Funny / The Campaign Trail

President Reagan's reelection campaign isn't looking too hot.

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Some answers, no matter if you get them while honestly making a mistake or if you're intentionally tanking your campaign are incredibly amusing.

• 1984 Reagan is shock-full of them, especially given your massive lead on the start, you are given the option to denounce your policies and successes, including denouncing Reaganomics as a whole! The advisor's answers are nothing short of incredulous.

In-Game and Endings

• The 1946 CA- 12 U.S. House Election covers the beginning of Richard Nixon's journey in politics, and leans heavily into his way of speaking.
  • John Henry Hoeppel, the Prohibition Party's candidate, comes across as being somehow more strange than Nixon and his exclusion from the debates leads to him storming down the aisle absolutely wasted before asking Voorhis a nonsensical question.
  • Managing to win as Nixon without resorting to his signature dirty tactics brings up the fateful conversation Nixon has with Bob Haldeman about Watergate... only for Nixon to immediately shut down Bob's plan to spy on the DNC while calling it a "kooky plan".

Nixon: "Suggesting felonies like some two-bit crook, you're out of your goddamn mind to be suggesting that. I don't need to cheat to win, goddamnit, are you trying to make an ass of me?"

• The entirety of Sumner'68. A Mind Screw of a mod about famed civil rights crusader Charles Sumner being time travelled into the future of 1968, where he competes against George Wallace in the election. The mod includes Sumner's vocabulary collapsing into a recreation of the writing style of the previous Sumner 1868 mod, with all the grammatical errors and out of place modern slang that entails, a meeting with the actual ghost of Andrew Johnson, who claims to be possessing George Wallace in a plan to destroy America from beyond the grave, and much more.
• 1972d has a lot of comedy sprinkled in.
  • Gus Hall can end up accompanying a group of CPUSA members and activists to protest outside LBJ's ranch, with their mere presence terrifying the locals. Despite the lack of response from Johnson or his family, a student activist with a wide-lens camera manages to catch a photo of an LBJ that is described as looking much more older and decrepit than the domineering powerhouse he once was.
  • Having Bobby Seale as your running mate allows Hall to call for black liberation and even refer to the Black Panthers as his "black brothers and sisters". Hall can even call Seale his "black brother" before election day, leaving the Black Panthers stone-faced.
  • Hall's only response to Jane Fonda outright telling the media she's not a communist is to drink. He then starts hearing Yippies in Central Park chanting her name.
  • Using the bigshot cheat to outright win the election will be shown in-universe as the Soviets commencing "OPERATION SPACEBAR" to rig the 1972 election in the CPUSA's favor. Unsurprisingly, this results in Gus Hall being arrested by Federal agents and relations with the Soviet Union reaching an all-time low.
• The Nixon side of the 1972 mod, 1972: Peace With Honor also has some humorous moments, mostly at the expense of Nixon (and his personality).
  • The mod has some CYOA elements, including who wins the Democratic Primaries. If Muskie wins, but Nixon defeats him in the general while covering up Watergate, the ending includes this exchange:
  Haldeman: "Well, and remember, this was right before the convention. But Colson showed me this letter he forged it to make it look like this Democratic bigwig was filing it, and it accused Muskie of having a bastard child—"
  Nixon: "Jesus Christ."
  Haldeman: "—sleeping with all sorts of prostitutes, taking acid, and being a homosexual. It was—"
  Nixon: "Well that last part is true, you know."
  • Before the DNC is held, the Democrats are identified on the electoral map as simply "The Enemy". The Deep South, which will immediately bolt to a third-party Wallace if Nixon takes a liberal stance on Desegregation, is also called "Nuts and Kooks". The growing anti-war crowd is also present, and generalized by Nixon as "Flower Children".
  • If Humphrey wins the convention and manages to beat Nixon, the ending shows that his dirty tricks are exposed anyway. In a shocking turn of events however, Humphrey pardons Nixon and this leads to Tom Hayden eventually becoming president following a slew of hawkish presidents. While being interviewed in 1991 with Jane Fonda, both are eventually informed of Nixon's passing. Despite his mixed legacy and him setting the stage for wars in Angola and Mozambique, President Hayden ultimately concludes that Nixon was a decent president who did what was expected of him in a really bad situation. First Lady Fonda on the other hand?
  Fonda: "Richard Nixon was a scumbag and a crook".
