In the wake of the 1990 film, the Turtles appeared on the Barbara Walters Oscar Special. Walters was famous for eliciting tears from celebrities. The interview was staged so that Donatello would tear up, but the animatronics went wrong and instead, the water came almost shooting out of his eyes. The actor stayed in character, and started Wangst-y sobbing. The Special left in it.
Leonardo grabs on a bike hanging on the ceiling and starts kicking the Foot ninjas. The handle breaks off, he falls and three ninjas jump on him.
Donny and Mikey during "meditation".
Donny and Mikey: Dan nan na... Ninjitsu!
Mikey: Well it's sort of like meditating.
The pizza slice scene in the beginning.
Michelangelo:(While Leonardo is slicing the pizza with his katanas) Yes, friends, the new Turbo Ginsu! It dices! It slices! And yes, it makes french fries in thirty different- (One slice lands on Splinter's head) Whoops!
And after Casey knocks out Tatsu with a golf driver:
Casey: *kisses the club* I'll never call golf a dull game again.
When Michelangelo asks Donatello for some pizza.
Donatello: Question. Michealangelo: Yeah? Donatello: Do you like Penicillin on your pizza? Michealangelo: D'oh!
(Both start humming "Taps")
In Central Park, where Casey and Raph first meet and fight each other.
Casey: (Raph has just knocked him down) New game, round-head. (Pulls out cricket bat) Cricket?
Raph: Cricket?! Nobody understands cricket! You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!
Casey: I'll teach you! (Whacks Raph with the bat, sending him headfirst into a trash can.) See? Six runs.
Later on, when Raph's chasing Casey down the street.
During the fight in April's apartment, Don gets his head dunked into the fish tank. When he comes up, he spits water into one Foot Soldier's face.
While watching April on TV, Michaelangelo swoons, "She's a BAAAAAAAABE!"
Also, when they first notice that the reporter is that woman they saved from being mugged, ("That's her!") Mikey pretends to kiss the screen. "Mmmwah! I'm in love!"
After Donnie and Casey's attempt to repair the truck in the garage.
Donnie: It worked.
Casey: (throws a rag at his face)
Casey getting anxious about sleeping in the sewers leads to this gem:
Donnie: You're a claustrophobic!
Casey: You want a fist in the mouth?
Donnie: (defensively) Mm-mn...!
Casey: I never even looked at another guy before!
When Raph tumbles over the hood of a cab.
Passenger: What the heck was that?
Cabbie: Looked like sort of a big turtle, in a trench coat. You're goin' to La Guardia, right?
Casey's sarcastic "Oops!" when he switches the trash compactor the Shredder landed in on.
Mikey: "You dirty rat! You killed my brother! You dirty rat!" April:(laughing) That must be Splinter's favorite. (The Turtles stare at her) April: It was a joke! (Beat. Everyone laughs.)
When Splinter tells April the story of how he and the turtles came to be, at the time April is in shock and denial at the fact that she's surrounded by talking turtles and a rat. She goes as far as insist she is dreaming and interrupts Splinter's storytelling with this funny gem.
Shortly after, Donatello attempts to untie Raphael, first loudly ripping the tape off his mouth, prompting
Raphael GEEZ! Why don't you just rip my lips off!? You'd think —
Donatello (puts the tape back on) Here, let me get this first...
Mikey tickling Tokka's feet when he's stuck in the manhole. Tokka calls for help.
Mikey getting jumped by Foot Ninjas at the junkyard, only for him to find his way out of the attack; his enemies continue to punch, completely unaware that they're only hitting dirt now.
Mikey pulled this trick during their fight with the robbers in the beginning of the second film. In the scene behind Don when he hogties a robber.
