Funny / The Inbetweeners

"Hi Carli!"

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

Multiple episodes

• "Bus wankers!"
• Any time one of the boys makes a sound effect after the mention of Tara.
  • Mostly when Jay is hungover and does the sound.
• "She'd get it! Right in the bumhole!"
• In Series 3, the Running Gag that every time Will meets someone new, they refer to him as "the kid who shat himself in the exam."
• Will's narration is littered with deliciously snarky one-liners.

Series 1

1. - First Day

• Neil asking for sex advice from Jay, who clearly has no idea what he's talking about.
  Jay: You have to put it all the way in. Right up to the balls.
  Neil: And do you put the balls in?
  Jay: ... Yeah, can do. Some girls like it, some don't.
• "Can you PLEASE stop talking about my mother's VAGINA?!"
• Will's rant about how all the other people in the pub are underage when the barman refuses to serve him. Highlights include pointing at a girl and yelling about how she's obviously wearing a push-up bra.
  Look! Just look around you. Everyone in this bloody pub is underage! He's underage! She's underage! He looks a bit older cos he's uglier, but he's in the year below even me! Look at that bumfluff! 16! That bra's got padding in it! 16. His mum still buys his trousers! 16! At a push, 17! Yeah, he looks old and he's meant to be hard, but he's stlll only 16! All these people you've served, whatever bloody ID they've used, are underage!

2. - Bunk Off

• Simon's hilariously bad impersonation of his mother while talking to Gilbert on the phone.
  Will: Well, that...was fucking dreadful.
• Jay singing: ♪ "Carli's fanny on your face, on your face, on your face! Carli's fanny on your face, and your bellend!" ♪, to the tune of 'London Bridge is Falling Down'. While jumping on top of Simon on the sofa.
• Shortly afterwards, Will's drunken rant to Neil's dad:
  Will: Aw, piss off!
  Kevin: Don't talk to me like that in my own house!
  Will: Oh sorry, my manners. Piss off - please!
  Kevin: I've had enough of your lip.
  Will: Oh you'd like my lip wouldn't you, right round your bell end! If Mr Chippy doesn't get there first! What's he gonna knock up, a closet for you to hide in? You BUMDER!!!
  • Will, Simon and Jay get thrown out of the house. Then later Simon claims Neil's dad touched him.
  • The best is the long silence after Will's rant and the look on Kevin's face. He knows he's just been insulted, but clearly can't get his head around what a "bumder" is supposed to be.
• Simon vomiting all over Carli's little brother.
  • Shortly before, a drunken Will, in a completely blasé tone, explaining to Carli's worried little brother how his parents would be totally obliterated if a dirty bomb were to go off in London.
  • When Simon tries seducing Carli while chugging a vile concoction of whiskey, vodka and crème de menthe. Take a good look at the plate of brownies he eats from. At some point it disappears, meaning he'd eaten the whole thing offscreen, hence the vomiting.
  • Simon offering Carli a swig of his aforementioned cocktail. And then proceeding to ask her to finger herself.
    Carli: Have you been drinking spirits?
    Simon: Sorry, don't know what I was thinking. Would you like some?
    Carli: I'll stick to wine, thanks.
    Simon: Wine is for girls.
    Carli: I am a girl.
    Simon: This is a man's drink. If you don't want it, I'll have it. And if you can't take me like this, well I'm sorry, babes, but this is the package.
  Simon: You know why I'm here. And I know why I'm here. And you know why I'm here. Kiss me.
  Carli: You know I've got a boyfriend.
  Simon: Just finger yourself in front of me.
  Carli: Jesus, Simon!
  Simon: They do it in Caravan Club.

3. - Thorpe Park

• Donovan starts mocking Simon's car, and Will mutters:
  Will: He's just jealous 'cause his family hasn't discovered fire yet.
• Neil gets his clothes stolen and ends up walking around Thorpe Park in a vest shirt and speedos.
  • It gets funnier when you remember that this was filmed in a public place before the series was aired. Blake Harrison said it was the most embarrassing experience in his life.
• An extremely cringe-inducing one: when Will loudly complains about the "inconsiderate arseholes", right up to the moment he sits down next to them. Then he realises he's just insulted two young men with Down's Syndrome.
  • When they get their own back by vandalising the car.
    Will: At least they left the tape deck.

