Funny / The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles

• During a ballet performance, Indy sends a Morse code message to a group of his fellow spies using his pelvic movements and a reflective mirror in his crotch.
• Indy using the soprano sax in an improvised music duel with young Ernest Hemingway, by performing the "William Tell's Overture"
• The bit where Indy (as a preteen!) attends a dinner with Sigmund Freud is awkwardly hilarious. You can practically see poor Mrs. Jones getting more and more uncomfortable through the whole thing.
• Indiana Jones as a teenager has a reaction of, "Nancy, they have guns!" This despite his earlier encounter with armed thugs in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade's opening.
• Indy attempts to throw around his weight in Hollywood Follies only to run into one of the legendary Hollywood Awesome Ego characters in Erich Von Stroheim. Indy doesn't stand a chance.
• The Phantom Train of Doom:
  • The whole premise is honestly hilarious on its own, in a darkly absurdist sort of way. In a nutshell: Indy and Remy find themselves stranded in the middle of the African savanna after boarding the wrong train (twice!) while trying to report to their unit in the Belgian Army, but they're rescued by a motley crew of aging soldiers in the British Royal Fusiliers—who trick Indy into joining them for an extremely dangerous special mission after he accidentally reveals that he has exactly the skills that they need to complete their mission. The funniest part is that they manage to pull it off twice; the second time (when Remy gets dragged along too), their leader even admits that they don't even need Indy, but they dragged him along anyway because they're convinced that he's "good luck". When Indy realizes that he got tricked a second time, his reaction is priceless.
    Remy: It's a kidnapping!
    Indy: You had this planned all along!
    Selous: Of course!
    Indy: But why drag us into it?
    Selous: I needed you! You're my good luck!
    Remy: But you lied!
    Selous: Would you have come otherwise?
    (Indy and Remy exchange incredulous glances)
    Indy and Remy: (in unison) NO!
    Selous: Well there you are, then.
  • During the mission to blow up the German artillery train, the group ends up having to sneak through a heavily guarded German Army camp. While there, Selous and his men insist on delaying their escape to search the camp for something useful. Indy asks them what could possibly be worth risking capture—and they reply that they're looking for toilet paper. Indy looks at them like they've gone insane. It takes a good few hours before they bother to explain themselves: real toilet paper is nearly impossible to find in the middle of Africa, so the Germans use old military documents as a substitute; they're actually stealing documents in hopes of gathering useful intelligence.^note  The best part is that it works: they manage to find an order form for military supplies, including 40 kilometers of telegraph cable. With that useful clue, they're able to figure out that the Germans use a telegraph system to relay orders to their artillery train, allowing them to find its hidden base by following its telegraph cable to its source.
  • The way that Indy and Remy manage to escape the German camp with a captive Colonel Von Lettow in tow. While taking shelter from German gunfire, they accidentally wind up hiding in the basket of a hot air balloon—which they accidentally launch, despite having no idea how to land it. When Selous realizes that his prisoner is drifting away in a hot air balloon, he nearly has a conniption.
    Von Lettow: (in German) Help! Get me out of this stupid balloon!
    Indy: ..."Balloon"?
    (later, when Selous' men are chasing the balloon in a stolen German truck)
    Selous: I said meet us at the truck!
    Indy: I got sidetracked!
    Big Mac: Quit messin' around!
    Selous: Get down here this instant!
    Indy: It wasn't my idea!
    Selous: You're stealing my prisoner! I want Von Lettow!
    Indy: You can have him back! Remy, throw Von Lettow over!
    Selous: No, no, no, no!
    Indy: Fine! Then help us get down!
  • The whole sequence where Indy and Remy are trying to take Von Lettow back to the Belgian lines. Von Lettow, depicted as an insufferable military genius, immediately starts chewing them out for their poorly planned kidnapping attempt (which they clearly just made up as they went along), seeming more angry about his kidnappers' incompetence than about being kidnapped. Indy grouses that Von Lettow reminds him of his father.
    Indy: It's like we kidnapped my father...

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