  • If Shirley Chisholm wins the convention and subsequently wins the election, Nixon will be immediately arrested and put on trial... only to be shot dead on the defendant's stand before he could punished for his many crimes. To capitalize on America's fascination with the president, a new comic series known as "Alternate Nixons◊" is made. Said comic series features various alternate history stories about Tricky Dick (yes, including one where he becomes a car salesman in Whittier after abandoning politics) from twenty-five different science fiction authors.
  • The "November" ending is written from the perspective of gonzo journalist Hunter Thompson who, believing George McGovern’s chances at victory to be nonexistent, starts drinking whiskey and making drunken bets with whoever he comes across. When McGovern shockingly wins, the entire campaign HQ breaks out in celebration at the victory. The journalist compares their screams to that of the 80,000 Cowboys fans at the Super Bowl last January, and it quickly breaks out in an orgy of mass joy, drugs and free love.
  • Losing to Muskie after admitting to Watergate leads to an ending where Lee Atwater and Lyn Nofziger discuss how Muskie ended up getting the blame for the fall of South Vietnam, concluding that he pretty much has no chance at re-election in 1976. Atwater then proposes a Southern Strategy to capitalize on the Democrats' growing unpopularity there, only for Nofziger to dismiss it as bullshit.
  • While the ending where Nixon commits suicide is not funny whatsoever and mostly somber in tone, it is briefly noted that conservative activists like Pat Buchanan and Roger Stone still claim that his death was the result of the CIA and disgruntled federal workers coming together in a JFK-like conspiracy to kill him. Needless to say, a recent poll is cited that shows that (unlike JFK) less than 6% of Americans believe in the conspiracy and other equally insane theories.
  • If Nixon admits to Watergate then loses to Ted Kennedy in the general election, the ending proceeds as a transcript between two unnamed people communicating at the 1976 Republican National Convention. One of the men tells a story about how the other man is like an old model of car, destined to be replaced. It's revealed that the man being snubbed is Richard Nixon himself, and the other man is Ronald Reagan. The punchline follows:
  Sounds of MAN ONE walking out, opening, closing the door.
  Sound of door opening.
  MAN ONE(Nixon): Can you at least consider Connally?
  MAN TWO(Reagan): Who?
• Despite the mod's overall serious tone regarding some of the final years for Korean democracy, 1971 South Korea can go completely off the rails should the player choose to answer wrong.
  • President Park in 1971 South Korea can end up using Kim Dae-Jung and Kim Il-sung, the leader of North Korea, having the same surname as evidence that Dae-Jung is a communist. This leads to everyone named Kim voting for Dae-Jung in protest.
  • Kim Dae-Jung can essentially commit political suicide by going out in favor of using Marxism as the basis of his new economic theory. To nobody's surprise, President Park charges Kim with breaking the National Security Law and the polling numbers for Kim absolutely plummet. After the election, Kim is swiftly arrested and sentenced to death.... only for it to be revealed as a dream Kim had on the day that he announced his presidential bid. He then resolves to hide his true ideology well.
• The prequel, 1963SouthKorea, is similar in tone, but shares the ability of the player to take things horribly off course.
  • One of the earliest questions is during the course of Park's 1961 coup, one of the options is to take part in an all-forces push against the anti-coup forces, which leads, hilariously, to Park dying via landmine. This abruptly ends the game, and the ending screen mocks Park's absurd failure at a Military Coup by saying it will serve as a perfect lesson to countless officers around the world who dream of a coup of not what to do.
  "You probably had no idea that, just 10 seconds ago, a single landmine would bring down your coup. But now you know, right? Landmines are such a scary weapon!"
  • Instead of trying to convince JFK (who he calls a leftist) to support his new regime, Park Chung-hee can invite Barry Goldwater to South Korea as propaganda fodder. It all goes well, until Goldwater accidentally makes the gaffe that the US must be ready to use nukes against North Korea.
  • Park, after delaying elections, is asked to justify his actions. One of his actions is to say that democracy is not a right, it is a luxury. This obviously goes over very poorly, and the advisor feedback responds with a Bidenesque "will you shut up, man?"
  • Some of the protests that have broken out since the collapse of the Syngman Rhee regime are mentioned to be actually urging people to stop protesting and accept the new Chang Myon cabinent. Yun can even express surprise at such a thing happening, and exclaim that it's that people are now outraged by the whole situation.
• 2019 North Korea, all you need to do is press the "yes" option to win. If you insist on refusing, Kim Jong-Un "vanishes" and is replaced by Kim Yo-Jong. Continue to do so, and Kim Il Sung returns back to the dead, boots you to the victory screen and announces he shall bring North Korea into a new age of prosperity.
