Also from that episode; NEIL, WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU'VE PISSED THE BED!
Can you PLEASE stop talking about my mother's VAGINA?!
She'd get it! Right in the bumholey!
"Carli's fanny on your face, on your face, on your face! Carli's fanny on your face, and your bellend!" (Sung by Jay to the tune of 'London Bridge is Falling Down'. While jumping on top of Simon on the sofa.)
Simon vomiting all over Carli's little brother.
The boy's conversation after Mr Kennedy comes in and starts to molest Neil, mostly because Neil is so non-plussed.
Neil: He did give us vodka.
Will: That's called grooming, Neil.
Neil: Is it?
Neil: Oh. *grins, then lies down* Goodnight!
Will: Was that a dream or did that just happen?
Jay: That was your wet dream.
Will: No, it wasn't.
Neil: He rubbed my legs...
Jay: That's what you get for leading on peados you slut.
Will: Shouldn't we report him?
Neil: He said don't tell Gilbert though (about the Vodka)
Will: Don't tell him about the swimming or the planned sexual assault when you're drunk?
Neil asking for sex advice from Jay, who clearly has no idea what he's talking about.
Jay: You have to put it all the way in. Right up to the balls.
Neil: And do you put the balls in?
Jay: ... Yeah, can do. Some girls like it, some don't.
Will's tirade against Neil's dad, Kevin.
Keith: Jay, there is always trouble when you're around but Will, I'm especially surprised at you!
Will: Oh piss off!
Keith: What? Don't talk to me like that in my own house!
Will: Oh I'm so sorry. My manners. PISS OFF, PLEASE!
Keith: I've had enough of your lip.
Will: Oh you'd like my lip, wouldn't you? Right round your bellend! If Mr Chippy doesn't get there first! What's he gonna knock up, a closet for you to hide in? You bumder!
Will, Simon and Jay get thrown out of the house. Then later Simon claims Neil's dad touched him.
The best is the long silence after Will's rant and the look on Kevin's face. He knows he's just been insulted, but clearly can't get his head around what a "bumder" is supposed to be.
Each of the lads' reactions to being high. Simon is simply clueless as usual, accidentally knocking Tara out. Jay gets paranoid that the police are after him. Neil goes on a bit of a trip before falling asleep thanks to the sleeping pills. Will ends up losing control of his arms and ends up needing to go to hospital.