatantly tries to set up Dave with Amy. It works.
• The Stoner: His stoner tendencies end up kicking off the plot of the book when he decides to take a hit of the soy sauce.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: With Dave.

Amy Sullivan

• All the Other Reindeer: She doesn't seem to have had many friends except for her brother following the accident.
• An Arm and a Leg: She lost one of her hands in a car accident.
• Disability Superpower: Her "phantom limb" allows her to interact with things that exist just outside of our main layer of reaity.
• Genki Girl: She's very cheerful and optimistic for the most part.
• Love Interest: To Dave.
• Nerds Are Sexy: She has a number of nerdy hobbies and is studying computer science in college by the second book.

Molly

• Angel Unaware: There are hints that she's some kind of supernatural entity sent to help the protagonists fight Korrok.
• Animal Companion: To Dave.
• Amplified Animal Aptitude: Despite Dave's constant insults toward her as "mentally challenged" she's shown to be somewhat smarter than he is.
• Badass Adorable: She ends up saving the day on multiple occasions.
• Big Damn Heroes: She ends up saving David from the burning trailer by driving a car through the wall.
• Team Pet: For the main heroes.

Korrok

• A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Eventually revealed to be a malevolent supercomputer from an Alternate Universe where biotechnology became common.
• Ax-Crazy
• Big Bad
• The Caligula: He rules over Shit Narnia with an iron fist and enjoys torturing and devouring his own servants.
• The Chessmaster: He manipulates events in our world to hasten his coming.
• Eldritch Abomination: Definitely. He's an omniscient, sadistic supercomputer made completely of meat that wants to dominate the universe.
• Evil Is Visceral: He's a tower of meat and eyes and mouths the size of the Statue of Liberty.
• Evil Overlord: Of Shit Narnia, and presumably many other worlds.
• Deus est Machina: A supercomputer that grew sentient and became an Eldritch Abomination.
• Dimension Lord: Of Shit Narnia.
• Giggling Villain: He's described as giggling like a toddler during Dave's confrontation with him.
• A God Am I: His followers worship him as an omniscient, all powerful god.
• The Man Behind the Man: He's responsible for all the monsters invading our world via the soy sauce.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: He refers to John and Dave as "fags" during their meeting.
• Psychopathic Manchild: He has the mentality of a 13 year old on Xbox Live.
• Genius Ditz: Is an omniscient super computer that controls multiple dimensions, but acts like a schoolyard bully.
• Sadist: He seems to derive joy from torturing humans.
• Unseen Evil: He's in the background for the majority of the novel, only appearing in person during the climax. Even then it's possible that he exists outside all universes and all John and Dave really saw was one of his local avatars