• 2008 Spongebob, given the subject matter of Spongebob characters running for president, has many funny moments. Here are some highlights:
  • No matter what option is picked, the first debate between Spongebob, Squidward, and Patrick is a complete disaster where all three interrupt each other and argue constantly. It gets so bad to the point that the moderator just quits halfway through.
  • Patrick can end up meeting with Ross Perot in an attempt to get him to support his presidential campaign. Perot either turns his back on the Reform Party for rallying behind a literal Manchild (either endorsing Squidward or staying out of the race entirely) or begrudgingly endorses Patrick's bid for president while making his personal displeasure for him clear.
  • Patrick can end up denouncing fellow third-party candidate Stephen Hillenburg near the end of his campaign for being an advocate of faith healing, considering Autism a disease on par with cancer, overcharging for traced-over commissions, and running a fundraiser for an extremely shoddy streaming service.
  "Wrong person, bro. Wrong person."
  • If you choose all the rock-related questions, the ending is an EmperorLemon parody, starting to talk how Patrick shitposted his way into being a billionaire.
• 2016 Four-Way Redux (especially the Trump side) has many laughs to be had.
  • Trump can end up trying to get Russians to interfere in the election by leaking DNC and RNC emails. This can backfire horribly on Trump if he isn't careful, getting himself, most of his staffers and potentially Michael Flynn arrested for treason. Trump can either cooperate with the authorities or enter full Villainous Breakdown mode, raving about "ILLEGAL LEAKS from the HIGHLY CORRUPT fake-FBI" and that "THEY ARE TRYING TO END DEMOCRACY" on Twitter.
  • Thanks to CYOA, Trump's picture is changed to a courtroom sketch◊ of him looking angry while running mates Carson◊, Palin◊ and Sessions all gain resigned expressions (more likely than not due to the campaign basically becoming hopeless). Since Flynn is arrested as well, his picture is also turned into a courtroom sketch◊.]
  • Rubio's side isn't free of laughs either. In a question where new media is addressed, one of Rubio's options is to say he has a love for EDM music, name-dropping Nicki Minaj. If he chooses this, it's widely mocked, and Nicki herself responds to Rubio's attempts to get her attention with an #ImWithHer hashtag.
• Some endings using the bigshot cheat to win 50 states as a candidate have Developer's Foresight.
  • 1968 Viva Kennedy's 50 State Wallace victory is a wall of text with only one word:
  "WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE WALLAVE"
  • Winning all 50 states as Squidward in 2008Spongebob is framed as Mr. Krabs spending most of his fortune on framing Spongebob and Patrick for terrorist plots, forcing them off the ballot and handing Squidward an easy victory. He then proceeds to force Squidward to resign in a couple of months so he can take his rightful place as the true president. While clearing out his desk after shocking the world with his resignation, Squidward finds a sex tape featuring his mother and Mr. Krabs. Cue the Skyward Scream being heard throughout the DC Metro.
  • Midnight 1964, despite its Darker and Edgier theme, has two for LBJ and Goldwater. LBJ having a 50 state victory is shown as him essentially using Jim Crow-style tactics to prevent Goldwater's (mostly white) supporters from voting, resulting in the entire Deep South having a large African-American turnout for LBJ. Goldwater having a 50 state victory is framed as him flying out to Moscow and dropping a literal nuclear warhead on the Kremlin, vindicating his extremism to the American public and easily securing the presidency.
  • Using the bigshot cheat to win as Park Chung-hee in 1971Korea leads to him being suddenly assassinated by commander Kim Jae-gyu much like in real life. When asked about his motive, he proceeds to call out Park for using bigshot and says that he "gave him a big shot". For Kim Dae-Jung, he breaks out in excitement at the bigshot-induced victory, singing in Korean and lampshading that the average The Campaign Trail player can't speak the language, while Park admonishes him for cheating and vowing to win in a landslide next game using bigshot, too.
• Many endings where the bigshot cheat is used to lose all states are equally amusing.
  • Midnight 1964, if the cheat is used to make Goldwater lose all states, shows a shirtless and bearded edit of Goldwater, with the text "You didn't want to be president, you wanted be one with nature".
• When it happens, mods are remarkably consistent in emphasizing just how horrible of a running mate the gaffe-prone and unintelligent Dan Quayle is for the Republican nominee; when running as a Democrat, oftentimes you'll be lambasted for the sheer stupidity of not attacking him.
• In 1948 Red, if you play as Wallace, select Sam Rayburn, and ask him to give a speech, he ends up being attacked by crows because of his baldness.