Funny / The Dictator

• After it's stated that Aladeen changed several words in the dictionary to "Aladeen", including both "positive" and "negative", we're shown a doctor and his patient:
  Doctor: Do you want the Aladeen News or the Aladeen news?
  Patient: The... "Aladeen" News?
  Doctor: You are HIV Aladeen.
  A few seconds pass and the patient then proceeds to smile in relief for a few seconds, suddenly look extremely worried for a few seconds, smiles again...
• When it seems Aladeen is pulling out of his car to enter his palace being greeted by several identical-looking guards, one immediately defects and shoots him in the head. Chaos ensues, the guards are panicking and depressing music plays in the background. Then the camera pans to "another" Aladeen who says "Looks like we need to find a new double" as he stares at his duplicate's dead corpse that has a huge hole in the head.
  • Aladeen starts shouting at his double’s corpse for daring to “disrespect” him for not answering, before calmly stating that it’s fine and that the double probably had a bad day. He then turns to his guard and silently orders the double to be killed.
  • Next, Aladeen drops an almond into the huge hole in his double's head where he got shot, and proceeds to pull it out still wanting to eat it.
• Aladeen learning to masturbate...to the tune of Kelly Clarkson. Especially the Shout-Out to Forrest Gump.
  • Which is amusingly not an Arabic cover like half the soundtrack. In particular, "Let's Get It On" when Aladeen puts the moves on Zoey.
• Aladeen, realizing that Tamir has switched him with an imposter to give out the speech at the UN in a Prince and Pauper-esque manner, screams "He's not the legitimate leader!! He's not the legitimate leader!!" in front of an angry mob that includes Zoey, then they catch on and like the phrase so much they all join him in chanting "He's not a legitimate leader! He's not a legitimate leader!"
• Aladeen's whole "torture" session with Clayton.
  • Clayton is not only incredibly open about wanting to torture and kill Aladeen but has a weird rapport with him.
  • Aladeen derides Clayton for his poor choice of torture implements.
  • Clayton ends up being set on fire by his blowtorch, with Aladeen breaking free. What does he say as he runs from the burning man?
  "I'll be back with help! JK! Just kidding!"
• Aladeen, having been stripped of his powers by Tamir and thrown out into the streets of New York, isn't too hesitant to ask the police for help to kill Tamir.
  Aladeen: (to a NYPD car) How much do you charge for assassinations? (NYPD car drives away without responding)
• This exchange:
  Zoey: My name's Zoey!
  Aladeen: I don't care!
  Zoey: What's yours?
  Aladeen: My name is Ala... son...
  Zoey: "Allison"?
  Aladeen: Right! Allison.
  Zoey: What's your last name?
  Aladeen: (Sees Haffezi's Burgers as they drive past it) ... "Burgers"!
• While working at Zoey's store, a shoplifter who tried stealing money from Zoey's cashier gets scolded by Aladeen for doing so, and the shoplifter asks him a racist question "Who are you, Osama bin Laden's best friend?" judging Aladeen looks like an Arab. Aladeen complains that he doesn't like Osama, because right after he granted Osama asylum after SEAL Team Six shot Osama's double, Osama chose to leech off of him by staying at his guesthouse and bringing a new definition of terrorism to his bathroom.
• Aladeen is terrible at making fake names at the "Death to Aladeen!" Restaurant, as when the host who (correctly) suspects that he's Aladeen keeps interrogating him for his real name as he and the other staff and the patrons are armed with knives ready to chop his head off as revenge for trying to execute all of them, Aladeen comes up with "Ladees Washerroom", "Employs Musswasshans" and "Max... Immumoccupancyonehundredtwenty" from the signs Ladies Washroom, Employees Must Wash Hands, and Maximum Occupancy Not To Exceed 120 Persons.
