Awesome / This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

• "John lit a cigarette. He finished it. He climbed on board the dirt bike and said, out loud, 'All those fuckers are going to pay."
• John vs. the spider monster made out of turkeys. It Makes Sense in Context.
• John defeating a zombie by freezing time and (because he couldn't move anything else) tying it up with his own clothes.
• Dave has been imprisoned in the quarantined hospital, REPER's makeshift gulag designed to completely cut off "patients" from the outside world. John has about two hours to rescue Dave before the entire Undisclosed quarantine is razed by the government. The complex is penned in by two high fences covered in razor wire, monitored by sniper drones that could hit an ant from a half dozen states away, guarded by automatic sentry vehicles and mines, and surrounded by concrete vehicle blockades. Then an angry redneck mob surrounds the complex with intent to shoot dead anything that so much as twitches in the breeze. John circumvents these considerable roadblocks by rigging a makeshift ramp out of a stolen tow truck and flying over goddamn everything in a Cadillac, all while blasting Bad Moon Rising. Holy. Fucking. Shit.
  The grille of the Caddie plunged right into the middle of the bonfire, scattering smoke and flames and bones to the wind. The Cadillac finally bounced and jolted to a stop among a rain of burning human skulls.
  The voice of John Fogerty garbled and died. The driver's door opened and John flung himself out, clutching a sawed-off shotgun. He screamed, "DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME FUCKING PRISON BREAK WITH A SIDE OF SHOTGUN?"
  • Adding to the awesome, this was all so ridiculous and insane in-universe that the guys manning the sniper drones were too baffled to remember that their job was to shoot people trying to breach security, as John did.
• Anytime the Fur Gun is used.
  • Except for when it's been set on "Beard".
• Speaking of the Fur Gun at the climax of the book John has frozen time with David in the middle of a battle between the infected and the army when They show up, the shadow men who exist outside of time and are made of pure hatred for humanity. The Them who orchestrated every disaster and disappearance for the last two books. The Them who control the Body Horror spider plague. Circling our protagonists They have begun to erase Amy from existence, seemingly setting humanity's doom, when Dave thinks about Amy, activating the Fur Gun and SUMMONING A ROARING, FIRE-BREATHING, EYE-LASER SHOOTING VELVET PICTURE OF JESUS THAT PROCEEDS TO EVAPORATE THE SHADOW-MEN, ALONG WITH ALL THE PARASITES.
  • Velvet Jesus evaporates all shadow men except for Dave's Shadow, the one attacking Amy. That one gets it's head bitten off.
• Shane the Badass Bystander sniper drone operator who makes a Heel–Face Turn against the government by destroying the signal blocker, saving the collective asses of Undisclosed when John takes the opportunity to send a Tearjerker message out to the internet.
  • Also Amy's awesome moment for the way she managed to contact Shane.
• Combined with Tear Jerker Molly taking a bullet to save both Dave and Amy.

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