4. - Girlfriend

• "Football friend!"
• Jay attempting to make Charlotte laugh by doing his impression of the Crazy Frog. Cringe Comedy at its finest, followed by an awkward silence.
• Will tries to impress Charlotte with his history of sexual escapades. He loses track of his lies and winds up admitting to shagging an 11-year-old.
• Will and Simon have a row which ends with Simon yelling "I've had friends before you and I'll have friends after you've pissed off!", only to turn around and see Jay and Neil pretending to hump some textbooks.

5. - Caravan Club

• Jay and Neil look at a porn mag and tell Will that they've found a girl who looks like his mother. When Will takes a look, he's visibly shocked. Remember that we never find out exactly what his mother does for work.
• The disgusted reactions of the boys, when Jay's father takes a ridiculously long and loud shit.
• Will gets hit on by a goth girl, and then decides he wants to slide around on the floor by his socks. She's not impressed.
• "You fucked a girl in my car?!" And of course, the hilarious reaction seconds later from Simon, Will and Jay when they learn why the car seats are wet.
• When Simon is making out with a girl, she turns away for a split second, which is all the time it takes for him to get his pants off and put on a condom.

6. - Xmas Party

• While the lads are preparing the school gym for the Christmas prom, the door bursts open and in walks Neil wearing the most ridiculous tux◊ possible. For context, it's a Gender Flip on the Impossibly-Low Neckline.
• When Donovan corners Will and starts threatening him for talking to Charlotte, Will starts yelling for help in an increasingly sotto voice: "Mr. Gilbert? MR.GIL-BERT?!"

Series 2

1. - The Field Trip

• The scene on the boat, when the fish jumps on board. Fans voted this the greatest moment in the whole series.
  • Jay, in a moment of total panic, launches a flare.
  • "And say what!? HELP, WE CAUGHT A FISH?!"
  • Special mention goes to Neil's attempt at a Mercy Kill... by punching the fish repeatedly to death.
    Will: Well, that was a much more dignified end for him.
• Will's appallingly cringe-inducing impression of Yoda, leading Lauren to ask him if he's got "some kind of problem".
• Simon and Will discussing Lauren, while a group of seagulls harmlessly hop around them:
  Simon: You are alright with me seeing Lauren later on, yeah?
  Will: Yeah, of course.
  Simon: She's pretty cool, actually.
  Will: Is she? FUCK! OFF! YA BEADY-EYED LITTLE SHITS!
  [The seagulls barely react]
  Simon: Are you sure you're alright?
• The boy's conversation after Mr Kennedy comes in and starts to molest Neil, mostly because Neil is so easy-going about it all.
  Neil: He did give us vodka.
  Will: That's called grooming, Neil.
  Neil: Is it?
  Will: Yes.
  Neil: Oh. [grins, then lies down] Goodnight!
  • And:
    Will: Was that a dream or did that just happen?
    Jay: That was your wet dream.
    Will: No, it wasn't.
    Neil: He rubbed my legs...
    Jay: That's what you get for leading on paedos, you slut.
    Will: Shouldn't we report him?
  • Earlier:
    Neil: He said don't tell Gilbert though. (about the Vodka)
    Will: Don't tell him about the swimming or the planned sexual assault when you're drunk?
    [pause]
    Neil: Both.
  • Also:
    Jay: This [vodka] is brilliant. We can all get well pissed.
    Will: Although, technically it means we're now pimping Neil out.
    Simon: I'm cool with that.
    Neil: Me too.
• Lauren’s repeated questions while the gang are stuck on the boat.
  Lauren: Is that a fish, Will?
  Will: YES LAUREN, IT’S A FUCKING FISH! GIVE. ME. A. MINUTE

2. - Work Experience

• After Will gets violently hazed, his mother tells Mr Gilbert that he got frog spawn in his underpants. Mr Gilbert then excuses himself, but can be heard laughing offscreen.
  • And when Neil's dad hears about it, he gets this suspiciously faraway look on his face.
• Neil asking his boss at the newspaper job how long his lunch hour is.
• Simon getting the shit beaten out of him by a twelve-year-old, just as he was getting a handjob from a girl.
  Simon: He didn't knock me out, I fucking slipped! I would have had him!
  Jay: What were you gonna do, spunk in his eye?

3. - Will's Birthday

• Will gets an embarrassing shirt vest for his birthday. When he starts to complain, his mother fakes tears until he agrees to wear it.
• "How much Lego can you stick up your bum?"
  • In a deleted scene, Simon asks if Neil ever stuck a Lego figurine up his bum. Neil suddenly gets very sheepish.
• Jay claiming he's "up to his neck in sluts at the moment."
• Patrice managing to string together enough English to inform Will that his mother is very sexy and that he had a wank over her. Made even worse thanks to Will's mum getting very flustered over a handsome French teenager in her house.

4. - A Night Out in London

• Jay showing the other boys a video on his new laptop. You can tell from their disgusted reactions exactly what video they're watching. Jay's the only one enjoying the show.
• "Bus wankers!"
  • When Jay tries the 'bus wankers' joke a second time, it ends in a brief altercation with two of the men he insulted after their car is forced to stop for traffic. One of the men laughs to his friend that he'd rather be a bus wanker than drive a shitty yellow car like Simon's.
• When Will sees Rachel talking to another guy, he gets jealous and asks her why she'd been flirting with him earlier (she wasn't). Then this exchange happens:
  Rachel: Look, Will, I think you might have gotten the wrong idea.
  Will: [in a high pitched, indignant voice] Evidently!

5. - The Duke of Edinburgh Awards

• The cock wig scene, another case of cringe comedy. For context, Jay and Neil pour a tube of hair removal cream down Will's pants as he sleeps in the school common room, causing his pubic hair to fall out in the shower. Remembering a half-assed suggestion from Simon, Will stuffs wig down his pants for his date with Daisy, which she pulls out before they can have sex.
  Simon: You spunked your pants, in the middle the common room, in the day, while there were people around?
  Will: Yes.
  Simon: And then your pubes fell out?
  Will: Yes.
• This immortal line from Will:
  Will: Sorry if I seem a little stressed out, it's just I've got no fucking pubes!
• Jay masturbates in an old lady's room while she sleeps. She wakes up and startles him, which causes Jay to ejaculate and attempt walk out in embarrassment. Then her family comes in and one of them makes the mistake of shaking Jay's hand. The old lady in question is actually quite flattered and tells Jay that it's nothing she hasn't seen before.
  Old Lady: He did that over me, he did.

6. - Exam Time

• Will soils himself in the exam.
  Will: I thought it was just a fart! I thought it was safe!
• He then carries his soiled trousers to the pub in a bag:
  Simon: I can't believe he's actually brought a bag of shit to the pub with him.
  Jay: Your dad brings a bag of shit to the pub with him all the time... Your mum!
• After knocking back at least four pints in quick succession, Will wanders out the back of the pub to where Jay is just after being dumped by Chloe, he finally disposes of said soiled trousers by dramatically dropping them into the bin
  Will: Goodbye, cruel pants!
• Carli forcing Simon to explain what he thinks "Having the builders in" means.

Series 3

1. - The Fashion Show

• Simon's Wardrobe Malfunction. Word of God says that Joe Thomas really did get his testicle out.
• Earlier on:
  Will: Jay driving us to school really did make me feel like royalty. Unfortunately the royalty I felt like was Princess Diana.
• Simon throws a tantrum when his parents and brother make fun of his catwalk practice:
  Alan: He's just like Naomi Campbell!
  Will: [narrating] So Simon was well on his way to becoming a supermodel. He had the temperament. Now all he needed was bulimia and a cocaine addiction.
• Jay repeatedly trying to get Carli to make him part of the fashion show and insisting he's "first reserve" and then getting an ear piercing which has very obviously become infected by the end of the episode.

2. - The Gig and the Girlfriend

• Each of the lads' reactions to being high. Simon is simply clueless as usual, accidentally knocking Tara out. Jay gets paranoid that the police are after him. Neil goes on a bit of a trip before falling asleep thanks to the sleeping pills. Will ends up losing control of his arms and ends up needing to go to hospital.
• Neil's slow motion dance when the sleeping pills start to kick in. He still attempts his robot dance routine from the Caravan Club episode, but really slowly.
• Neil and Jay's bewildered reaction when the drug dealer accuses them of being racists, then when he finally agrees to sell them some weed, Jay asks if he'll roll it for them.

