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Funny / The Babysitter (2017)

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  • The first thing that gets Cole's attention upon waking up and realizing he's tied to a chair, is that Max isn't wearing a shirt. For some reason, though he never says why.
    Cole: ...Why are you shirtless?
    • He asks two more times in the scene, and never does get a proper answer. As an added bonus: the second time Cole asks about it, Max points at him and gives Cole a look as if to say, 'Hey, knock it off, kid'.
    • "POCKET KNIFE... BITCHES."
    • Cole tries to stealthily cut himself free, sawing his pocket knife against the rope behind his back while talking to the cultists, until Allison points out, there's a mirror right behind him and they can see. Cue Cole nervously sawing faster and Bee deadpanly asking him why he's doing so.
    • Cole accuses them of having an orgy, much to their amusement.
      Sonya: Do you even know what an orgy is?
      Cole: I'm guessing it's something sad people do 'cause they want other sad people to like them and they can forget for one minute how sad they are in general.
      Max: That's actually a pretty good answer.
  • Allison wants to upload footage of the sacrifice.
    Allison: No one has ever done human sacrifice!
    Sonya: People have always done human sacrifice.
    Allison: Okay, but... not in America, with hot people.
  • "What are you wearing? Looking like Big Bird's side bitch."
  • Allison's Skewed Priorities after getting shot in the chest. "What guy is gonna want to motorboat this?!"
  • Sonya's last words.
    Sonya: I'M STILL ALIVE, MOTHERF—
    [BOOM!]
  • Cole's heated confrontation with Bee.
    Cole: You're Don Draper! From Mad Men! How he's all cool, and handsome, and everybody loves him, and then he goes home and you find out he has a wife the whole time. He's such a piece of shit!
    [Beat.]
    Bee: Did you just ruin Mad Men for me?
    Cole: It's not even on anymore. You'll live.
    Bee: Still.
  • Just before the film's climax, Cole tries to protect his 12-year old neighbor, Melanie, by locking her in her bathroom. Or so he thinks, until she tells him why it wouldn't work:
    Melanie: (from the other side of the door) "What're you doing?"
    Melanie: "It locks from the inside, dumbass."
    Cole: (after brief pause) "Oh."
    Melanie: (smiles) "It was really sweet of you, though."
  • Bee's final moments set to Queen's We Are The Champions is utterly hilarious.

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