Funny / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

• As Don, Leo, and Raph are Dressing as the Enemy, Don and Raph are caught by two guards.
  Don: Uh, Ohaiyo wasabi.
  Raph: *Beat* 'Hello mustard'?
  Don: Alright, so my Japanese is a little rusty.
  (Don attempts more Gratuitous Japanese. Raph just boredly Offhand Backhands the two guards with both fists.)
  Raph: How about 'Sayonara?'
  • Before that, Niles angrily calls Raph an "ugly lump of dung", angering him. He angrily asks Leo "Did you hear what he called me?" Leo very casually responds "Yeah, an ugly lump of dung", and walks away.
    Raph: That was an insult Leo.
    Don: Not necessarily, Raph. Did you know that in some countries, dung is used as a fuel source?
    Raph: (mocking Don) Dung is used as a fuel source.
• The turtles are sneaking around disguised as Honor guards.
  Leo: Okay, so far this disguise is working. But remember, we're turtles, not honor guards.
  Raph: Oh, thanks for pointing out Leo! That would explain the large shell on my back.
  Leo: (annoyed) Well you don't have to be so sarcastic!
  Raph: Well, I'm sorry, Leo, but that's my nature.
• I ask you, what could be funnier than a bunch of poor samurai transported to a sewer in nothing but the "bare" essentials? Oh I know, one of them in boxers!
  • Casey tries to teach them to play hockey after they watch a game on tv; they immediately start brawling like the players did. Casey, unsurprisingly, decides to just go with it.
  • There's something hilarious about Casey and Splinter just... hanging out.
  • During the ending when the Turtles, April and the Samurai have to return to their times, one of the Guards was trying to bring the television back!
  • Mikey asks Kenshin the question fans have been wanting the answer to for years
  Mikey: How did you get into April's pants?
• "Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!"
• Mikey trying to convince the henchmen he's chasing that he's a beautiful princess under a spell that they can break with a kiss. He later runs past their boss and they both get a bewildered look on their faces, the boss because he's just seen a giant turtle in samurai armor and Mikey because... "Clint Eastwood...?"
  • Made funnier by the fact that the dramatic danger music of the burning village suddenly turns into the guitar background song of an old Western movie.
  • The henchmen who found Mikey assume he's a captive Honor Guard, so they free him and bow to him mockingly. Their laughter turn to utter terror when they see his face.
• When they wet Willy one mook so many times, that in the climax of the movie he does it to himself in fear of having it happen again.
• Kenshin's first minute in the 20th century. He sees the turtles, goes "Kappa!" and reaches for his sword. Then Splinter intervenes, causing Kenshin to faint from all the excitement.
  Don: You have that effect on people, don't you, Master?
  Splinter: Hmm, out cold.
• Sneaking back into the dungeon, Mikey pretends to be a cat in order to get the guard's attention. When the guard leans over the garbage chute to look for the feline, Mikey grabs him and throws him in with a shout of "Meow, dude!"
• The failed attempt at making feudal pizza. The result is hard enough to be thrown as a frisbee.
  Michelangelo: Frisbee. Also cool. Zing! (Throws it)
  (The "frisbee" hits Donatello, knocking him into the blacksmith. Mikey panics and runs away.)
  Donatello: (Angry Fist-Shake) Why, I oughta... (Sees blacksmith glaring at him) But... It was Mike with the thing and the lady!
• The look Leonardo was making getting angry at Norinaga.
  • Then after he gets disarmed, Norinaga tells him to go ahead and finish him. Leo pulls out his other sword... and cuts off Norinaga's ponytail.
  Leo: There. Short enough for ya?
• "You can roast her, toast her, chop her off into tiny little pieces, and feed her to the birds."
• "It's me again, Fatso-san!"
• After Leo drops a giant bell over the Daimayo.
  Raph: Who's trapped inside?
  Leo: Lord Norinaga!
  Don: Norinaga?
  (Don suddenly swings his staff at the bell, forcing the other turtles to duck as the bell rings, with Norinaga screaming inside.)
  Don: Name rings a bell!
  • Later, Walker tries to shoot Leo with a cannon, misses, and hits the bell. Norinaga pulls himself out, looking immensely frazzled but otherwise unharmed.
  Don: Hey, look! It's Don King!
• "Bungee jumping without a bungee! That could be dangerous."
• Don, Leo, and Raph fight off guards in the dungeon. Leo locks the door from the inside when reinforcements are sent in.
  Leo: Fight's over, we're closed.
• When the Turtles first arrive in Feudal Japan, they take the place of the Honor Guard..on horseback...in a battle. Mikey, who has the scepter, gets separated while the others are dumped into a marsh.
  Don: I think I swallowed a frog! I hope it wasn't an ancestor...
  Raph: (Sarcasm Mode) That was fun.
  Leo: Well, at least the time travel worked.
  Raph: We're here five minutes and we're already down one turtle, the magic scepter-
  Don: Our dignity.
  Raph: And no April! Oy...
  • Also the turtles freaking out when they end up on horses, something they didn't expect.
    Leo: How do you steer this thing?!
    Don: There's no steering wheel on mine!
    Mike: (sitting backwards on his horse) You're lucky! Mine doesn't even have a head!
• Raph admires the beautiful natural scenary of feudal Japan.
  Raph: Ahhh nature! Makes me wanna.... I don't know, migrate or something.
  Don: Turtles don't migrate, Raph. Birds do!
  Raph: Hey, I got a beak, don't I?
  • This comment later comes back to bite him.
    (The Turtles find scrolls of The battle of the thousand swords, which depicts four demons that resemble the Turtles)
    Don: Definitely family. Looks like me, but it's got Raph's beak.
    (The other Turtles laugh while an annoyed Raph nudges Don)