3. - Will's Dilemma

• The moment where Jay, attempting to show off his non-existent motorcycling skills, lets the bike uncontrollably speed into some steps, sending him flying off through a door.
• And then, in the next scene:
  Jay: I should fucking sue him, those tyres had no grip.
  Will: They don't tend to grip so well when they're up in the air.
• Jay claims he used to do stunt riding, leading Will to mutter, "It rhymes with 'stunt'."
• Jay and Neil catch Mr Gilbert looking at cuddly toys in Waterside. He gives them 4 weeks detention to save face.
• "Oh wow, did you get in the Guinness Book of Fictional Records?"
• This exchange:
  Kerry: I like your glasses! Do you need them to see?
  Will: Yes, Kerry.

4. - The Trip to Warwick

• I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR FUCKING FANNY OFF, YOU TWAT!
  • Also from that episode; NEIL, WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU'VE PISSED THE BED!
• When Jay claims he slept with a Dutch girl, Will replies, "Ooh, what did she do? Give you a blowjob in a windmill? Wank you off with a pair of clogs?"
• Neil drinking Orange-ade filled with fag butts and declaring it 'the best night of his life'.
• Tara's sister Sophie bluntly tells Tara she probably won't enjoy having sex with Simon but is willing to let her use her bed because she wants to make sure they at least do it somewhere comfortable. Simon's response?
  Simon: Absolutely. Only in her vagina.
  [Awkward silence]
  Sophie: I meant in my bed.
  Simon: Yeah, so did I.
  Jay: Why'd you say "vagina", then?
  Simon: Hmm...

5. - Home Alone

• The lads constantly teasing Will about how his mum has gone off to have sex with Fergus, an old friend of hers from university.
  Will: I'm not one to pass judgements but, to me, Fergus looked like a massive ginger bell end with a shit car and I hated him.
• Will kicking the door of his house closed, knocking out his elderly neighbor.
  Will: Fucking Mrs. Sprigett!
• This exchange between Simon and Jay:
  Simon: What am I gonna tell my dad?
  Jay: To leave your mum. She's a dog.
  Simon: Fuck off!
• The group’s conversation about Mr. Gilbert’s comment about dating Will’s mother:
  Will: Yeah, hilarious, you vandalise something, I end up at the University of Lincoln.
  Jay: I'll tell you what will be hilarious.
  Will: What’s that?
  Jay: When Gilbert fucks your mum. He will crush her!
• Neil and Jay making a mess in Will's kitchen, causing him to frantically run around trying to clean up after them before giving up and making them go outside for a walk. When they come back, Simon is casually in Will's kitchen because Neil forgot to lock the front door.

6. - Camping Trip

• Gilbert's reaction to Neil giving him a blow-by-blow description of how he lost his virginity and may possibly having gotten her pregnant.
• When the car rolls into the lake, Neil then throws a rock into it.
  Neil: You said smash a window!
• The Vomit Chain Reaction that happens in the tent.
• The lads' game of text roulette, which involves swapping phones and sending an embarrassing text to someone. Jay sends Carli a text from Simon's phone telling her that he loves her and is using his tears to wank with, Neil sends Will's mother a text saying that he'd love to be back inside her, Simon sends the girl that Neil had sex with a marriage proposal, and Will texts Jay's dad with an incestuous message. Neil receives a reply that the girl in question isn't pregnant, but has chlamydia, Jay's dad replies with a stern telling off about how they were right to send him to a psychologist, Will's mum apparently either didn't read the message or was Genre Savvy enough to know what was going on, and Carli's reply to Simon is kept secret, although it was likely positive, given Simon's reaction and how they're together at the start of the first movie.

The Inbetweeners Movie

• The last scene of The Movie. Mr Gilbert on a quad bike. Naked.
• Neil, Will and Simon dancing over to the girls in an otherwise empty nightclub is hilariously awkward. Will is especially inept on the dancefloor, calling a halt to proceedings and just asking the girls if they can sit with them as it's awkward for all involved.
• Mr Gilbert's goodbye speech when the lads finish school. One of the other teachers even tries to stop him and he shushes him down.
  I will forget each and every one of you almost immediately. So, if you do find yourself at a loose end next year, and think it might be nice to pop in and see how we're getting on, don't. This isn't The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on BBC2 who keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past twelve months. At best, I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after your best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.
• Some of Will's monologue-quotes from the movie.
  Will: When people now ask me if I like football, I say yes, I do like football. But not Burnley. Burnley can fuck off.
  Will: I've found that dads are a lot like arseholes. Everyone's got one, and they're arseholes.
• Will's Blind Without 'Em moments during the skinny-dipping scene. "I've lost my glasses!"

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