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Funny: The Birdcage
  • Armand's speech about Guatamalan life in the country.
    Armand: A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens, and a man's wealth is measured by the size of his cock.
  • Drag!Senator Keeley's plaintive "No one will dance with me. I think it's this dress, I told them white would make me look fat."
  • Armand tries to get Albert to walk like a more traditional man, and demonstrates John Wayne's walk for him to copy. Albert's version of it is a bizarre, hip-twirling sashay.
    Albert: No good?
    Armand: Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized that John Wayne walked like that.
  • Albert is finally prevailed upon to wear a conservative dark suit. He walks out stiffly, without any of his usual mannerisms, and sits down. Armand and Val look down and realize that he's wearing bright pink socks.
    Albert: [hopefully] Oh. Well, one does want a hint of color...
  • The effeminate scream Albert makes upon seeing that the house has been redecorated.
    Albert: We've been robbed!
  • At the wedding, two of the conservative women in attendance are confused.
    First woman: Which one is the mother?
    Second woman (watching both Albert and Katherine crying like mad): ...I just don't know.
    • Also at the wedding: "Bob Dole is gorgeous!"

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