• The whole Mistaken for Terrorist subtitled helicopter scene with the terrified couple. Made even funnier by the fact that it's a completely innocent conversation. Aladeen and Nadal are having a conversation in a mixture of Wadiyan and English, as while Aladeen is talking about what type of series and year his new Porsche is, he states (in English) it's "A brand new 911 2012" and that "911, it's the best!" The couple can only comprehend the numbers, and grow suspicious that Aladeen is referring to the 9/11 attacks and the current year they're in, 2012. It also doesn't help when Aladeen mentioned he wrecked his Porsche and mimics crashing sounds and counts down in English from 5 while wearing a back support brace that resembles a suicide vest.
  • Well, innocent besides the casual discussion about how Aladeen's sheltering Osama bin Laden.
    • And wouldn't you know it, during Aladeen and Zoey's wedding, the camera pans over to one of the dictator's mansion's windows, where Bin Laden can be seen quickly ducking out of view.
• Zoey hamming it up as a Granola Girl stereotype after she gets Aladeen out of jail and rails at the cops for racial profiling.
  Zoey: Where did you get your police sensitivity training from, the STASI?! [becomes inaudible as Aladeen realized he's falling for her]...and I know what I'm talking about because I majored in FEM LIT!"
• Aladeen begs Nadal to help him get his power back, but then Nadal refuses and defends he's having a perfect life as an Apple Genius. Aladeen asks if he's having it so good, then what does he do, and Nadal, in a less positive tone, answers: "Well mostly, I clean semen out of laptops". Aladeen congratulates him, but then Nadal asks Aladeen for his old job back.
• Aladeen asks Nadal to "pretend for just one second that I'm a complete idiot", and without skipping a beat, Nadal says "Okay, I'm there."
• Aladeen kicking down a fat kid in Zoey's store who keeps pulling down the merchandise off the shelves and then tells Aladeen to "suck it" while grabbing his crotch when he tells him to stop doing it... which turned out to be the son of one of the people reponsible for hiring Zoey's store to provide the produce for the event Aladeen needs to get into, causing her contract with them to be terminated and forcing Aladeen to sabotage her competitor to get it back.
• "Hey, Allison, can you take out the garbage?" And he does... right into a passing taxicab, bin and all.
• Literally everything relating to the Dead Guy Puppet head:
  • Aladeen needs a convincing fake beard for himself, so the best solution? Taking it directly from another guy, who in this case is a deceased African warlord. When sneaking into the funeral of the guy, a black attendant asks Aladeen and Nadal if they are friends of the deceased.
    Aladeen: Ehm, how do I put this... he was "my nigger"!
  • The attendant respectfully asking Nadal: "Please relate to him that there could be two funerals today!"
  • While trying to leave the man on good terms, Aladeen adds "I love your music, by the way. And I'm so, SO sorry that Whitney turned out like she did!" and Nadal pushes him away from the guy replying "It's not Bobby Brown..."
  • The plan is to cut the warlord's beard with a pair of scissors, but when the funeral attendants notice that Alaneed blocked the door and start banging against it, Aladeen orders Nadal to move onto Plan B... CHOPPING THE MAN'S HEAD OFF. And they're off running away in slow-motion from a mob of furious black people, Nadal holding the head by the hair, as "Battle Without Honour Or Humanity" plays. But the real kicker?
    Aladeen: Why did you chop off his head??
    Nadal: You said "Plan B"!
    Aladeen: Plan B was to have coffee and regroup! And it was NOT to chop his head off!!!
  • Aladeen uses the head to prank Nadal by using it as a human sockpuppet, then plants it among some melons in a rival health store, causing it to be shut down.
  • It finally returns as a Brick Joke during the ending montage with Nadal using it to give Aladeen a blowjob in revenge, only to turn out that it was his idiot body double again, who doesn't even react in the slightest.
• "Ah, America... Built by the blacks, owned by the Chinese!" (or alternatively, "The birthplace of AIDS...")
• 'Shoplifters will be water boarded'.
• Aladeen enters a restaurant having suspected Nadal entered it, but then it turns out it's the "Death to Aladeen!" Restaurant. He recognizes the host as a guy he "executed" for blocking his stairs, a waiter (or busser, it's not really that clear) as one of his former generals who got "executed" because Aladeen got jealous at him for winning the cereal toy, and the funny part, he sees a steak "moo" angry at him because it turns out to have been a cow he had executed.