After Keno helps Raph sneak into the Foot's hideout:
Keno: What are we looking for anyway? Raph: Quiet. You wanna get us... (Tatsu sneaks from behind them) caught? Yeah, hi, we were looking for a muffler for a '77 Chevy. (Tatsu grunts and a bunch of Foot Ninjas surrounds them) Raph: Sheesh! Whatever happen to service with a smile? (Raph casually leans on a stack of tires, then he throws one at Tatsu and the ninjas)
Raph: (to Keno) Run! Or I'll kick your butt!
Raph: (kicking around) Excuse me! Pardon me!
After the ninjas restrain him:
Raph: I'm curious, any of you guys hear the expression "fair fight"?
Follow by an insult to Tatsu right in front of him shortly before Shredder shows up.
Raph: You know pal, if I had a face like yours, I try to make it up for with some sort of a personality.
Leo and Raph shutting Mikey up when he almost give away their location to Keno.
Mikey: Its a good thing we saw you coming from our roof— (Leo kicks him) Ow! I mean, from across— (Raph dope slaps him) OOOWWWWWW!
Leo's angry rant about Raph's going solo.
Don: So, you (April) haven't seen Raph at all, huh? Leo: Yeah, well, if you do, tell him thanks for wasting our time! Because instead of looking out for the Foot and the ooze, like we SHOULD, we'll have to go and look for him instead! (throws angrily a heavy box he was holding on the floor, right on Don's feet) April: What was that? Don: (in pain) Leo says "hi".
Right after that we have Mikey chasing Don, begging to give him the phone, while Don hops away with one leg.
Mikey: Hey Donny, give me the phone! Please! Please! Don: Let us know if you hear something... (we cut to April, hearing indistinct chattering) Don: No! No! Oh oh alright, here! *sigh* Mikey: April? It's Mikey! I just like to say... helloooo. *kiss, kiss,* Don: Would you give me that!
When the transformed Tokka and Rahzar first emerge from their pens, Shredder prepares to assert his dominance by fighting them into submission: "When this is over, you will call me Master!" This proves to be unnecessary- the two 'monsters' promptly imprint Shredder as their surrogate mother and start to hug him, crooning "Mama!" Shredder is not pleased.
Shredder shouting "BABIES!! THEY'RE BABIES!!" before making a weird "OORAAAAWAAAAH" sound, though this is more narm than anything it's still funny, in retrospect the narm may have been intentional.
Perry: What did you expect? That they'd come out quoting Macbeth? Shredder: They are stupid! Perry: They're not stupid, they're infants! (they bonk each other on the head with some metal pipes and laugh) Okay, they're stupid infants...
Raph and Keno discuss their plan;
Raph: Here's the plan; we get you in, we find the Foot headquarters, we get you outta there to tell the others, right?
Keno: (sarcastic) Gee, maybe I should write this down.
Raph gets a Foot ninja in a headlock and taunts one of his comrades. The taunted ninja attempts to hit Raph, but Raph pulls his ally's head into it first. Sheesh!
Raph: Hey, nice shot! (pow) You're good!
"I got two words that will solve all our housing problems... Time Share!"
"Hmmmm... Not quite ripe yet"
After Keno steps on Raph's foot:
Raph: Can I hurt him?! Pleeease! Tell me I can hurt him. Please. Please!
The professor dancing (horribly) in the mosh pit during Vanilla Ice's Ninja Rap.
The look on everyone's faces when Mikey drops a slice of pizza into the anti-mutagen that they are concocting.
When Splinter sees the news broadcast where April thanks the Turtles: "Idiots."
Then after he asks them if they were seen, they lie. Splinter shows them a newspaper headline with their pictures, and says, "Practice harder. Ten flips, now! And remember: GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!" (the Turtles perform a backflip) "I made another funny! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
At the beginning, Splinter tells the Turtles that they must be careful not to be seen by other humans. "They're world can never be ours." At this, Mikey asks pleadingly, "Not even pizza?" There's a beat as the Turtles look imploringly at Splinter, who replies, "Pizza's...okay." The Turtles are very relieved to hear this.
Mikey: Oh man, you gave me a heart attack! [Raph gives him a noogie.]