- "I'M FIVE YEARS OLDER AND IN COLLEGE!!!" *SAILING MISHAP!!*
- "LATE 360 SHOVE-IT TO BONELESS...'D!"
- "Let's see... Lion's mouth plus Decemberween present divided by peer pressure times height equals... TRIPLE SALCHOW!"
- "Double-double whipless mochacinno half-caf!"
- "Wave o' babies..."
- "GAZELLE CARCASS!"
- "Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office." "Aw, peas!"
- "16-hour drum solo!" FLOOR TOM'D! STEP MOM'D! ... Pom-pom'd?
- TWELVE-SIDED DIE'D!! Oh, that's rough.
- "This be my new back-up band: a shark."
- The girls reacting to Cheerleader's death by the Crazy Learner's Permit Girl:
So and So: Woah...Cheerleader's gone.
Mr. Pitters: We're ointment!
The Ugly One: The tyranny is over!
Mr. Pitters: I can be a teen girl!
- The Best Friends Squad song.
What's Her Face ate staple sauce
A heaping bowl of staple sauce
And Crazy Learner's Permit Girl
Gave me a ride to Babbage's.
- Strong Bad making out with the paper that The Ugly One post-makeover is drawn on. His brother's reactions only make it better.
Strong Bad: [Having just been caught kissing a piece of paper] WHAJIT - UH, THIS IS A PIECE OF, UH, PIIIZZAAAAAA [Stuffs the paper into his mouth]
It's over! Strong Sad:
Uh, Strong Bad, were you just first-basin' it with that piece of loose-leaf?!
- What's Her Face getting stuck on Spin Mode. "Wheeeeeeeeeee."
- "BAGH! Only 23 metres!"
- "Oww! I hope they have these corn chips in heaven!"
- "Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!"
Strong Bad: (imitating a race car)
- "Forebode... CHOMP!"
- So and So meets her boss at the Shirt Folding Store, whose face is made from magazine clippings:
Manager: Here's you're name tag, MARK! Now get to minimum wage-in'!
Narrator Strong Bad: MEET A FIST! (Manager gets punched out by an astronaut)
Astronaut: Ckhk. She killed my dog.
So and So: Uuum... 'kay.
Astronaut: (sprouts a superhero cape and flies away) Ckhk. Da da da DA!
- A fat guy coughs up a miniature baseball stadium while trying to buy a "coughaversary" gift for his wife. ("A coughaversary?! How romantic!")
Stadium: "...and it's a double play!" "Yaaaay!"
Coughing Man: ...That's not my wife.
So and So: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuum... 'kay.
- The campfire song:
And the chumbly wumbly bear came a-tumblin' down! Did he sell beans? Lord no! Did he sell eggs? Lord no! But he couldn't and he wouldn't and he shouldn't, so he stapled it down!
Tiiiiiiines, tiiiiiines, tiiiiiiiines, TINES!
- Tompkins and his virtual pet. "Please stop feeding me!" ("Heh heh heh heh.")
- "Ding dong. Ding dong, yo."
- Mrs. Tompkins-robot-mom-erson's Long List of instructions:
Momkins: Listen, I'll be at a place until a time. My cell phone number is some numbers. The baby needs stuff. What's poison control? Punch Tompkins in the gut. Good luck! (bolts out the door with a crazed expression on her face)
Narrator Strong Bad: SHE GONE!
- "Don't let Timkins play my PSone!"
- Cheerleader's, What's Her Face's, and The Ugly One's babysitting rates are, respectively, "$15/hour", "$4.75/hour", and "plain yogurt/hour".
- "SHHH! Keep it down! The baby is studying for the SAT."
- "Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. Are all goo goos wah wahs?"
- Either Cheerleader got a seriously wrong number and is too self-absorbed to notice, or her "B-List" of cute boys to call includes a fat, middle-aged plumber named Randy.
Plumber: And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?
Cheerleader: Bring all your hot friends! They've got two pantries!
- So and So's face when she yells, "STOP! How many of those have you had?!"
- "Don't you remember health class?! You'll microwave the baby!!" (while holding a book that says "
urban legends i mean, health class")
- The Ugly One is apparently a fan of rapper Peacey P, who just happens to randomly appear when she mentions him.
: Crample-o-stow wha clamminuh whaow...
My new album drop next Sursdai, y'all biscuitheads! The Ugly One:
Can a sister get an autograph?
(Peacey P's bodyguard dangles TUO off a balcony
) Narrator Strong Bad:
DANGLED OFF A HOTEL BALCONY'D! The Ugly One: That's it? Narrator Strong Bad:
Uh, and then DROPPED FROM SAID HOTEL BALCONY'D!
(The Ugly One is dropped onto a "Bayonet Tailgate Party"
) The Ugly One:
- The Garbage Disposal Song.
- GARBAGE DISPOSAL, WHAT A WAY TO GO! GARBAGE DISPOSAL, MEET SO AND SO!
- "Snack Mix. In Tompkins' parlor. WITH THE PRETZEL STICK!"
- "You're not my real father!"