History Funny / TheBirdcage

24th Aug '16 2:20:24 AM 06tele
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-->'''Armand''': So what? Just remember not to go to pieces when that happens. React like a man, calmly. You say to yourself, "Albert, you
pierced the toast. So what?" It's not the end of your life.

to:

-->'''Armand''': So what? Just remember not to go to pieces when that happens. React like a man, calmly. You say to yourself, "Albert, you
you pierced the toast. So what?" It's not the end of your life.
24th Aug '16 2:20:14 AM 06tele
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Added DiffLines:

* Albert freaking out when he's learning how to butter toast like a man.
-->'''Albert''': [''screams''] Oh, God! I pierced the toast!
-->'''Armand''': So what? Just remember not to go to pieces when that happens. React like a man, calmly. You say to yourself, "Albert, you
pierced the toast. So what?" It's not the end of your life.
-->'''Albert''': "Albert, you pierced the toast. So what?" Of course. There's no need to get hysterical. All l have to remember is, I can always get more toast.
24th Aug '16 2:14:41 AM 06tele
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* Albert is finally prevailed upon to wear a conservative dark suit. He walks out stiffly, attempting to hold back his usual mannerisms, and sits down. Armand and Val look down and realize that he's wearing bright pink socks.
-->'''Albert:''' ''[hopefully]'' Oh. Well, one does want a hint of color...

to:

* Albert is finally prevailed upon to wear a conservative dark suit. He walks out stiffly, attempting to hold back his usual mannerisms, and sits down. Armand and Val look down and realize that he's
-->'''Albert''': ...What? No good? Why? I'm dressed just the way you are. I took off all my rings. I'm not
wearing any makeup. I'm just...a "guy".
-->'''Armand''': [''indicating Albert's
bright pink socks.
-->'''Albert:''' ''[hopefully]'' Oh.
socks''] What about those?
-->'''Albert''': Those? [''hopefully'']
Well, one does want a hint of color...
29th Jun '16 3:45:52 PM NWolfman
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* "So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it."

to:

* "So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it.""
* Armond's response to Katherine apologizing for not being very maternal and being totally out of Val's life since his birth.
-->''Oh, I'm'' very ''maternal! And Albert is [[CampGay practically a breast]]!''
2nd Jan '16 8:24:49 PM Pren
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* So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it."

to:

* So "So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it."
10th Oct '15 8:39:19 PM Pren
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-->'''Armand:''' [[SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].

to:

-->'''Armand:''' [[SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].miracle]].
* So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it."
26th Jul '15 6:17:55 PM HeraldAlberich
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-->'''Armand''': A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens, and a man's wealth is measured by [[StealthPun the size of his cock.]]
* Armand directing a dance sequence that involves an actor, who is directed to sit still for most of the act, and conveying some flamboyant moves ("Madonna! Madonna! Madonna!") and ending that direction with "keep it all in."
** "...but you keep it all inside."

to:

-->'''Armand''': -->'''Armand:''' A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens, and a man's wealth is measured by [[StealthPun the size of his cock.]]
* Armand directing a dance sequence that involves an actor, who is directed to sit still for most of the act, and conveying some flamboyant moves ("Madonna! Madonna! Madonna!") and ending that direction with "keep it all in."
** "...
"... but you keep it all inside."



* Armand tries to get Albert to walk like a more traditional man, and demonstrates JohnWayne's walk for him to copy. Albert's version of it is a bizarre, hip-twirling sashay.
-->'''Albert''': No good?
-->'''Armand''': Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized that John Wayne walked like that.
* Albert is finally prevailed upon to wear a conservative dark suit. He walks out stiffly, without any of his usual mannerisms, and sits down. Armand and Val look down and realize that he's wearing bright pink socks.
-->'''Albert''': ''[hopefully]'' Oh. Well, one does want a hint of color...

to:

* Armand tries to get Albert to walk like a more traditional man, and demonstrates JohnWayne's walk for advises him to copy.copy Creator/JohnWayne. Albert's version of it is a bizarre, hip-twirling sashay.
-->'''Albert''': -->'''Albert:''' No good?
-->'''Armand''': -->'''Armand:''' Actually, it's perfect. I just never realized that John Wayne walked like that.
* Albert is finally prevailed upon to wear a conservative dark suit. He walks out stiffly, without any of attempting to hold back his usual mannerisms, and sits down. Armand and Val look down and realize that he's wearing bright pink socks.
-->'''Albert''': -->'''Albert:''' ''[hopefully]'' Oh. Well, one does want a hint of color...



-->'''Albert''': We've been robbed!

to:

-->'''Albert''': -->'''Albert:''' We've been robbed!



--> '''Albert:''' If you knew how many ''maids'' we've run in the last six years, I could name a dozen; Rodney, Bruno, Chuck-.

to:

--> '''Albert:''' -->'''Albert:''' If you knew how many ''maids'' we've run through in the last six years, I could name a dozen; Rodney, Bruno, Chuck-.Chuck--



-->'''First woman''': Which one is the mother?\\
'''Second woman''' (watching both Albert and Katherine crying like mad): ...I just don't know.

to:

-->'''First woman''': woman:''' Which one is the mother?\\
'''Second woman''' (watching woman:''' ''[watching both Albert and Katherine crying like mad): ...mad]''' ... I just don't know.



--> '''Albert''': Oh, Armand, (beat) our baby is going to leave us and we won't have any others.
--> '''Armand''': [[SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].

to:

--> '''Albert''': -->'''Albert:''' Oh, Armand, (beat) ''[beat]'' our baby is going to leave us and we won't have any others.
--> '''Armand''': -->'''Armand:''' [[SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].
29th Apr '15 9:22:55 AM tropeminer
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--> '''Albert''': Out baby is leaving the nest, and we'll never have another.

to:

--> '''Albert''': Out Oh, Armand, (beat) our baby is leaving the nest, going to leave us and we'll never we won't have another.any others.
1st Apr '15 1:32:09 PM NWolfman
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--> '''Armand''': [SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].

to:

--> '''Armand''': [SarcasmMode [[SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].
1st Apr '15 1:31:56 PM NWolfman
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** Also at the wedding: "Bob Dole is ''gorgeous!''"

to:

** Also at the wedding: "Bob Dole is ''gorgeous!''"''gorgeous!''"
* Albert getting sentimental over Val's wedding announcement.
--> '''Albert''': Out baby is leaving the nest, and we'll never have another.
--> '''Armand''': [SarcasmMode Not without]] [[MrSeahorse a miracle]].
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheBirdcage