Funny / The Tick

  • If the Tick says something, chances are its going to be funny.
  • This may sum up The Tick's personality and sense of humor at the same time. In "The Tick vs. The Tick," Barry, another costumed Tick shows up to claim the rights to the name (his costume resembles more of a tick than The Tick). They have this exchange:
    Barry: Where's that jerk who calls himself The Tick?
    The Tick: I am that jerk!...Who wants to know?
  • When The Deadly Bulb did a Heel–Face Turn: and called himself Pig-Leg, his new goal being to ensure his pig-leg was happy.
  • In "The Tick vs. Chairface Chippendale" the eponymous villain is lowering the Tick, American Maid and Arthur into his alligator pit. As the screen is just about to cut to commercial, Arthur - still writhing to get free - yells "Jerk!"
  • "We are a justice sandwich, no toppings necessary!"
  • Chairface Chippendale's plan to write his name on the moon fails, resulting in the surface of the moon only reading "CHA". In a later episode, the Tick is hand-picked to help repair the moon, but he only gets around to erasing the 'C'. Now the moon reads "HA", eternally mocking all life on the planet.
    • Even better, in the comics it was blamed on Charo just to tweak Chairface's ego.
  • When the villains brought together by the Terror face certain defeat, Tuun-La and Stalingrad make a daring jetpack escape (and, inexplicably and hilariously, confess their love to each other):
    Tuun-La: "Josef Stalin, grab onto my armored muumuu, and together we will leave this foul Earth behind!"
  • The Tick must defuse a big old bomb with a big traditional digital countdown. On the basis 'how hard could it be?' he rams his hand through the casing and starts feeling around. Aaaand his hand gets stuck.
    The Tick: "I'M A WALKING TIME-BOMB!"
  • From the episode "Ants in Pants":
    TV Announcer: This is not a test. Authorities have issued a city-wide alert. Please stay tuned to this station for emergency evacuation instructions.
    TV Reporter: GET OUT OF THE CITY!!!
    • Mayor Blank's reaction to the national guard general's plan to destroy The City to eradicate the ants is really hilarious to look at.
    • There's also this exchange:
    American Maid: You know, I get the feeling we're trapped in a...Er.
    Die Fledermaus: Don't say it.
    Fish Boy: Say what?
    American Maid: We're trapped in a...Um.
    Arthur: A people farm?
    (It is shown the heroes are trapped in a life-sized ant farm)
    Everyone (and Sewer Urchin): PEOPLE FARM! AHHHH!!!
  • From "The Tick vs. The Big Nothing", what's the fastest thing in the universe? Lint. The explanation:
    Alien Interpretor: Right after you do your laundry, what's the first thing you find in your pockets?
    The Tick: Uh...crayons, change, lip balm.
    Alien Interpretor: Lint! And how does it get there?
    The Tick: Uh, I don't know?
    Alien Interpretor: IT'S THAT FAST! Prepare to enter lint-warp!
    • When entering lint-speed:
    The Tick: [Beholding vast streams of lint in hyperspace] I've never seen so much lint in my life.
    • The ridiculously underwhelming performance of The Hey's much-hyped ultimate weapon, the 8-Ball, a floating 8-ball from a pool table that can fly at incredible speed and has undefined cosmic powers. When it finally corners The Tick at the Hey's base, he tells it to do it's worst... and it just smacks ineffectively against his forehead and drops to the ground. What really sells it is Tick's incredulous reaction as he picks it up and casually throws it away, and the Hey's awed worship of him like he just performed some legendary feat.
  • At one point the Tick is showing off the 'crime-mobile' (Arthur's sister's old Bobcat station wagon) to a camera crew. Arthur doesn't mind the Tick showing off the ceiling light or the sunshade, but he refuses to honk the horn.
    Tick (insistently): Arthur! Honk if you love justice!!
  • Blow-Hole the giant whale man... perhaps the most bizarre example of a Chekhov's Gunman in recorded history.
  • When The Tick tries to give a Tick Signal to Mayor Blank.
    Mayor Blank: You guys keep trying to give me these things and they just don't work. Every time we flash the Die Fledermaus Signal he unplugs his phone and skips town for a week.
  • The Tick ends up going on a vision quest. Unfortunately, his spirit guide is his own mind, which isn't a lot of help.
    Tick's Mind: Sorry I haven't been around much. I get easily distracted by shiny objects.
    • At one point, The Tick has to ascend a down escalator. His spirit guide tells him to pick up the pace, which leads to The Tick griping, "I don't have little wings on my head like some people!"
  • During his time in Antwerp as part of the Superhero Exchange Program, The Tick is scolded by city officials for his style of patrolling, jumping from roof to roof, damaging their architecture. That may fly in the US where every building is just a block of concrete, but they don't tolerate that crap in Europe.
    • Tick takes very well to the continental european style of superheroics; coffee and pastry for breakfast, patroling til lunch, a siesta, then dancing all night at the town hotspots.
    • Tick's rematch with Eastern-Bloc Robot Cowboy, the foremost robotics export of the former USSR, who transplanted his brain into a walking, talking vending machine (that speaks like a bad cowboy movie), equipped with laser guns. This time, Tick hits him with a quarter right in his coin slot, causing his brain to be ejected from the machine.
    Tick: Alright! I bought his brain!
    • Octo-Paganini and Robot Cowboy's ultimate plan; replacing the King of Belgium with a robot duplicate. While the robot looks okay, it has very obvious hinges on its jaw and speaks in a ridiculously unconvincing robot voice.
  • Tick and his relationship with his "talking dog" Speak (actually a capybara Tick found in the Amazon and hallucinated as speaking after hitting his head). Speak has no Amplified Animal Aptitude, barely moves and generally seems to be either terrified or slightly concussed. But the Tick is so convinced that Speak is awesome that it's heartwarming in a demented kind of way.
    Tick: Give it to me straight, Doc! What's wrong with my dog?!
    Vet: That's just it Tick, you don't have a dog.
    Tick: Eh?
    Vet: Speak is a capybara, Tick. A rodent. But he's one of the world's largest.
    Tick: All right! Way to go, Speak!
    • Gets even better when Carmalita comes across him giving Speak a fleabath later in the episode.
    Tick: Hey Carmalita, guess what? Speak's not a dog at all! He's the world's biggest rat!
    "I will name you *Speak*! Because that is what you do!"
  • Tick has quite a history with head injuries. In the episode "Evil Sits Down For a Moment", the group fights a supervillain with telekinetic control over furniture, and Tick ends up falling off a flying dining room set, falls 10.000 feet, through the ground and into the subway where he's run over by a subway train. It then cuts back to Arthur's apartment, where Tick is now speaking with a British accent.
    Tick: Fresh horses for all my men!
    • From the same episode, Die Fledermaus has been caught up in a Dating Catwoman situation with the villain, The Ottoman, and finds himself having to choose between her and helping American Maid on top of the flying carpet.
    Maus: *looks at American Maid hanging from the carpet* We have a history, she's a force for good, wouldn't let me fall... *looks to the Ottoman* Wants to tie me down, force for evil - *looks to the left where an airplane is heading towards them* AIRPLANE!!!
  • The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight (BOOM BABY!!) fills the episode 'The Tick vs. The Tick' with delight. And explosives.
  • The Tick asking one of The Idea Men about their evil scheme.
    Idea Man: Uh, well, we thought we'd steal a lot of money, and then we'd be rich! And we wouldn't have to work anymore!
    Tick: You CADS!
    • From the same episode, no one has any goddamn idea what the Idea Men's demands are, because their masks muffles their speech so badly all you hear is gibberish. Eventually they resort to holding up a sign with the words "Give Money Or We Blow Dam"
  • From the season 2 premiere:
    Arthur: It's only hobby night! You can't fight crime with a macaroni duck!
    Tick: I'll be the judge of that! (storms out, and his head smashes through the top of the door frame)
  • In the first episode, an off-screen interviewer asks The Tick if he has any supernatural powers. The Tick admits "no" to all of them. When the interviewer asks if he could destroy the Earth:
    Tick: Egad, I hope not! That's where I keep all my stuff!
  • Handy's combat strategy: "DON'T JUST STAND THERE; EAT HIS HEAD!"
  • Baby Boomerangatuang's Battle Cry: "It's okay to play with dolls!"
  • In "Coach Fussel's Lament", Charles kidnaps The Tick, uses a giant ray gun to turn him into a two-headed Bluebird that can only speak French, and holds an auction to sell him to the highest bidder, inviting all of the major villains of The City. Naturally, Author rallies his super hero friends to mount a rescue, which leads to Charles' house getting wrecked. That's when he sees his parents coming home and when Charles says "Oh great, my parents...", all the villains panic and drive off. The sight several adult villains running away as if they're kids afraid of getting busted is hilarious.
  • In "The Tick vs. Science", almost all the characters have their minds switched. Arthur ends up in the body of Dr. Mung Mung's tongue monster Tung-Tung he met earlier.
    Arthur-in-Tung-Tung: I can taste the floor! I can taste everything!
    • As they march to Chairface Chippendale's home:
    Tick-in-Zebra: How are you doing up there, Arthur?
    Arthur-in-Tung-Tung: I can taste your back.
    [Tick-in-Zebra screams]
  • In "The Tick vs. Dinosaur Neil", a scientist (who's a parody of Dr. Strangelove) creates a gigantic pair of pants to trap the rampaging Dinosaur Neil in.
    Scientist: (lightning struck the gigantic pants, setting them on fire) LIAR, LAIR! PANTS ON FIRE!
  • "The Tick Vs Arthur's Bank Account"
    • The Tick telling Arthur they need to come up with battle cries.
    Tick: You know, the things we say as we rush into battle!
    Arthur: Oh, you mean like "Not in the face, not in the face"?
    Tick: Hmm, lacks force, chum.
    • After Tick and Arthur have a falling out over Tick ruining Arthurs credit rating, leading to him kicking Tick out, Tick sulks in his rickety "crime tower" like a child in a treehouse.
    • Handy saying that Tick is "sulking in his tent like Achilles" and the rest of the Terror's Legion of Doom just stare blankly at him. This is especially funny with Stalingrad, who's a graduate student and should atleast recognize the reference.
    • When American Maid says We Need a Distraction, Arthur just recites "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to the villains.
    • When the Tick finally shows up, Stalingrand and Tuun-La, Not of This World, immediatly pull a Screw This, I'm Outta Here! and decides to elope together. Whats extra funny is that Stalingrad tells Tuun-La he "always loved her", even though they met like a week ago.
    • Arthur gets the closest thing he has to an arch-enemy; Handy, the Human Ton's Companion Cube. Whats even sadder is that Handy is WINNING at first.